Father In Law Issues Living/Financial posted by fdavid32 @ 05:01 PM August 21, 2008

fdavid32 — Thu, 21 Aug 2008 17:01:21 -0000

Thanks Lisa! Your input is well appreciated.

Yesterday, the Medi Cal facility said my father in law will be accepted into their place, whoo hooo! He is single, has no money (less than 2 grand in his bank) and makes about 1200 bucks from SS and his pension. Now, they say that they will take all his money, his share of cost is 885 (will get a 35 dollar allowance each month), but whats confusing is why isn't his share of cost 1200 dollars since thats how much he makes a month? What will happen to the difference? Medi Cal will pay for the rest which is like 4500 dollars or something like that. Also, since he is entering the facility in the middle of the month, who pays for that? I should have asked the admin while I was there, but it's difficult when you have so many emotions running that day. So, my father in law will be entering the home today and thats when the paperwork will start the admin stated. I have asked my wife not to sign anything because I dont want us liable for any of his bills. He still is very functional at this point, so he should be able to sign all his papers, correct? Does my wife have to sign any responsiblity? Anyways, I will keep you all updated. Thank you.

Father In Law Issues Living/Financial posted by Lisa B @ 02:16 AM August 21, 2008

Lisa B — Thu, 21 Aug 2008 02:16:51 -0000

Thanks for coming back to update us! How did it go at the home yesterday- was he accepted? I talked with one of Caring's editors/experts about the situation you described in your very first post and here's what he had to say:

"1. Medi-Cal may pay for assisted living, but many assisted living facilities do not accept Medi-Cal residents. And since he has no other assets, non-Medi-Cal assisted living places will not take him unless the family agrees to pay. So, sounds like he needs Medi-Cal to pay for his assisted living, which means the choice of assisted living facility is limited.
2. If the FIL qualifies for Medi-Cal (which it sounds like he will), the question of which insurance will pay first may not quite as cut-and-dried as Missy suggests. Some retirement health coverage becomes secondary to Medicare/Medicaid -- it all depends on the terms of the retirement package health care. The reader should check with Blue Cross and/or the benefits office at the previous employer to find out what the exact terms are of the coverage re Medicare/Medi-Cal. Either way, though, it's a good idea to hang on to the private insurance unless there are premiums he can't afford.
3. As to the bills, the family should check with a bankruptcy lawyer. If he has no assets anyway, and nothing to leave in an estate, it might not be worthwhile filing for bankruptcy. "

I hope this helps a bit!

Lisa

Share your gift ideas for Mother's Day! posted by Lisa B @ 04:21 PM August 19, 2008

Lisa B — Tue, 19 Aug 2008 16:21:25 -0000

Hi Kate,

I wasn't the one who came up with the "family history" video but I did find a few websites for companies that do these kinds of gifts/projects :

http://www.familylegacyvideo.com/ [familylegacyvideo.com]

http://familytreevideo.com/ [familytreevideo.com] - this one says "family tree" but they also offer voice-overs for more of a storytelling effect

http://www.generationsremembered.com/family_history_oral.htm [generationsremembered.com]

I can't personally vouch for any of these since I haven't purchased from them but I absolutely love the idea and I'm bookmarking them for a future-gift idea.

Good luck!

Lisa

Father In Law Issues Living/Financial posted by fdavid32 @ 04:09 PM August 19, 2008

fdavid32 — Tue, 19 Aug 2008 16:09:58 -0000

Thank you for both of your responses, they are very helpful. We are going to take my father in law to the home tomorrow and hopefully they will accept him even with his financial troubles. We will keep his BS/BC insurance because it is no cost to him and its to his benefit. I will keep you all posted on his progress. Also, as for his financial situation, I spoke to a lawyer and she said the creditors are just out of luck once he enters the Medical program and is in the home. Thats one aspect of his situation we no longer have to worry about.

Father In Law Issues Living/Financial posted by Lisa B @ 03:57 PM August 19, 2008

Lisa B — Tue, 19 Aug 2008 15:57:58 -0000

Hi, and welcome. I am so sorry to hear of your father in law's Alzheimer's and financial problems. Financial problems alone are extremely stressful and adding other complications to it makes things tough.

