getting some help posted by Rebecca @ 03:15 PM April 27, 2008

Rebecca — Sun, 27 Apr 2008 15:15:01 -0000

Hi Lisa goingcrazy :>) One of my neighbors, uses a 'day care' program too with her mom. She goes 3 days a week and it works out really well. There's also a 'senior' lunch program at our town hall once a week organized by the town council on aging. The overall program is run by the Regional Council on Aging. They are a great resource, and its worth finding your local one. I just googled council on aging with my zip code and found this resource.... for example...

http://web.mit.edu/workplacecenter/hndbk/toc.html

Hope this helps! ps... don't forget to take a 'time out' for yourself :>)

getting some help posted by Anonymous @ 10:03 PM April 24, 2008

Anonymous — Thu, 24 Apr 2008 22:03:11 -0000

Gosh, I have so many friends in this situation and it's so hard. I'm caring for my mom too, but we live a few towns away so it's more over the phone and running down there every few days. Are there any support networks you can tap into -- a church, a neighbors' group, extended family members who happen to be retired with more time? Also, some towns have "day care" for seniors -- it's not called that, of course, but it's a drop-in center for seniors, a place they can go and it can actually be fun if the center's run well. When my best friend was in this exact situation, she found out about a "long lost" aunt who'd recently moved to the area and called her, and she turned out to be retired and lonely and started visiting and getting involved....anyone like that in your circle of aquaintances? I so sympathize -- good luck!!!

getting some help posted by Kirby F @ 04:43 PM April 24, 2008

Kirby F — Thu, 24 Apr 2008 16:43:50 -0000

Lisa,

I'm glad you found the time to post here. I haven't lived with a parent, so my advice could be way off. (I remember when I had young kids that everyone had advice about how to spend more time with my husband when I didn't want advice so much as someone to babysit once a month.)

I know that there are paid for services, but that's not always an option.

Here are a few more scrappy suggestions:

Is there anything your mom likes to do? Anywhere she might be able to be a docent (a local public garden or museum or library) or a church service she might like to attend? Can she do things on her own? Having a purpose might help her give you a bit of space.
I know when I had young twins that I didn't do this deliberately, but I shifted my sleep schedule a bit. I, personally, like about an hour a day of quiet, unstructured time - to waste if I need to or walk or read. The only way I could do that was early in the morning or late at night.
Do you have any neighbors or friends around in a similar situation? Could you host a card game for a few parents and give your friends a break and THEN they'd do the same for you the next week?

Ok, you sound like a loving daughter. Remember: it IS doing your best to take of yourself too.

Can't wait to hear from other people living with their parents, who will surely have much to add here.

Wish I could pop over with my kids and have your mom help us press flowers or something for an hour while you GO OUT.

getting some help posted by Missy @ 03:18 PM April 24, 2008

Missy — Thu, 24 Apr 2008 15:18:47 -0000

Hi Lisa! Welcome to Caring's groups! I'm really glad you found us and posted. I have a feeling you'll find many others in similar situations who can offer support. In the meantime, have you seen these articles on Caring's site? I'm going to give you a link that may be helpful.

http://www.caring.com/items/tagged/care-giving-stress

Take care! And keep us updated!

getting some help posted by goingcrazy @ 01:37 AM April 24, 2008

goingcrazy — Thu, 24 Apr 2008 01:37:13 -0000

Hello, I am Lisa and I am 41 I have 2 son's of which I just got my younger son out of the house at 19, he has joined the Air Force. Well before that my Dad passed away last Feb. since then I have moved my mom in my house. She is 77 she still gets around pretty good, but takes alot of meds. It fells like I have started all over raising another kid. Mom has been here now for 1 year. My husband has a job away from home so it is just me and mom. I have a part time job. My older brother helps me out with mom when I work. But when I am off I have NO time to myself it seems Mom has to be with me at all times, every time the phone rings she has to know who it was, what did they want. I just have know time to myself.

Recent Posts in 'getting some help' | Caring.com

getting some help posted by Rebecca @ 03:15 PM April 27, 2008

getting some help posted by Anonymous @ 10:03 PM April 24, 2008

getting some help posted by Kirby F @ 04:43 PM April 24, 2008

getting some help posted by Missy @ 03:18 PM April 24, 2008

getting some help posted by goingcrazy @ 01:37 AM April 24, 2008