What are your living arrangements? posted by Snooky @ 03:56 PM November 04, 2008

Snooky — Tue, 04 Nov 2008 15:56:43 -0000

I went through a divorce last winter so I moved in with my 89 year old mother. In August I decided to buy my own home and she wanted to come with me. I was glad to have her come since I knew that she could no longer be alone all the time. I bought a three bedroom home and we made these arrangements. She could have her pick of the bedroom she wanted. She chose the middle sized room for her bedroom so I took the large bedroom. I took the 3rd bedroom and made it into a sitting room/parlor for my mother. We put her couch, her recliner, her tv and some of her other furniture in it. We decorated the walls with her pictures and things that she had in her home. This has helped to give each of us some space where we both can be alone or else we can spend time together. She is legally blind and listens to books on tape from the blind library. This room gives her privacy and she has her "things" around her that make her feel like she is home. So far, it has worked out wonderful for both of us.

What are your living arrangements? posted by Lisa B @ 03:00 AM October 17, 2008

Lisa B — Fri, 17 Oct 2008 03:00:33 -0000

That is wonderful, Bonbask! I like the idea of having a house with a split plan. That's definitely something to consider when we purchase our next house. I had to chuckle when you mentioned him saying the same things over and over- that absolutely drives me nuts too! :)

What are your living arrangements? posted by Bonbask @ 07:08 PM October 15, 2008

Bonbask — Wed, 15 Oct 2008 19:08:14 -0000

I can not say it is perfect as it has curtailed my life, but I would do it again. He is a good person and if he would just stop saying the same thing over and over, it would not be so bad. I do sometimes loose my temper, but it is not often. I also have arranged my life so I can handle this. I have never married and do not have children so it is not as bad as it would be for someone who has a family also to take care of. I also have a little bit of help from my sister who lives close by and will take him to Dr. Apts for me since I work full time and she does not.

What are your living arrangements? posted by AuntieM @ 05:32 PM October 15, 2008

AuntieM — Wed, 15 Oct 2008 17:32:19 -0000

Cindy57 You and your family are awesome! And in my limited experience not the norm.

Now maybe you have glossed over the resentment of lives interrupted? Or maybe I just know negative people. Including my husband,.

What are your living arrangements? posted by Bonbask @ 04:13 PM July 09, 2008

Bonbask — Wed, 09 Jul 2008 16:13:05 -0000

I was living in an apartment and my father in condo, when i decided he needed care. I had him sell his condo and I bought a three bedroom house. i have what is called the split plan. I have the master bedroom on one side of the house which I use. I then turned the other two rooms on the other side of the house for him. He has his own bedroom, den and bathroom. It has worked out well for us. We have lived together for about 10 years...

What are your living arrangements? posted by Bell star @ 12:09 PM June 19, 2008

Bell star — Thu, 19 Jun 2008 12:09:07 -0000

Kudos to all of you who have taken the big step to care for your loved ones in your home. I've seen all types of living scenarios. I think the most important thing is - Do what works. That's it. Don't worry what others think. Adjust what you would have thought before this. Just do what works.

I lived in my family room for two years while recovering from a life-changing 'event.' If you have the money to make changes, do so. But if not, make do. I think it is more important to that person that you are taking them in, rather than that they get their own 'in-law' apartment or their own bedroom. I think we take space for granted in our society. If you look at other cultures in the world, multiple generations share the home and bedrooms. Give yourself permission (and a pat on the back) to do what works.

What are your living arrangements? posted by Cindy57 @ 03:07 PM May 24, 2008

Cindy57 — Sat, 24 May 2008 15:07:05 -0000

Initially we refinished our lower level to be an apartment with a kitchen, 2 bedrooms, a bathroom, living room and laundry room for my grandparents..My grandfather had cancer and was in the hospital and my grandmother took one of the kids rooms while we spent our weekends for almost a year building the apartment for them..My grandfather died of cancer and so it was just my grandmother and she loved her apartment..She stayed there for years until her health became so bad that we had to move her upstairs again into our master bedroom and change the bathroom so that I could easily get her in the shower to bathe her daily..

She lived in the master bedroom for quite a few years and we moved into the next largest bedroom..

It was a great set-up because she had her own bathroom and we had a lift chair for her to sit in and watch TV in her room..

For a while we actually had grandma, our 2 kids, my sister, a granddaughter and a son-in-law all living with us at the same time..Full house was an under statement...lol

The bills were high but both my sister and my grandma, on an attorneys advise payed us $100. a month..I took grandmas money and put it in a seperate acct in case she would need it later..

I eventually paid part of my grandfathers medical bills with it because the small amount of social security she got wouldn't cover the high bills from his treatments..

My kids grew up with their great grandmother living with us so to them it was a normal thing..

She would play games with them and they loved having her there..

When she got really bad I had to quit my job because she couldn't stay alone and that was a big transition for us to get used to paying all the bills on only one salary..

Grandma died last Sept and its so strange not having her with us.. I miss her so much but it was her time to go and she is in a better place now...

What are your living arrangements? posted by Lisa B @ 01:51 PM April 04, 2008

Lisa B — Fri, 04 Apr 2008 13:51:55 -0000

Wow, you're right- those are some major changes! Any kind of move is stressful and even more so when it results in a rise in mortgage payments. I can definitely relate to the tripling of the utilities bill- that was something I was unprepared for. I didn't realize how much of an impact just one person would have on the bills!

I'm glad your husband has his own T.V. room- sharing a remote with someone else is NOT fun. How are you coping with the TV situation? Do you usually just watch whatever your husband does or are you not a big tv person to begin with?

Lisa

What are your living arrangements? posted by M.T. @ 10:00 PM March 27, 2008

M.T. — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 22:00:59 -0000

We had to make HUGE changes. My husband and I sold our small condo and had to buy another house (we had sold our big house 5 years before). We bought a 3 bedroom home, My Dad can't nogotiate the stairs,so, we made the dining room his bedroom. We are planning in putting up doors in the near future. We wre lucky that the house has a bath with a shower just a few steps away. One of the bedrooms upstairs my husband uses as his private T.V. room (so he doesn't have to fight with Dad over the remote). We have doubled our mortgage payments and more than tripled our utilities and food bill. It's kind of kind of scarey in this economy.

What are your living arrangements? posted by Lisa B @ 02:45 PM February 29, 2008

Lisa B — Fri, 29 Feb 2008 14:45:21 -0000

How did you fit your parent(s) into your home, logistics wise? When my mom moved in with us, it was difficult because we did have an extra room for her to call her own. She literally slept in my oldest son's lower bunk and he slept in the top ! I felt so bad for him for suddenly not having his room to himself anymore but he really took it like a champ. I also felt bad for her because I know how important having your own "space" is and she didn't really have a spot in our house that was just "hers". We would have loved to have moved into a different house that had an extra bedroom for her but finances just didn't allow it.

How did you make room for an extra person in your home? Did you already have a guest room available? Or did you have to make modifications to your home such as turning a basement or a garage into a bedroom? Or did you have to do something like we did and have your parent splitting a room with someone else?