Like Missy said, I would definitely keep the BCBS insurance policy, especially if he is not having to pay a monthly premium on it. If MediCal will cover his assisted living expenses, they should take him, regardless of his private financial situation. I would definitely check individually with each assisted living facility you are considering to verify that, however.

Again, welcome, and please come back anytime to post updates,questions, or even a vent. I know we have some members around with more expertise in financial matters than I do and I'm sure they'll have some great advice to share.

Father In Law Issues Living/Financial posted by Missy @ 11:39 PM August 18, 2008

Missy — Mon, 18 Aug 2008 23:39:51 -0000

Hi Fred,

Welcome to Caring's community. I'm really glad you posted.

First, let me say that I'm sorry your father-in-law (FIL) is dealing with Alzheimer's and this financial mess. I'm also sorry your wife has UC. I've got a family member with it as well and my heart goes out to her and you. It can be miserable.

I'm going to do some talking, but you'll need to verify it all as I do not live in CA. It is my understanding that MediCal is California's Medicaid program. That should pay for your FIL's assisted living expenses. His Blue Cross/Blue Shield (BCBS) is most like a health insurance policy and will not pay for costs associated with the assisted living room and board. What it likely covers is doctor visits, tests, procedures and prescriptions. When he incurs those costs the BCBS will pay first and MediCal second.

My advice is to NOT give up his second (BCBS) insurance. My understanding is that if you do that, he will not ever be eligible to get that back. I know this sounds like a long shot, but if he is never deemed ineligible for MediCal, he would be without any health insurance, unless, of course, he's eligible for Medicare. Yet still, private insurance like BCBS often has better coverage than Medicare. I'd hold on to that. Does he have to pay a monthly premium for it or is it at no cost to him?

I'm not sure where to start with sorting out his financial issues. Have you thought about contacting a financial planner for assistance? I know our bank has them and they provide a free service. You may also want to talk to a lawyer. Bankruptcy may be the way to go, but I'm not knowledgeable about it enough to say one way or another.

Please keep us updated. And I'm hopeful others will have some great advice.

Father In Law Issues Living/Financial posted by fdavid32 @ 06:44 PM August 18, 2008

fdavid32 — Mon, 18 Aug 2008 18:44:58 -0000

Hello,

Hope everyone is doing well, I've got a couple of questions for the group.

1. My father in law has alzheimer's and needs to get assisted care living. Once we put him in a home, does he give up his 2nd insurance? I believe he has lifetime benefits from his previous company with blue shield/blue cross. Does he then only use Medi Cal?

2. Also, he gambled away all his monies in the stock market, ran up his credit cards to like 50,000, owes thousands of dollars to his immediate family, and his only income is social security (1000 a month) and his pension (200 hundred dollars a month). He has no other assets. How do we even start to take care of this mess? Does he claim bankruptcy? Will the assisted care living place take him even with the mess he has created?

Can we start there, I know I will have some other questions. My wife has a condition called uclerative colitis and cannot deal with the stress of taking care of her dad. I'm doing my best to help her.

Thank you.

Fred

Share your gift ideas for Mother's Day! posted by Bubbles @ 05:03 PM August 16, 2008

Bubbles — Sat, 16 Aug 2008 17:03:42 -0000

Would someone share thewebsite where they were able to purchase the recordinfg of history, interview etc.

Kate

Mother in Assisted Living posted by Lisa B @ 02:39 PM August 12, 2008

Lisa B — Tue, 12 Aug 2008 14:39:35 -0000

Hi sbuddd,

First, welcome! I am going to ditto was Missy said, it sounds like it might be time to find a different assisted living center. If your mother needs a 24/7 sitter even at the living center, then the facility is obiviously not meeting her needs. I hope you can find a GCM in your area like Jeannie suggested, there has got to be a better solution for you and your mom. I cannot imagine having to pay over 10,000 a month :( .

I'll be keeping your family in my thoughts and prayers! Please keep us updated.

Mother in Assisted Living posted by Jeannie-caremanager @ 10:16 PM August 11, 2008

Jeannie-caremanager — Mon, 11 Aug 2008 22:16:56 -0000

Hi sbudd,

I would recommend that you consider hiring a Geriatric Care Manager (GCM) to assist you in evaluating your mother's needs, options and resources. This would provide you with an unbiased opinion from a professional and could take place in your mother's home. The National Association of Professional Geriatric Care Managers website, www.caremanager.org [caremanager.org] can assist you in locating a care manager in your area.

