Why do parents talk of dying?

Hello~I just had to write and tell you that I also go through the same thing with my mother. It's been going on for a long time as well. As far as I know she is in fairly good condition. I think because she has retired and hangs around the house that she may get depressed and let he mind run. My parents are not together anymore since the 80's and dad was recently diagnosed with Alzheimer's. Since then, HE has talked about getting his issues in order and has expressed to me his wishes but for the most part is continuing to live a full and healthy life while he still is in his early stages. I think we've touched on every aspect of what to expect but as far as talking consistantly about dying, he doesn't. He knows what's up ahead but doesn't focus on it as his Dr. told he shouldn't. I'm not sure why my mother talks about dying and she's doing fine (I think because her mother did the same thing) and dad has come to grip with what the future holds for him. Of course I give both parents the same attention and respect and I also think if mom might know something that we other's don't. Not sure what the reasons are but I just wanted to let you know that I also have the same experience that you do.

Hi Anonymous,

I really believe it can be some kind of 'knowing' on a deeper level - I don't know if it comes from God - but definitely from some higher place.  And often not an intellectual knowing, but more on a gut level or intuititive level.  Sometimes it seems like there are definite plans for us out there, and we can put in 'requests' ,  but can't put off the inevitable. 

I think if it were me I'd talk to my dad about death if you can.  I think that to leave here to go into God's hands (or whatever you believe in) can be a most wondrous thing.  (Though a hugh and painful loss to us who are left behind!)

It reminds me of a friend who 3 years ago lost her mom, husband then dad in about 18 months.  Her husband had suddenly died of a massive heart attack, then her father had a big scare about a month or two later.  He was failing and it was clear the end was near, but she said to her dad -  'I can't bear for you to leave now.  Please wait at least 6 months.' They kind of joked about it.  But sure enough, he held on. About 6 months later, the familiy was talking with him about moving him into a facility where he would have better care.  Being the 'strong' character he was, he said... 'there is no way I'm going there.  I'm done'.... and went upstairs lay down on his bed and passed away.

I believe that sometimes we just know something is coming,  even if we don't understand or know how we know.  We might have a little bit of control about it, but maybe not. 

Do you feel comfortable talking about death?  Is that okay?

Hi Bodhi~Thanks for your reply. (I think it was meant for the prior post but I noticed too late!) Sorry!

I have actually talked to both of my parents at diffrent levels about death and dying. I feel very comfortable talking to them because I actually want to find out how it is that they feel about it as well. Mom knows that she may be here and gone tommorrow and wants to share her feelings about if and when that time comes. Dad on the other hand wants a more definative time frame. As I explained to dad the other day....Just because he was diagnosed with Alzheimer's does not mean he will die because of Alzheimer's. It could be cancer, a stroke or even hit by a car. God forbid!

My believe is that it is not on our time but HIS time when he calls upon us. The important thing is to be ready.