Judy Barber & Frederick Hertz

Caring.com Experts

About

Judy Barber, a mediator and family business consultant, assists clients in resolving overlapping family and money conflicts so they are better able to make sound estate planning decisions. A founding member of the ABA Committee on the Psychological and Emotional Issues in Estate Planning, she is also a licensed family therapist. More information about Judy can be found at here.

Frederick Hertz is an attorney and mediator who specializes in resolving co-ownership matters involving families, siblings, spouses, cohabitants and domestic partners. Fred is also the co-author of Nolo Press’ Legal Guide for Lesbian & Gay Couples and Living Together: A Legal Guide for Unmarried Couples. More information about his work can be found at here.

Judy and Fred co-mediate family property and financial conflicts, and each work individually as mediators as well.

Recently Published on Caring.com

  1. Saturday December 03, 2011

    1. My sister has power of attorney over my father. She changed his life insurance policy to not only to be the owner of the policy but also changed my mother from being beneficary to herself. Is this legal?

      Answer - Your question raises issues that frequently arise in families. It appears that your father appointed your sister as his power of attorney – though interestingly, you speak of it as her having “obtained” that right. From a technical legal matter, however, it was something he did – and therein lies in lies the legal answer to your question...

  2. Friday October 21, 2011

    1. Can I bill my Mother-in-law's estate for my time and expenses while being her DPOA?

      Answer - In most states you are not allowed to bill for this time spent under a DPOA. If your mother in law had set up a trust then it might have been possible to compensated for your time, if the trust language expressly allowed it. Here, you will need to consult with a probate attorney to learn what the particular...

    2. I think my mother is being unfair with the distribution of her property, what can I do?

      Answer - This is a very difficult situation, as it raises all sorts of issues about your family, your relationship to your siblings, and how your mother is addressing your very different financial needs. There are two paths you could follow: one would be to find a family counselor or mediator, or maybe a pastor...

  3. Tuesday October 18, 2011

    1. Does inheritance left to my husband pass to me in his death?

      Answer - The answer totally depends on what the will says and what the legal rules are in your state. There is no universal answer, so you will need to get a copy of her will and bring it to a lawyer who is experienced in probate matters in your state to get the answer to your question.

    2. How can I make sure that my father's house goes to me and not to my brother?

      Answer - We understand that your dad does not want contact with your brother. But here is the question we would ask of you: what kind of a relationship do you want with your sibling? Assuming that the legal issues can be resolved and it is clear the wishes of your father are protected, who tells your brother of the outcome...

  4. Friday October 14, 2011

    1. Who should receive my deceased daughter's inheritance: her husband or her sister?

      Answer - The answer to this question depends on two factors: what precisely does your ex-husband's will say, and what is the law in your state regarding an heir who predeceases the testator. We recommend that you contact a local estate attorney, and consult with that attorney who will surely be able to answer the question once he or she reviews the will...

  5. Tuesday October 11, 2011

    1. What are the consequences for giving all of the deceased personal things to charity?

      Answer - We can't answer your question because we don't know what the will actually said. If it allowed the executor to dispose of the personal effects however they saw fit, then the successor executor (who I assume is person C) would be within his or her legal rights to give them away to charity...

  6. Tuesday October 04, 2011

    1. Can my step-siblings use father's money to spend on themselves?

      Answer - The situation you are facing is, unfortunately, all two common with “blended” families such as yours. Your father had two sets of children, one from each of his marriages, but he has given legal authority to the children from his second marriage, through the powers of attorney that you describe....

  7. Friday September 30, 2011

    1. Can my brother an I sell my mother's home if we are not on the deed?

      Answer - Every state has its own probate rules, and you will need to set up a court probate to gain permission to sell the house. As part of that process, the court will issue a new deed in your name - and you may also be required to set up a belated probate in your father's name to clear the title of his name as well...

    2. Does my husband have any rights to my inheritance?

      Answer - This answer totally depends on the marital law rules of your particular state, and what (if any) agreements you and your husband have. And, it also depends on the "state" of your marriage emotionally. In most states you have the right to keep your inherited assets separate, and make all decisions about them privately...

    3. How long does it usually take for a will to be filed with a probate court?

      Answer - Every state has its own rules, both for the filing of the will and the processing of the probate. Each state has its own rules for notifying creditors, and for settling the estate. So, you should be contacting the lawyer you hired and ask him or her for the specific answers to these questions...