Jeannie

Mother in Assisted Living posted by Missy @ 07:17 PM August 11, 2008

Missy — Mon, 11 Aug 2008 19:17:28 -0000

Hi sbudd,

Welcome to Caring's groups. I'm glad you found us and posted!

I'm so sorry your mom is having some issues. I'm wondering what in the world went on when she felt something "snap". How scary for her.

Regardless, if after an evaluation, it's determined that she has permanent cognitive impairments, you may want to seriously consider other living arrangements for her. There are assisted living facilities, nursing homes and continuing care retirement communities that have Alzheimer's units. Don't let the name fool you, though. In many facilities, your mom wouldn't need an official Alzheimer's diagnosis to qualify. The units just have extra security measures and sometimes higher staff to resident ratios to help deal with cognitive impairment. Often doors are locked and residents wear special responders that will alert the staff when he/she has crossed a barrier within the facility to indicate he or she is wandering.

I don't know the difference in cost between the care your mom is receiving now and what I'm suggesting. I feel pretty certain, though, that it will be quite a bit cheaper. $10,000 a month for a sitter sounds sky high to me. It seems like there is a better solution out there for you and your family.

Please keep us updated. I'll be anxious to hear what the neurologist says.

Mother in Assisted Living posted by sbudd @ 02:20 PM August 11, 2008

sbudd — Mon, 11 Aug 2008 14:20:21 -0000

My Mother has been in an assisted living center for 3 months and last week on her way to lunch, she said something just "snapped." All of a sudden, she couldn't find her way to the dining room. She is diabetic and has macular degeneration so vision was already a problem. Her vision got substantially worse. Her vision has come back a little, but she's still confused. They found her trying to go out her patio door - looking for her cereal in the kitchen. The one night we didn't have a sitter with her, she was found knocking on her neighbor's door in the middle of the night. She is going to the neurologist on Wednesday to view the ultra sound the did on her carotid artery. We've had a sitter with her for 24/7 since last Monday. If this is a permanent condition, she will not be able to continue the 24/7 sitter. It would cost around $10,000 a month just for the sitter. Does any one have any ideas? I have 1 brother & 1 sister and we all work.

placing a parent in a nursing home. posted by bevel @ 01:07 PM August 04, 2008

bevel — Mon, 04 Aug 2008 13:07:52 -0000

Wow, I feel your pains....I have struggled over what's best for my mom as well. She is in great shape physically though, with her it's mostly mentally. I have entertained the thought and then dismissed the thought with other options. My mom simply detests and vows never to set foot in a nursing home.

In your case it's a bit different ,your step-dad wants to go but the family seems against it. If you ever come down to the actually considering putting him in a nsg. home, it might be much easier to do so knowing that's his wish. However, as far as the guilt part goes ask yourselves if you had a desperate wish...would you want it honored or not. With dad though, I'm also wondering is he just telling you guys that he prefers a nsg. home out of all his angers/frustrations and does he truly mean it?

Regardless, this is a big decision and should be handled with care. If this helps at all...let me share a bit of my experience of working as a patient care assistant in the nursing home. I've had many sane elderly people tell me that they were contented at the nusrsing home because they didn't want to be a burden on their family. However most of these patients were also patients who recieve frequent visitis from their concerned family members and felt they could air or voice any problems to their family members who in turn were able to adress the problems/concerns with the director of nursing or the administrator.

In my opinion the key to placing your parents in the nursing homes is "very frequent visits" and also doing the "pop-up visits". This way that patient (mentally) tends to get labeled on the nsg. home VIP(treat the patient with quality care) list my many personnell, if you know what I mean. Not to say this is true in all nsg. homes...just bare in mind that this is what I've noticed based on MY experiences. I often times felt sorry for the elderly patients who had no families or seldom recieve visitors, also the ones who could not communicate thier wishes or concerns at all. Some families hire sitters or again as stated before do the freq. visits and the home works out as a great option.

