My 90 year old mother has "mild cognitive dementia", athritis, colon problems and renal failure. She has been living alone - my brother lives next door. They have a signal - blinds come up in the morning to let him know she is up and okay. She has a life alert necklace.our safety net). She refuses to use her walker/cane to get around the house-she walks holding onto pieces of furniture - refuses to accept that the walker/cain may prevent her from failing. My sister calls her several times a day.
Two weeks ago my brother came in from work, the blinds were down, newpapers still on the porch., window A/c unit not on...he found her laying on the floor in her bedroom - terrible bruise on her arm and below her eye (she had hit her night stand). Evidently she had been there all day......my sister had called her several times between 10 and 2 - my mother told her she was laying down (did not mention she was on the floor), mother did not use her life alert button (which was around her neck).
Doctors and family say she cannot leave alone, we found a room in a rehab facaility that is close to home and that we know. When I got her there to check in, Mother refused to get out of the car, she wanted to go home, she would walk if I wouldn't take her, put her hands over her ears, told her facility employees to "shut up", etc. After an hour or so she argreed to go inside. We had told her they would help build her strength up, etc. For about 10 days she did great, ate well, did her rehab, able to walk in the halls with her walker. She was in a private room so she had her "space, her skin was rosy, eyes clear, etc.
Today into the 3rd week: she refuses to eat/drink...over the weekend she ate less that a tablespoon of food..she is weak - cannot get out of the wheelchair to the toilet, can barely stand to put her gown on at bedtime, will not talk, skin is shollow, dark circles under her eyes.
My mother has always been somewhat difficult and stubborn. She has given up because she cannot go home. My brother, sister and I have to work (I live 180 miles away-but always have gone home to my my share), we are hestitant of live in help because they may/may not show up, her house is in a rural area, neighbors are not close and those who are work. The facility is one f the best in the area. We have such peace with her being there. It it 10 miles from my sister and niece and 16 miles from my brother.
What do we do? We realize that she is depressed, she has been on meds for some time for despression. We are calling today to get an appointment with her long time medical doctor.
Any advice is welcomed.
But I'm really hoping for you, and her, that recovery from the pancreatitis will brighten her outlook and renew her strength. Please keep us updated. I'll be thinking about you.
