Thanks Laurel! I'm glad things worked out for you to leave so soon! Which island are you visiting? I've been to Oahu, Maui, the big Island of Hawaii and Kaui. (Kona is my Hawaiian name for my real name, Donna. I'm not Hawaiian, but I love those islands and have visited there over 10 times.)
Thanks for your tips! She was not open to wearing headphones before, but I think my husband will have to put his foot down and make her use it. In fact, he uses his old headphones sometimes when he watches the big screen in the room next to hers. It is hard for me to point out what I have to cope with due to his mom, because I try to be the patient and understanding wife. I know it is hard for him, being her only relative left. It could have been one of my parents, after all. Somehow, the female has to do more with eldercare as I help her shower and since I do most of the cooking, cook her specific foods that she can eat. She does not have teeth, does not like to wear her dentures, so she can only eat certain foods. She only weighs 100 lbs. so we have to cook food she really likes. My husband does a lot of the other housework including all the dishes and laundry, so I can't complain, but I find myself really missing the lifestyle that we had 3 years ago. She is very stubborn and very set in her ways, which I hear is common for the elders. It's real tough as most caregivers who are the children, come to realize.
I did check in to outside caregivers, respite services and adult day care, but I need to re-visit that information. We have a part time caregiver come in just for 4 hours a week. Unfortunately, we can not afford more days and some of these other options. We purchased a larger home 2+ years ago, to get a floor plan suitable for a more frail senior which resulted in a mortgage payment over 3 times the size of our prior one. So, our funds are tight and we live in Northern CA where homes and cost of living are still high. Her small social security check goes towards all her meds and helps pay our utilitiy bills. She gets very cold and our PG & E bill can exceed $500 during the winter months. But yet she makes a bit too much for some free senior services. Okay...enough venting from me!
Laurel, have a great time in Hawaii! Check the weather reports and bring layers. Take a bunch of photos! Ask the hotel or conceirge for some ideas for seniors. Oahu has a lot of tourist attractions and you can ask for a wheelchair, should he get tired. If he has a handicap placard, bring it. Ask him if he would like to attend an authentic luau...the hotel can probably refer you to a good one. They also have various tours via vans/shuttles. I hope you can talk him into going to the beach and getting in or near the water. It is beautiful there! Aloha!!!
