http://www.caring.com/community/groups/caring-central/discussions/significant-second-and-third-medical-opinions en-us 60 <p>What this story brings up for me is the need to be an advocate for our parents, who often can't (depending on how ill they are) or won't speak up for themselves (&quot;complainiing&quot; is often &quot;just not how they were raised&quot;) when they aren't getting the care they need and deserve--including getting a second opinion.</p><p>This came up for me when my father was in a nursing home recovering from MRSA (a drug-resistant staph infection). He was desperate to get out of there but the hospital social worker told him that wasn't possible--she said no home health agency would take him because he needed daily dressing changes and so he would have to stay in the nursing facility until his wound healed over, which could take months. The poor guy, who had a real fear of nursing homes and lived for his indepenendence, was heartbroken. It took me one phone--ONE phone call--to find out he'd been given the runaround and there were in fact options for caring for him at home. He was home the next day and once his spirits lifted, so did his infection. That, and negotiating with the head nurse to make sure he got his evening scotch and soda&nbsp; while he was in the nursing home (he didn't drink much of&nbsp; it, but it made him feel less infantilized and more in control), were the two best things I could have done for him, I think--and for whatever reason, he wasn't able to speak up for himself in either case. So I'd say when a parent is the hospital, don't worry about &quot;butting in&quot;--they really need your advocacy at a vulnerable time; it may save their peace of mind and even in some cases their lives.</p> Sun, 17 Feb 2008 01:26:24 -0000 www.caring.com:5:24:121 Nell Bernstein http://www.caring.com/community/groups/caring-central/discussions/significant-second-and-third-medical-opinions <p>This isn't about my parent, but it sure could be. Just as it's relevant to anyone dealing with an illness.&nbsp; </p> <p>A good friend was recently diagnosed with breast cancer, had a lumpectomy, and her surgeon said she needed a masectomy pronto, single for sure, and double wouldn't be a bad idea. The surgery was scheduled. My friend wanted to get it over with, but at the urging of many sought a second and third opinion.&nbsp; They all differed!&nbsp; She finally went for a 4th opinion (a highly reccomended surgeon), felt the best with her (internal comfort level) and after a third round of exploratory surgery and tests was told she was cancer free; no masectomy needed. A round of radiation.</p> <p>All this in two months. From facing a double masectomy, to no further surgery reccomended.</p> <p>It was exhausting for her to get the other opinions, time consuming, and emotionally draining, (and not inexpensive), but in her case it made a huge difference.</p> <p>What experiences have you had? </p> <p>&nbsp;</p> Thu, 07 Feb 2008 17:13:40 -0000 www.caring.com:5:24:55 catherine http://www.caring.com/community/groups/caring-central/discussions/significant-second-and-third-medical-opinions