I always tried to make up for the less fortunate ones by treating them with extra tender loving care. I can't say that the feeling was as mutual with others. As with anything in life their are the good and the not so good....just being frank. Also, trust me those decubitis (bed-sores) are nothing to play with and can transit to other stages. Make sure your dad is getting the best of medical attention for those sores and it's great that you guys are keeping him turned/mobile in bed.

If your dad is yet at home and things "pan" out ....I hope that a media is met whereas dad and the family both are able to get along fine. You could also consider hiring a private sitter that does respite care to relieve the family members and give them a break. Have the sitter do only part time or flexible "crucial" hours if the family can't afford a big expense. Home health aides may even be covered thru. his medi. insurance....check it out if you haven't already. Well, that's it and I hope this helps a bit and God Bless.

Financial Pros and Cons of living with parents posted by Missy @ 12:56 AM August 03, 2008

Missy — Sun, 03 Aug 2008 00:56:19 -0000

Hello,

The first thing that comes to mind is renting for awhile. I know it sounds like a huge hassle, especially since I'm sure the end goal is to own again. But I wonder if the financial stress of owning will outweigh the hassle in possibly moving twice.

Good luck!

Financial Pros and Cons of living with parents posted by Anonymous @ 11:12 PM August 02, 2008

Anonymous — Sat, 02 Aug 2008 23:12:07 -0000

My sister and her husband bought a new home with my parents, they both put in money for the down payment, my sister and her husband pay all the monthly payments (mortgage, gas, electric, phone, taxes, insurance). My parents do not have a lot of money, with social security they have a small savings and they spend most of their money on prescriptions. Currently they are physically mobile and self sufficient. Unfortunately, with the economy so bad, my sister lost her job and they are now all in financial trouble. I will be helping out financially, but I can not make up the difference in her salary.

They have to make a change into a less expensive situation, does anyone have pros and cons of various housing arrangements? E.g. a duplex or two family owned by my sister and her husband and "rented" to my parents or a dual ownership situation or other suggestions?

Obviously, everything about this is sensitive.

Share your gift ideas for Mother's Day! posted by Lisa B @ 06:29 PM July 22, 2008

Lisa B — Tue, 22 Jul 2008 18:29:41 -0000

I LOVE the idea/reminder to include captions! I always forget to do that too and it adds such a personal touch!

Welcome to Living Arrangements ! posted by Lisa B @ 05:48 PM July 22, 2008

Lisa B — Tue, 22 Jul 2008 17:48:36 -0000

Wow, Taura! I am really amazed and impressed with all that you and your husband have done! We considered insulating our garage at one point also, due to pure lack of space. You guys have done that and so much more! I'm sure your parents and aunt really appreciate having their "own" space- kudos to you! Thanks for coming by and sharing your story. :)

Lisa

Share your gift ideas for Mother's Day! posted by Missy @ 12:20 PM July 16, 2008

Missy — Wed, 16 Jul 2008 12:20:47 -0000

Great suggestion, Marney! What's especially important is the captions and that's one I never thought to do!

Welcome to Living Arrangements ! posted by Taura_Krise @ 10:53 PM July 15, 2008

Taura_Krise — Tue, 15 Jul 2008 22:53:16 -0000

Hello, everyone! I just thought I'd share my "living arrangements" situation with everyone.

First, a little background: I am an only child (married with no children), and am primary caregiver to my 90 year-old dad, 85 year-old mom and 80 year-old developmentally disabled aunt.

My mother is very alert and pretty mentally clear for her age. She is physically healthy but is VERY stressed out. Recently (over the last year or so) she is beginning to show very early signs of dementia. (We have a Dr. Appt. next week.)

My father is sharp as a tack, but has a lot of medical issues. He is currently living with recently-diagnosed bladder cancer. He has chosen (with my mom and I supporting his decision) to NOT undergo any heroic surgeries (bladder removal, etc) due to his age. He will, instead, "live with the cancer" in the hope that he will not be too terribly uncomfortable in the end.

Also, my mom took on the responsibility of primary caregiver to her develpomentally disabled sister over 45 years ago. Now, my mom is physically unable to perform the tasks required of her in that role ... and, at 85, who would want her to?! My aunt, although unable to perform any advanced tasks (cooking, dressing, showering, etc) is very physically healthy. She needs guidance, assistance and supervision on a 24/7 basis.

