My grandmother (Dad's mom) is an 87 year old widow in good physical & mental health. My 3 aunts (Grandma's daughters) want Grandma to move in with my parents. Parents, Grandma & I live in same town. Aunts live cross country. Grandma says she will never leave her home. Aunts want Dad to start sneaking Grandma's stuff into my Dad's house over time. After awhile Aunts want Dad to say to Grandma "Oops all your stuff is at my house. You just have to start sleeping at my house."
Dad wants to support Grandma's decision to age at home but knows it may not be possible forever so he doesn't want to tell his sisters "no" and definately doesn't want to tell his mom the plan. Mom doesn't want Grandma to move in for her own reasons and because Grandma doesn't want to but is discounted because she is not a blood relative even though she will be alone with Grandma all day while doing all the work my Dad is at work. I alone think this is outrageous and illegal. They say it is not illegal b/c Dad has power of attorney. I want to tell Grandma the plan so she will confront Aunts. Any ideas? I don't see any way out of this mess without betraying Grandma or destroying ties with my Aunts. I don't really care about destroying ties with my Aunts except it will strain my relationship with my Dad and their relationship with my Dad which will upset him and my Mom will feel caught in the middle. By the way Grandma can't live with me because I have 2 babies and no space and Grandma does have the money for assisted living if/when she needs it.
