I know it is normal by articles I have read, but I can't help myself move on. I cared for my younger adult sibling for 16 years with Progressive MS - no support from other siblings or other family. During that time I also cared for both parents in their home with terminal cancer.
It will be five years next month since my sibling died here in my home on hospice. Right after that I had serious health problems of my own and no job to go to because of my own health issues. Finances got very tight and I was afraid between the illness and work situation I was going to lose my home I have owned for 30 years.
Right now I am so lost and without any family contacts that I don't know where to turn. I have tried three counselors in the past five years and their immediate leap is to slap me with perscriptions for anti-depressants. That is no help and my health situation makes that a bad risk at best.
I still can't find a decent job to commit to and committing to anything is tough for me. I feel trapped and most jobs I am applying for re well beneath my education and experience. Because there is a gap in my progressive career steps, most employers don't seem to take care giving as a serious job, although I worked part-time jobs all this time.
I can't seem to figure out who I am anymore. We are never the same person after serious, long-term care giving and death of three immediate family members who came to define the purpose of our life.
My biggest worry is finding jobs, in my area I will need to work several, when I can't seem to get myself put together. The lonelness and sense of being lost is getting worse, not better.
I know I am not the only one in this situation, but I just don't know what to do. I am very worried about no health insurance, my badly dwinding finances, getting to 60 now myself, and trying to find a reason for going on. I hate to see daylight come any more.
