Too young for all of this! posted by Geldari @ 05:00 PM June 24, 2008

Geldari — Tue, 24 Jun 2008 17:00:34 -0000

We do live together, its just that until we are legally wed we are not a family of 2 we are roommates with unequal living contributions. Because of "legal family status" there are different guidelines for the poverty level. I think its all a bunch of hogwash, but THEY tell me its all right LOL.

As far as my Birthson comming to visit him. I placed my amazing child for adoption when he was born. We hang out quite often but there just isnt a way to get together without meeting halfway between our houses. financially or time constraints. His adoptive parents are amazing and extreemly flexible people but i just cant ask them to drive 5 hours with 2 little kids to spend a few hours playing. Gas money is just too tight. however just last night my bson emailed me and asked if he can email my fiance or IM him cuz he is cool. i said ok but only with parental supervision and he laughed and said "Duh, i'm 7 not 17. of course dad will be there. Mom wont cuz i wanna send him pictures of spiders". How cute is THAT!

Too young for all of this! posted by Lisa B @ 04:34 PM June 24, 2008

Lisa B — Tue, 24 Jun 2008 16:34:39 -0000

FIrst, welcome! I'm glad you found us. It definitely sounds like you are in a difficult situation with all the time and care you are giving to your fiance'. You sound like an amazing person and you can just see through your words how much you love him.

My husband and I like video games also but I agree that playing them every day would definitely cut into the "fun" factor. I assume you've also had your fill of movies and board games as well. Do you guys enjoy reading? I will keep brainstorming trying to think of other "house bound" activities and I'm sure others will post with ideas as well. As for your birthson, would it possible for you to bring him to your fiance' s home since it's hard for your fiance' come to him?

As for the SS, I am by no means an expert on this and I can only share my experience but when my mom was living with us, she applied for disability through social security and after a long process, was approved. However, after she moved back in with my dad (they were seperated for awhile), she not only immediately lost her benefits, they are now wanting her to pay back the money she had previously received while living with us. My parents are currently appealing this decision. So, in our case, it appears that her spouse's income did affect her benefits and eligibility. Like I said, I'm by no means an expert but I did want to caution you and have you make double sure that what the SS lady told you is true and that your finances won't affect his checks too much.

((HUGS)), best of luck to you! Please come back and upate us from time to time!

Lisa

Too young for all of this! posted by Geldari @ 10:13 PM June 18, 2008

Geldari — Wed, 18 Jun 2008 22:13:44 -0000

I am the primary caregiver for my fiance. We cant afford to get married because it would COMPLETELY mess up our finances for the pending social security. Though the lady at the SS office said AFTER he is approved and starts getting checks my finances wont affect the amount too much. He is diabetic with all the complications of a 75 year old man. It's SOOooo stressful and time comsuming and .. well just plain hard to do. Between the dietary needs, keeping track of 13 meds PLUS 2 kinds of insulin, attempting to get him out of the house once in a while, and trying to working to pay for fun stuff like rent and food.. it's mind numbing. Although we went to a Dr appt today to a new clinic and i was praised on being so well organized about all the varous info. That felt cool.

I dont know, i guess i just get frustrated because I turn 30 in three weeks and have been dealing with this for a couple of years now. I know its hard for him too because he misses out on so many social gatherings due to his lack of mobility. Video games are fun, every day for years? Not so much. Last time i went and saw my birthson he yelled at me because my fiance couldnt come. My birthson wanted to show off his new knowledge of cool snakes and cars but since he couldnt come I was deemed useless. (girls cant possibly be geeks in his brain.. hey he's seven... he will get better LOL)

Also trying to explain to friends, and even worse, social service people that "yes it really is THAT bad" and "no i am NOT making this up" is making me crazy. Heck, the lawyer i went to to gauge our chances about getting him on disability actually scolded me about being a Lolita dating an old man until I yelled "HE IS TWENTY-EIGHT". He is younger than me!

le sigh, I am rambling. I appologize. Thank you for listening / reading

Recent Posts in 'Too young for all of this!' | Caring.com

Too young for all of this! posted by Geldari @ 05:00 PM June 24, 2008

Too young for all of this! posted by Lisa B @ 04:34 PM June 24, 2008

Too young for all of this! posted by Geldari @ 10:13 PM June 18, 2008