You know...now that I think about it, I'm not sure how we got through it. I'm not going to lie, it was difficult. I can remember there being times where I was filled with grief, dread and sometimes even feelings of awkwardness. I remember traveling to my father-in-law's house the night we knew would be his last. As we turned off the highway to their house I felt almost panicked. What would we do? What would we say? What would we see? There was this urgency to get to his side as quickly as possible and an equal urgency to run away and not deal with it. It was just too hard. Sadly, when we arrived, he had already passed and those feelings were replaced with a deep sadness and longing to have said one last goodbye. Gosh it's been awhile since I've thought about that day and I'm tearing up wrting this.
Forgive me for my little walk down memory lane. Where I was going wtih all of this is that in these times, you do what you have too. Truthfully, there's little choice. Being on the other side, I truly believe that there is no right or wrong way to muddle through it all. My husband and I dealt with it very differently, yet still today both have peace. Everything you're feeling is okay.
I hope you'll find yourself where I am now. When I see one of my children do something that reminds me of my father-in-law I smile. When he suddenly creeps into my thoughts I send a little "hello there" his way in my mind. When I see how happy my mother-in-law is in her daily life I feel satisfied that life goes on. We all miss him dearly, there's no doubt about that. But...we got through it. You will too.
If you need a sounding board or just some support, post again here. Losing a loved one is never easy.
My best advice is to just show your mom as much love as you can. Sometimes that means skipping a day to regroup and be able to face the next. *hugs* Please keep us updated on how she and you are doing. We're here for you.