=====

Living arrangements:

Last year, in January, we had a series of family discussions about "what happens next?" when everyone gets older, more ill and more unable to care for themselves. After MANY discussions (a few of them quite heated!), we agreed as a family that we would prefer that all (3) "parents" stay in their current environment, the family home. This, of course, came after quite a few visits to assisted living facilities ... which, one by one, we're rejected as an option, for various reasons.

So, in July 2007, we began a remodeling project in my parent's single-story home. They stayed with my husband and I in our 2-bedroom, 2-story townhouse for 5 months while the heavy construction took place. Whew! That was tough! My dad slept on our VERY comfy couch ... he had the best deal, I think! He was close to the fridge and close to a bathroom. What more could a guy want?! My mom and aunt (because of my aunt's disability) slept together in our master bedroom. My husband and I slept on a not-very-comfy futon in our shared office. Let me just say it's a REALLY good thing that we all get along! =o) The quarters were cramped, and, not having ever lived anywhere else other than the family home for 45 years, my parents were real troopers!

Our goal with the remodeling project was to create 2 seperate living areas that would allow everyone a small measure of privacy. We also wanted to spend as little money as possible on the remodel, because the goal was also to pay it off QUICKLY (within 3 years)! This way, if my parents needed ever-increasing care, I would be able to quit my job and devote myself full-time to their care without any of us feeling a financial pinch ... and without my husband feeling any of the burden of providing intimate care to my family.

Although it was heartbreaking for my mom, after doing the financial calculations, we decided that the most cost-effective method of giving everyone enough breathing room was to convert the existing "formal living and formal dining room" (covered in plastic and never used!) in to a bedroom and bathroom. Also, the 2-car garage was insulated, the floor was raised and insulated, and is now fit for use as a small sitting room / dining area / kitchenette / laundry room for my husband and I.

We were also able to do some creative re-decorating, and we moved my parent's "fancy" furniture in to the main portion of the house and re-cycled the "old" stuff for use in our new "kitchenette / sitting room" area. Now, my mom is enjoying her beautiful furniture every day and is actually quite thrilled with her "new home"!

Of course, my husband and I had our own place and years of accumulated "stuff" to deal with. We were also acutely aware of the fact that all of our "stuff" was simply that! We had very little problem with donating virtually ALL of our furniture and miscellaneous stuff to charity. We even had a few days of "give it to the neighbors!" where we would move a TON of stuff outside to the driveway with a big 'FREE' sign and watch it all walk away! Of course, I was a TEENSY bit pained to be giving away some favorite items, half of my library (ouch!) or some of my rather expensive antiques, but, in a strange way, it was also liberating!

So, we're all under one roof now. The parents don't really need us here 24/7 ... YET. But, we're just a walk down the hallway should they need us for anything. Also, this arrangement has allowed us some "breathing room" and an opportunity to PLAN in advance for a time when things will surely get more difficult. I'm still working full-time, as is my husband. He and I are paying off the $80,000 remodeling expense as quickly as possible. This way, when I need to quit my job and switch gears, we wil have no financial obligations aside from food and utilities, which my husband will more than be able to handle. This will also allow my husband and I to continue to put money in our savings account and will ensure that my parents personal money is more than enough for them to live out the rest of their lives, without the need for assisted living expenses and the like. This is the plan, anyway!

We all officially moved in in January of 2008, and we're all quite happy! Of course, now that I'm here, there are inevitably many more things that need attention, simply because I am so convenient! But, I really don't mind. I am trying my very best to give my parents the unconditional love and support that they always gave me. And, of course, my husband is a SAINT! We're childless by choice, but, we can see that the road ahead could very well become exhausting!

Anyway ... that's how we're doing it! Comments / suggestions welcome!

