http://www.caring.com/community/groups/caring-central/discussions/why-do-parents-talk-of-dying en-us 60 <p>Hi Bodhi~Thanks for your reply. (I think it was meant for the prior post but I noticed too late!) Sorry!</p><p>I have actually talked to both of my parents at diffrent levels about death and dying. I feel very comfortable talking to them because I actually want to find out how it is that they feel about it as well. Mom knows that she may be here and gone tommorrow and wants to share her feelings about if and when that time comes. Dad on the other hand wants a more definative time frame. As I explained to dad the other day....Just because he was diagnosed with Alzheimer's does not mean he will die because of Alzheimer's. It could be cancer, a stroke or even hit by a car. God forbid!</p><p>My believe is that it is not on our time but HIS time when he calls upon us. The important thing is to be ready. <img src="/javascripts/fckeditor/editor/images/smiley/msn/angel_smile.gif" /></p> Fri, 19 Sep 2008 20:37:37 -0000 www.caring.com:5:249:1397 carmel http://www.caring.com/community/groups/caring-central/discussions/why-do-parents-talk-of-dying <p>Hi Anonymous,</p><p>I really believe it can be some kind of 'knowing' on a deeper level - I don't know if it comes from God - but definitely from some higher place.&nbsp; And often not an intellectual knowing, but more on a gut level or intuititive level.&nbsp; Sometimes it seems like there are definite plans for us out there, and we can put in 'requests' <img src="/javascripts/fckeditor/editor/images/smiley/msn/regular_smile.gif" />,&nbsp; but can't put off the inevitable.&nbsp; </p><p>I think if it were me I'd talk to my dad about death if you can.&nbsp; I think that to leave here to go into God's hands (or whatever you believe in) can be a most wondrous thing.&nbsp; (Though a hugh and painful loss to us who are left behind!)</p><p>It reminds me of a friend who 3 years ago lost her mom, husband then dad in about 18 months.&nbsp; Her husband had suddenly died of a massive heart attack, then her father had a big scare about a month or two later.&nbsp; He was failing and it was clear the end was near, but she said to her dad -&nbsp; 'I can't bear for you to leave now.&nbsp; Please wait at least 6 months.' They kind of joked about it.&nbsp; But sure enough, he held on. About 6 months later, the familiy was talking with him about moving him into a facility where he would have better care.&nbsp; Being the 'strong' character he was, he said... 'there is no way I'm going there.&nbsp; I'm done'.... and went upstairs lay down on his bed and passed away. </p><p>I believe that sometimes we just know something is coming,&nbsp; even if we don't understand or know how we know.&nbsp; We might have a little bit of control about it, but maybe not.&nbsp; </p><p>Do you feel comfortable talking about death?&nbsp; Is that okay?</p><p>&nbsp;</p> Fri, 19 Sep 2008 20:05:31 -0000 www.caring.com:5:249:1396 Bodhi http://www.caring.com/community/groups/caring-central/discussions/why-do-parents-talk-of-dying <p>Hello~I just had to write and tell you that I also go through the same thing with my mother. It's been going on for a long time as well. As far as I know she is in fairly good condition. I think because she has retired and hangs around the house that she may get depressed and let he mind run. My parents are not together anymore since the 80's and dad was recently diagnosed with Alzheimer's. Since then, HE has talked about getting his issues in order and has expressed to me his wishes but for the most part is continuing to live a full and healthy life while he still is in his early stages. I think we've touched on every aspect of what to expect but as far as talking consistantly about dying, he doesn't. He knows what's up ahead but doesn't focus on it as his Dr. told he shouldn't. I'm not sure why my mother talks about dying and she's doing fine (I think because her mother did the same thing) and dad has come to grip with what the future holds for him. Of course I give both parents the same attention and respect and I also think if mom might know something that we other's don't. Not sure what the reasons are but I just wanted to let you know that I also have the same experience that you do.</p><p>&nbsp;</p> Fri, 19 Sep 2008 19:16:42 -0000 www.caring.com:5:249:1395 carmel http://www.caring.com/community/groups/caring-central/discussions/why-do-parents-talk-of-dying <p>My father who is 72 and is diabetic not insulin dependant,otherwiseis in good health has recently said things to my mother like I'm sorry I'm giving out on you,( he just has two knee replacements 6 weeks apart) and the second surgery recovery has been more difficult for him so he has slowed down substanualy) and also has made remarks to dying.&nbsp; He also said something to my daughter who is 2 about he wanted to take her to breakfast just the two of them,he said he could just drop dead without ever having taken his grandaughter to breakfast. This has me concerned. I remember my grandmother talking about death alot and my only living grandmother says every year at Christmas she won't be here next year and this has been going on for 15+ years. My father however is a very private man and this seems to be way off base for him. Doe anyone else know why they talk of dying?, do they somehow know something the doctors don't? My father is very alert and has no type of mental disease or disorders he is very capable of doing everything for himself and making all decisions even legal ones, is there a reason for this kind of talk, I'm worried I will lose my father. He is a religious man so is it possible for God to be speaking to him to get ready? I am a christian also and I know God speaks&nbsp; but I want to know why my father is thinking this way.</p> Fri, 19 Sep 2008 18:28:00 -0000 www.caring.com:5:249:1394 Anonymous http://www.caring.com/community/groups/caring-central/discussions/why-do-parents-talk-of-dying