Martha member since February 15, 2008
Bio
Hi. I'm a 43-year-old caregiver for my 75-year-old mother with dementia. Mom has multi-infarc dementia from tiny strokes over the years (a CT scan showed the damage), plus probably Alzheimer's. Three years ago I cared for her in my own home (I have a husband and two children), while I continued to work outside the home, but that proved too stressful for everyone. She agreed to move to an assisted-living facility across town, spent two and a half years there, then we moved her to another facility in town that specializes in Alzheimer's care and could deal with her incontinence and was a "secured" facility to prevent wandering. In two years when she runs out of her hard-earned savings I will have to find a good nursing home for her, something I dread because now, at least, she's too "with it" for a nursing home.
It's been a rocky, challenging three years for me, but I've found support in caregivers' support groups, counseling, and friends. I think I've learned how to slow down and enjoy being "in the moment" with Mom now when I visit, to appreciate the time I have left with her even when she can no longer remember what she just did five minutes ago, the details of her life, or our life together over the years. Luckily she still remembers my name, and her smile and laugh light up my day.
I look forward to sharing challenges and tips with other caregivers on Caring.com!
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Yes, I've heard...
in the discussionAnger at our parents --and guilt about feeling it.
[6 months ago]
