Legal guardianship of my mentally disabled sister

Hi avemaria,

First, welcome to Caring's community.  I'm glad you found us!

It sounds like you're in a tough spot with your sister.  Have you consulted a lawyer?  I'm not sure, legally, what can be done, though I absolutely see why you'd want to explore that!

Dear Avemaria,

I have some professional experience with people with intellectual/developmental disabilities, and I assume that's what you mean by "mental disabilites" so let me make a few initial suggestions.  I am NOT a lawyer, and you may need to consult one.

I wonder if you need to visit your sisters, and spend some time hanging out with your sister with disabilities to see what her days are like, who is involved in supporting her, how she spends her time, etc..  If she is involved in day programs of any kind you can get to know the staff a little, and get their perspective on how she is doing.

Depending on what state you are in, if your sister has an intellectual or developmental disability, she will be eligible for and probably receiving services from a state or regional agency like a department of developmental services or an office of mental retardation (they are called different things in different states).  You can contact them to find out who manages her case.  This person is responsible for making sure your sister has access to any services she needs.  You can express your concerns to this person.  You can also find out if there is a state ombudsman program for people with ID/DD, or a protection and advocacy group.  These things are all important because if your other sister is taking care of your disabled sister appropriately you do not want to jump into the guardianship/ conservatorship process prematurely because it is costly and can be time consuming.  Lastly, if you have concerns that your sister with disabilities is being financially exploited or not cared for properly or even abused you can and should report this to the authorities (in some states it is Adult Protective Services). 

Good luck - and thanks for keeping an eye out for your sister.  Let us know what happens.

I am in a similiar situation with my brother accept my mother passed away and my 57 year old brother with M.S. wanted to continue living at the home alone.  I am guessing your sister transferred the home in her name for fear of losing the home should your mother need to move to a nursing home.  There is a five year look back period looking for invalid transfers of assests prior to being enrolling in the medicaid program.  If your sister has been caring for your parents for a period of at least two years your parents house can be transferred and the parties involved are living in the house medicaid would consider this a valid transfer and your mother could have her nursing costs covered by medicaid.  Assests given away to family members during this 5 year period may result in a penalty for your mothers medicaid eligibility. This differs state to state so you would need to contact the medicaid office in your state and ask what assests medicaid will allow.  It would be a good idea to contact adult protective services if there are abuse issues financial or neglect.  You know your sister better than I do but it is extremely taxing job taking care of an aging parent and disabled child.   Questions I would be asking myself are:

Are my family members getting the quality of care that they deserve?

Would they be better of in a skilled nursing facility or assisted living complex?

Nursing home costs in my state average $5,000 / month.  I personally feel it would be best to hire a caring family member if one is available to take care of my family members in their home than to send them to a nursing home where they know nothing about your aging parent.  Most nursing homes will deplete most families assets within a year and in most cases medicaid requires you spend most of your assests before qualifying they do allow for certain exemptions.  If the house remained in your mom's name, she ended up in a nursing home for awhile, and passed away.  Medicaid might try to recover the house since it was an asset of your mothers when she passed away.  The government (medicaid) cannot take the house if someone is living in the home and in your case once your mother has passed away your sister may continue to live in the house that is in her name and take care of your disabled sibling.  This may or may not be specific to your situation but I thought I'd share what I have learned in my situation.