need to talk about it

Hi taxlady,

Welcome to Caring's groups.  I'm really glad you found us.  I'm hopeful you'll find some great support here.

Let me be the first to tell you that you're not alone.  In my uneducated opinion, siblings who turn a deaf ear to a parents' health issues don't want to face the truth.  We always hold our parents to the standard they once were - strong, in charge and quite capable of not only caring for themselves but their family too.  When they start to decline, it's hard to see.  It's funny that you posted this today because just last night my husband and I were lying in bed talking about my mom and how it was sad for me to see her physical limitations.  I even went as far as to ponder how I could help make things easier for her.  My husband's reaction?  Nada.  Nothing.  Zilch. 

I think I just wanted to hear, "it is hard." or "why don't you do XYZ to help?" or whatever.  I wanted anything but silence.  But I guess that's how he deals with it.  It's hard when siblings or spouses cope with this situation differently.  When his dad passed away I needed to talk and he needed not too.  We were fun to be around. 

My advice to you is to seek out a support group in your area.  I know it's the support of your siblings you're craving, but support in general would be helpful. You're definitely not alone.  Plus, I think you'll learn lots of great tips to help with the day-to-day.

*hugs* to you.  It really is difficult to watch our parents age. 

YOU really hit it on the nail when you said I look for support from my siblings. I have been looking for that all my life from them . Thank You for your reply > I believe I found this caring place very helpful. I just hope everyone will bare with me > I have so much angry build up in me and the hurt it may take me some time. YOu did help .I believe this place is going to help me You and everyone here -Taxlady

Awww, that's what we're here for!  To support each other, to vent, to cry, to laugh...it's all okay! 

Live is funny. It seems strange in a family that when we expect that siblings would come together in support of a parent, that is the very time they split ...Why I don't know. But the family dynamis that have developed since childhood seem to play out. Please know that you are not alone. You just have to listen to your heart and believe in yourself. Remember they may not be in a position to even know who they are or they may be jealous that you can and do care. I promise to keep you in my thoughts and prayers, You will learn plently from this experience.

Kate