Personal care

Dear Nancy,

In California anyway, many facilities will accept "residents" whose care is paid for by "MediCal" the state-sponsored system. But, depending on the type and extent of care needed, there are often costs above and beyond what the state will pay for. Unfortunately, I have seen many families who had to sell their homes, etc to help pay for care. Some care facilities will accept a monthly social security check if the care requirements are not too great. This is where you have to do your homework. You could go to any nursing home/care facility and ask to speak with somebody in social services. They may have a catalogue of care facilities in your area. I did where I worked in California. Call, and tour, the ones that sound interesting. Please don't feel guilty when the time comes to place your mom in a care facility, but you need to keep an eye on them. Also, talk to the people in the "business office" of a nursing home. They are the ones who do the billing, and they are often very knowledgeable and helpful about how to pay for care.

Dear Nancy:

My husband & I have the responsibility of caring for my Mom who is in diapers as well.  Her Doctor arranged for a home health agency to come out and help 3 times a week.  This is paid for by her medicare.  I would suggest calling your Mom's Doctor and asking him for a referral.  This would at least help a little bit.  Sometimes, they also have volunteers that can come and sit with your loved ones.

I wish you the best at caregiving.  It has been a long tiring time for us and to put it bluntly Mom is in better shape at 90 than we are in our 50's.  It has taken a toll on our health.  We can't get out much as volunteers here aren't always available and there is no one else who will help out.

I know this sounds harsh but I long to get our life back.  I only hope and pray that we will have good health and be able to pick up where we left off.

Medicare pays 100% for hospice!

I spent 6 months trying to find help.  I went to aplaceformom.com and immediately got the help I needed.  Baths twice a week, free medicine, diapers, etc.

Please get in touch with A Place for Mom on line and give them your phone number.  You will not be sorry.  They also were most helpful to me, answering questions and adivising me what all was available.  They did an evaluation for free.

I can't say enough good things about hospice.  It is not like it used to be.  They have patients that have long term illinesses.  They have someone for anything you may have a problem with.