for my sister

Hey there,  I know its so hard when we look at our loved ones from our perspective and we think we can see so clearly what they should do, or how they should be.  That they would feel so much better, and they wouldn't struggle so much.  Yet they don't do it, and can't hear us when we tell them.  It drives me crazy with my dad.

Why do you think she has given up?

Hello,

  I'm so sorry.  *hugs*  Is your sister terminal?

I've been close to at least two people that have gotten to a point in their treatment where they simply said "enough is enough".  It was heartbreaking to me, but empowering to them.  They took control and said "I'm done with the chemo, that makes me feel terrible.  I'm going to really enjoy what I have left, say what I want to say, do what I want to do and take everthing in.  Then, when it's my time, I'll be ready." 

I know it's so hard to stand by and, essentially, watch.  But my advice to you is to really enjoy the time you andyour sister share.  If you think she's making a mistake, let her know how you feel and ask her to explain to you why she's making the choice to not deal with her cancer.  Perhaps that will help.

Keep us updated.  I'll be thinking about you. 

In addition to what Missy has said above, I'd encourage you to seek help with dealing with your depression, too. Cancer affects all of the family, and it's important to remember to take care of yourself, as well. Please let us know how things are going.

I am so sorry to hear about your sister's struggle.  

I agree with LauraL:  please consider help for yourself as you cope with her cancer and the fact that she seems to be giving up.  The books of Bernie Siegel, MD (Like "Love, Medicine and Miracles") helped my sister tremendously in her struggle with breast cancer, and they helped me as well.  After reading them, I understood a little better what she was facing.

You'll be in my prayers, as will your sister.