Share your gift ideas for Mother's Day! posted by Marney @ 09:27 PM July 15, 2008

Marney — Tue, 15 Jul 2008 21:27:00 -0000

Gifts can be a challenge, when you're trying to please a person with limited space and/or limited abilities. I suggest photographs. If you can keep them visible in frames, that's great. But if your parent has no room for framed pictures, put them in a book. I've used a 3-ring binder with plastic pocket pages (try office supply stores) for 8.5x11" and 4x6" photos. Your parent can page through the pictures alone, or you can look at them together and talk about the people and places that are (or were) important. Also, you can use online photo processing services to create books and calendars. Ask your relatives to send you digital photos throughout the year, then make a calendar for the next year with all the people that your parent loves. The photo captions can be reminders of people's names or other information that your parent may have forgotten.

placing a parent in a nursing home. posted by butterfly @ 08:46 PM July 14, 2008

butterfly — Mon, 14 Jul 2008 20:46:24 -0000

Thats a good idea, to ask him what he wants. I mean all of us together. I don't think any of us has actually asked him point blank. I have tried to talk to him, I knew this was coming with no care, I carefully asked the questions what will you do if no one can be found? He got mad at me, then he cried. I told him we did not want to toss him in a nursing home and forget him, we did not work so hard to get him to this point to throw him out. I think the nursing home that he was in knew, they loved him, But the admissions lady told me, everyone deserves the right to go home and fail, so she knew. I wondered at the time I was against him coming home, I didn't think we were prepared for all that was to come, another sister shared those feelings. But two said they will fill the gaps when the care giver wasn't there. Bad thing to say, I find the caregivers are not there on their scheduled times very ;often. We all work. We all have children. None of us are rich. None of can afford to make our homes handycapped equipted. his home is, we had it all made handicapped for him, ramp, bathroom, door sills, One of my sisters got a grant for 10.000.00 so it paid for it. WE can't find anyone willing to live with him. He has had two different people there, one said she couldn't handle it anymore, to much, and the other one is just now leaving she can't take it, he kicked out her boyfriend, told her to make a choice him or the boyfriend so guess who she picked. I buy between 120.00 and 160.00 dollars worth of groceries every two week for him, my husband doesn't know. they whold time he was in the nursing home, I was the one who drove, used my car my gas, I bought candy and little things for him every week about a hundred a week I spent. I am exhausted, I am done I have no ;more. two of my sisters don't have decent cars to make the trip so I drove. Had a van and there were 7 of us who went every week. He is very demanding of us, I know he tries not to,So I took a tour of a home near me five minutes from me, good reviews on it, I really liked it I put his name on a list, To me its a safty issue, he is blind, can't walk, has a cathiter, and has no control on his pooping. He had a stage four bed sore, so that is a potential disaster waiting to happen, so he must be turned at night three or four times so someone has to live with him, I guess one of us could divorce, leave our jobs and tell our kids goodbye, but I don't think that fair. So we live with guilt, remorse and wonder if god will punish us when we get elderly.

placing a parent in a nursing home. posted by judyb @ 04:51 PM July 14, 2008

judyb — Mon, 14 Jul 2008 16:51:23 -0000

If this is about your dad and his needs - is there a way for him to get back into the nursing home he loved? It is rare that people love the nursing home they are in - and if he is comfortable with each sibling making the trip every couple of weeks so he has visitors weekly - would it be best for him? He may be feeling as much a prisoner in his own home as the family is a prisoner to his care needs, bad for everybody and then getting along with each other isn't as easy either when no one is happy. Have you tried a family sit-down with him and find out what he really wants to do?

placing a parent in a nursing home. posted by Anonymous @ 08:52 PM July 13, 2008

Anonymous — Sun, 13 Jul 2008 20:52:54 -0000

I have so desperately needed someone to talk to for over a year now. My dad had a devestating anyerism, left him paralized, partially blind, needing basically 24 hour care. His mind is great he is 77

So he is a tad forgetful, there are four daughters in all I am the stepdaughter the others are all his blood daughters, he has always treated me as his own and my sisters all treat me the same. Two of thought he should of stayed in a nursing home, me being one of them, his needs are great, two were like, We will do what ever it takes, and say what ever it takes to get him home, well he is home, and now the two who were going to be the "back up" are finding back up is not what they thought, which I knew, life is not perfect there are to many what ifs, and they have happened. Choices for care sucks, and there is not enough people, money or time to attend to his needs. he needs 24 hour care, and it is just not there.

