Brenda Avadian

Caring.com Expert

About

Since 1996, Brenda Avadian has helped family caregivers for loved ones with Alzheimer’s and dementia gain knowledge and strength through hope and humor.

Her personal attention to caregivers catches many by pleasant surprise. And her energy and enthusiasm, combined with her detailed approach, keeps her in demand as a speaker.

A spokesperson for the full range of caring options -- including in-home, adult day, residential, assisted, continuing, and skilled nursing care -- Brenda Avadian advocates these services according to each family’s unique needs.

To help caregivers one-on-one, she offers personalized coaching to those who make a donation to TheCaregiversVoice.com that she founded in 1998.

Why I care

"As a family caregiver to my father with Alzheimer’s, I was one of the first family caregivers willing to write and speak nationally about the adventures of caregiving. My memoir, 'Where’s my shoes?' My Father’s Walk through Alzheimer’s, now in its second edition, gained international prominence and continues to inform, comfort, and strengthen families and the professionals who serve them.

"My caregiving experience changed my approach to life, and I’d like to share the seeds of joyful caring. I edit the Finding the JOY series of titles and invite you to submit your joyful story or photo. I'll help you to survive, thrive, and even find humor in caregiving."

Links

Recently Published on Caring.com

  1. Wednesday May 09, 2012

    1. My husband believes he often sees his father. Should I tell him it can't be?

      Answer - If I may take a philosophical bent, how can you be sure it can't be that your husband believes he sees his father?

  2. Monday May 07, 2012

    1. My mother with Alzheimer's almost died of dehydration twice. What could be the cause?

      Answer - Dehydration can cause organ failure and death if ignored.

  3. Friday May 04, 2012

    1. How do I keep Mom from trying to leave house?

      Answer - Here are a few more tips and resources to help you keep Mom from trying to leave the house.

    2. How to deal with being cut off from inheritance?

      Answer - How to deal with being cut off from inheritance is one of the difficult questions because the answers are not easy.

  4. Thursday May 03, 2012

    1. How do I talk to my girlfriend about her feelings and the situation ?

      Answer - When talking with your girlfriend about her feelings and the situation of her mother's placement in a nursing home, the best you can do is to ask questions then listen ... really listen.

  5. Wednesday April 18, 2012

    1. Grandma begged us to move in. Our family thinks we're taking advantage of her. What can we do?

      Answer - Even though your Grandma begged you to move in and your family thinks you and your significant other are taking advantage of her, you did what you could.

    2. What does it mean when my husband clicks clicks his teeth?

      Answer - When your husband clicks his teeth it could mean he is feeling nervous and this is the way he expresses it.

  6. Tuesday April 17, 2012

    1. When is it best to transition someone to assisted living?

      Answer - When to transition someone to assisted living depends on you and your sister.

    2. What do I do if I suspect alzheimer's in myself?

      Answer - I read somewhere that all the information from the year 0 to 2000 is what we receive each week!

  7. Tuesday March 27, 2012

    1. How to help mom consider moving in with us?

      Answer - It will take time and lots of patience to convince your mom to move in with you.

    2. How can I stop my brother from draining my mother's bank account?

      Answer - There are three steps you can take to stop your brother from draining your mother's bank account.

  8. Thursday March 22, 2012

    1. Why is it necessary to get a diagnosis for Alzheimer's or dementia?

      Answer - It makes a big difference to get a diagnosis if one is experiencing memory loss.

  9. Wednesday March 21, 2012

    1. Can a patient's negative attitude speed up the progression of Alzheimer's?

      Answer - I think your approach to try something different (see your comment below this answer) is the best way to help your mother's negative attitude as the progression of Alzheimer's continues.

  10. Tuesday March 20, 2012

    1. How do I prevent my husband with mid stage dementia from having a gun?

      Answer - Re: your comment about his blindness ... consider the first and final options--have your son talk with him re: passing on your husband's legacy and consider the final option. Again, caution is the key with the final option as you must make certain he has no way of getting ammo (from a neighbor, friend, other family member, etc...

    2. How do I prevent my husband with mid stage dementia from having a gun?

      Answer - Thank you for writing about preventing your husband with mid-stage dementia from having a gun. Given his rage and that he’s been on a 72-hour hold for a psychiatric evaluation, having guns in your home could make you his next victim.

  11. Monday March 19, 2012

    1. Can a patient's negative attitude speed up the progression of Alzheimer's?

      Answer - Yes, a patient’s negative attitude can speed up the progression of Alzheimer’s. However, it seems your mother is at a stage where she is declining regardless of your attempts to calm her with therapeutic lying; which, incidentally, is a good approach.

  12. Tuesday February 14, 2012

    1. Should I be taking parents out to "my world" activities?

      Answer - Salt, in that case, I will add a bittersweet response. Right now, you can "enjoy" what remains of your mom's cognition despite the moments of anger toward you. These are hard to bear and what makes caregivers heroes. Later, as Alzheimer's takes pieces of your mom, she will pass (down) through this stage and no longer be as aware...

  13. Monday February 13, 2012

    1. Should I be taking parents out to "my world" activities?

      Answer - Most of us usually enjoy a change of pace when we're able to manage it physically and comprehend what is going on.

  14. Tuesday January 31, 2012

    1. Should I choose husband or Dad with Alzheimer's, who is 120 miles away?

      Answer - You raise several issues here as to whether you should choose between your dad with Alzheimer’s or your husband.

  15. Monday January 30, 2012

    1. As her POA, how do I convince my cousin who I suspect is suffering from Alzheimer's to take a test for competency?

      Answer - There is no easy answer to convince your cousin to take a competency test for Alzheimer’s. It may take patience...a lot of patience!

    2. What should we do about our neighbor with Alzheimers who wanders?

      Answer - This is indeed a delicate situation that the son is either not aware of or not yet ready to accept (in denial). His father’s wandering also presents a safety issue and a potential reportable abuse issue—that of neglect.

  16. Friday December 02, 2011

    1. Suggestions please on what my Father-in-Law can do to help

      Answer - Marc, how wonderful that you are helping your wife care for your father-in-law.

  17. Thursday December 01, 2011

    1. Living 1700 miles away from Mom and Dad - how does one take care of parents long distance?

      Answer - Janet, being a hands-on caregiver is hard enough, but long-distance caregiving for parents with dementia brings its own challenges.

    2. Is using a third party a good way to resolve sibling conflicts over caregiving?

      Answer - Using a third party to resolve sibling conflict is often a good idea. Geriatric care managers can knowledgeably assess the situation and offer options.

  18. Friday November 18, 2011

    1. What is the best way to bring concerns to nursing home staff about their treatment of my dad who has dementia?

      Answer - There three critical steps to dealing with issues with nursing home care for a loved one with dementia or Alzheimer's.