End-of-life

 I always had this idea that hospice was whom you called for the last few days when all else failed and you couldn't really manage any more.

Well I was blown away when I talked to a friend who turned out to work at a hospice and she really opened my eyes...

It's such an easy thing *to* say, not so easy to do.

The well of emotion runs deep and it can be scary to bring it to the top, to say with words what you've always hoped your actions said instead. I know that I treasure the times my father said, "...

If you're dealing with a parent in crisis right now, and you're having to prepare for the inevitable, how are you feeling? Need to let it out? Are you feeling relief that your parent will be out of pain? Relief for yourself? (And THAT'S OK.)  Scared...

My sister-in-law, who lost her mother at least twenty years ago still goes to grave site on Mother's Day to bring flowers and have a chat.  In the first few years following her passing it was a tearful event...

I was talking with a hospice worker the other day about keeping track of important paperwork like wills,  insurance, Retirement accounts, etc.

She made this really good point, that many people now have all sorts of accounts and email online and...

We lost my father-in-law six years ago and I would give just about anything to have one more day with him.  I'd share a long list of things I want to thank him for.  So in honor of Father's Day, here are a few of them.  I'd love to read everyone else's as well...

Where's the best place for those final days?

I like to think I could be at home, but it might not be a choice due to whatever the circumstances might be.

What are your experiences and wishes from you all out there? Hospice? Home? Hospital?

This would...

My mom is almost 90. She has a leaky heart valve, high blood pressure, glaucoma, but nothing that is imminently threatening her life. Four years ago, my dad was in a similar condition, and it took only four days to go from being hospitalized to being dead and gone...

Today two prominent figures took their own lives as they struggled with their terminal illness. Chantal Sebire from France gained national recognition as she took the country to court for her right to die with dignity...

My father insisted on being cremated - he had no need for his body to take up space in the ground, and he now has an urn in a niche in a mausoleum.

What were or are your parents' wishes? How can this be discussed beforehand?

The anniversary of my father's death got me to wondering...

How do you memorialize your lost parent?

We find we talk about him often, I share stories with my kids about the grandfather that only one of them really remembers, and we...

What are the laws for transporting your loved one in your own personal vehicle after they have died?

I was struck by something reading another post about Euthanasia which is that sometimes we miss chances to go with dignity and sometimes we don't.

Sarah, a very dear friend had a cervical cancer which went into remission, then a brain anuerism which was surgically fixed, then liver cancer...

When my father died, I saw things. Signs, I decided they were, messages from him that he was still around and watching and loving me.

Things like a '66 Ford truck, out of the blue. A particular song on the radio (Brother Iz's Over the Rainbow/Wonderful World...

My oldest had just turned six when her grandpa died. She remembers him. It was a strange time, trying to explain to her exactly where he went and why.

There are of course going to be different explanations given one's own belief systerm, and overall we settled on Heaven and angels...

This may sound morbid but, when my mom died we were asked by the funeral home what we wanted to do with her wedding ring. A quick survey among us three kids, and our dad, and we agreed to have it cremated and buried with her, finding peace in this.

As we face the end of a parent's life, sometimes we get very caught up in how life will be "after".

So, today, share with us a memory. Maybe your earliest memory of your mother or father, or one that represents their role in your life...