Significant second and third medical opinions

What this story brings up for me is the need to be an advocate for our parents, who often can't (depending on how ill they are) or won't speak up for themselves ("complainiing" is often "just not how they were raised") when they aren't getting the care they need and deserve--including getting a second opinion.

This came up for me when my father was in a nursing home recovering from MRSA (a drug-resistant staph infection). He was desperate to get out of there but the hospital social worker told him that wasn't possible--she said no home health agency would take him because he needed daily dressing changes and so he would have to stay in the nursing facility until his wound healed over, which could take months. The poor guy, who had a real fear of nursing homes and lived for his indepenendence, was heartbroken. It took me one phone--ONE phone call--to find out he'd been given the runaround and there were in fact options for caring for him at home. He was home the next day and once his spirits lifted, so did his infection. That, and negotiating with the head nurse to make sure he got his evening scotch and soda  while he was in the nursing home (he didn't drink much of  it, but it made him feel less infantilized and more in control), were the two best things I could have done for him, I think--and for whatever reason, he wasn't able to speak up for himself in either case. So I'd say when a parent is the hospital, don't worry about "butting in"--they really need your advocacy at a vulnerable time; it may save their peace of mind and even in some cases their lives.