  8. Monday September 19, 2011

    1. How do I tell my sister I don't think the caregiving situation with our father is financially fair?

      Answer - You are in a tough spot and the issue of fairness is not just about your sister. It is important to keep in mind that your father also has a role in the lack of financial fairness. From what we understand, your father was not thinking about how he would equalize his financial resources for his two daughters...

    2. When my mother dies, is there anyway for my sister and I to receive the inheritance we deserve?

      Answer - A family conflict over an inheritance likes yours is excruciatingly painful. You have good reason to feel that you have been betrayed. It seems as though your sister dishonored your father’s wishes and may have taken advantage of your mother’s vulnerabi...

  9. Sunday September 18, 2011

    1. How can I convince my sister to what she has inherited for the money?

      Answer - Convincing your sister to sell the inherited assets may be difficult because the two of you experience your relationship to your parents’ things so differently. Consider proposing an open conversation about what it means for each of you to sell off pieces of their life togeth...

  10. Friday August 26, 2011

    1. Do we need to go to probate court?

      Answer - California Probate Code Section 850 allows a variant approach, called a Heggstad Petition (named after an appellate decision in a case involving a family named Heggstad), which allows you to ask the court to include the town house in the trust, as if your dad had put the deed into the trust...

  11. Monday August 22, 2011

    1. How do I resolve the conflict around my parents house with my sister?

      Answer - This is not a simple problem at all, and it is far too complex for us to answer in this format. We've often seen such conflicts arise after the death of a parent, and the underlying issues of who deserves what and who helped more can surface in all sorts of settings...

  12. Friday August 19, 2011

    1. Is there a way to get around gift taxes on inheritance?

      Answer - You are confusing the rule for gift tax reporting and the rule for gift tax payments. Under current law anyone can give away up to $13,000 per year to any person, without having to report the gift. Any gift above that amount must be reported to the IRS, but you are allowed to give up to $5,000,000 over...

    2. If someone who is supposed to receive an interitance dies, who gets that part of the inheritance?

      Answer - The answer to your question depends on the specific language of the will, and the rules of inheritance of your state. You will need to consult with an estate lawyer in your state, and they can review the will and explain the outcome to you.

  13. Wednesday August 10, 2011

    1. Can a power of attorney sell a house that was willed to another family member?

      Answer - The answer to your question depends on how the power of attorney was drafted. Sometimes they include the right to sell a house, and sometimes they don't. Your neighbors should be consulting with an attorney, who can review the power of attorney, and tell them what is authorized. Unfortunately, there is no universal answer to the question...

  14. Tuesday August 02, 2011

    1. Is my sister-in-law has durable power of attorney for my brother, what does happens to my mom's estate when she passes?

      Answer - A power of attorney, even one that is durable (i.e. remains in effect after the person is unconscious or incompetent) is no longer effective once the principal (the person who signed it) passes away. At that point in time the executor (if they have a will) or substitute trustee (if they have a trust) takes over the legal authority...

  15. Friday July 29, 2011

    1. Can you legally prevent someone from receiving inheritance if they lived off their parents?

      Answer - It probably doesn’t feel fair that your wife’s sister, shares equally in the inheritance. She lacked a work ethic and relied on the parents to provide necessities. Unfortunately for you, there is no legal cause of action to take away her right to inh...

  16. Monday July 25, 2011

    1. To inherit my brother's property, will I need to go through the mortgage company?

      Answer - There is no universally correct answer to your question. Once you become the owner of the property, either through a probate or a trust administration, you will need to contact the lender. Some lenders will allow you to assume the mortgage or continue to make payments, whereas others will insist on your getting a new loan...

  17. Friday July 15, 2011

    1. What is the law regarding responsibilities of the co executor of a will?

      Answer - You are in a sticky situation there and you are asking all the right questions --but this is not something we can answer for you. The answer depends on the precise language of the will, and how your state law is worded. Generally speaking you are supposed to act neutrally to carry out the intention of the will, and not favor EITHER side of the family...

    2. Can I reduce my sister's share of the sale of mom's home because of the legal expences she has caused me?

      Answer - It is unlikely that you could do what you would like to do here. A dispute between the two of you over the restraining order and its legal costs is not really part of the "estate" - and you typically cannot just deduct the costs of the legal problem from her share of the estate. Instead, you have a legal duty to carry out the terms of the estate plan...

    3. Is there a cost for lawyers to execute a will?

      Answer - There is no universal answer here. Every state has its own rules on what must be done in a will and in what instances a probate court process is required. You will need to look at the rules of your particular state and your particular situation - either by doing research in your local law library or speaking with a local estate lawyer...