separating elderly parents

I am an only child and my Dad remarried 23 years ago at the age of 69. He and his wife lived in his home with 24 hour care until my Dad started wandering. I could see that they were not receiving good care and I live 45 minutes away. My Dads wife's family rarely visited and were not concerned even though their mother has alzheimers. My Dad who has neropathy and falls often and  is  also sufffering from dementia. Several months ago I notified his stepchildren that I was planning to take my Dad home to live with me and as the Doctors suggested they should make long term plans for their Mom. Well that cause an hysterical reaction and now the lawyers are involved. A month ago I did pick up my dad when he disappeared for 45 minutes with two caregivers in the house.They continue to leave their mother in the house. Has anyone else had an experiences like this and how did they handle it. I feel terrible that they are separated but cannot care for both. I do not want to place him in a Nursing Home .Please Help . the stress is getting to me..