No one wants to live with him and quite frankly he is picky he has chased out two already. next week is it, the last of them leave, they can't take it, he is to nit picky, to particular. as most elderly are, he wants it his way, thinks everyone is stealing, and constantly compares his care at home to the nursing home care he got, he loved it there, he loved the people and they in turn loved him, it truly was a wonderful place draw back was it was 3 hours one way to see him very long and tiring but we made the trip faithfully every week while he was there. I have tried to talk to him I told him life is wonderful, and he has tried to go back to what was, in his home and he can't, he could walk and see then now he can't I told him it was time for a new and wonderful life, he is very social person, he lives way off on a dirt road with little company. Help.

hiring home health caregivers posted by Kona @ 08:35 PM July 09, 2008

Kona — Wed, 09 Jul 2008 20:35:05 -0000

Hi Beekid,

I live in Northern CA, so I found the Council on Aging, Silicon Valley, at a company health fair. They had several things for caregiver resources and they gave me a booklet of local caregiving agencies in my area. The information was very helpful, it gave me their addresses, web sites, Director names/phone #s, price ranges and duties that their caregivers perform. I selected my top 3 due to hourly rates, location and web site info. I then checked the Better Business Bureau on all 3 and did some googling on line. I spoke to one Director who was very helpful, patient and understanding. She asked me tons of questions about my 87 yr. old Mother-in-law that we took in over 2 years ago, who now needs some more assistane when we are at work. She set me up with a couple caregivers to interview and meet with all of us. I immediately liked one gal more and she was also a CNA with excellent references. We had her for a few months and then she had to go back to Africa for a long period, so we interviewed another gal the agency referred. She was also wonderful and has been working out well for the past few months. She is also a CNA, does more than she is supposed to do and we are very happy with her. Some people tell me that her rate is very reasonable ($20 per hr.) for what she does and her qualifications, so I guess we got real lucky!! Check around, it does take time, but it is well worth it. I wanted someone who is trustworthy, patient and kind to Agnes. Now, I'm just trying to talk Agnes in to increasing her hours, but she is reluctant to pay her for another day. (We pay for one day right now, and she assumed we would pay for the 2nd day, but I explained to her that she has the money and she should spend it to make herself more comfortable, plus it makes life a bit easier for me...less showers to give her and etc.) So now we just have the challenge to convince her she should use her money that is just piling up and have the caregiver come over an extra day each week....

What are your living arrangements? posted by Bonbask @ 04:13 PM July 09, 2008

Bonbask — Wed, 09 Jul 2008 16:13:05 -0000

I was living in an apartment and my father in condo, when i decided he needed care. I had him sell his condo and I bought a three bedroom house. i have what is called the split plan. I have the master bedroom on one side of the house which I use. I then turned the other two rooms on the other side of the house for him. He has his own bedroom, den and bathroom. It has worked out well for us. We have lived together for about 10 years...

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Mother in Assisted Living posted by Lisa B @ 02:39 PM August 12, 2008

Mother in Assisted Living posted by Jeannie-caremanager @ 10:16 PM August 11, 2008

Mother in Assisted Living posted by Missy @ 07:17 PM August 11, 2008

Mother in Assisted Living posted by sbudd @ 02:20 PM August 11, 2008

placing a parent in a nursing home. posted by bevel @ 01:07 PM August 04, 2008

Financial Pros and Cons of living with parents posted by Missy @ 12:56 AM August 03, 2008

Financial Pros and Cons of living with parents posted by Anonymous @ 11:12 PM August 02, 2008

Share your gift ideas for Mother's Day! posted by Lisa B @ 06:29 PM July 22, 2008

Welcome to Living Arrangements ! posted by Lisa B @ 05:48 PM July 22, 2008

Share your gift ideas for Mother's Day! posted by Missy @ 12:20 PM July 16, 2008

Welcome to Living Arrangements ! posted by Taura_Krise @ 10:53 PM July 15, 2008

Share your gift ideas for Mother's Day! posted by Marney @ 09:27 PM July 15, 2008

placing a parent in a nursing home. posted by butterfly @ 08:46 PM July 14, 2008

placing a parent in a nursing home. posted by judyb @ 04:51 PM July 14, 2008

placing a parent in a nursing home. posted by Anonymous @ 08:52 PM July 13, 2008

hiring home health caregivers posted by Kona @ 08:35 PM July 09, 2008

What are your living arrangements? posted by Bonbask @ 04:13 PM July 09, 2008