Preventing Alzheimer's posted by love torn @ 01:01 AM May 17, 2008

love torn — Sat, 17 May 2008 01:01:53 -0000

Misserable in MO,

Yes, hang in there . Don't you wonder why the good and hard working seem to always have it so Bad? Who knows what the plan is for any of us and why? Yes it is a B---- . But as you must know There is still NO medication that works in the long run .Wether you can afford it or not. I had my husband stop Aricept after 2 years because of his progression and he stated on a med that works the same way . Yes , very expensive but I needed to try . But there is still hope that 2009 will bring 1 or more new meds that will really work! I wish my husband's siblings would show more interest in spending a day or a few hours with him or just us . He is only 60 and effected sister 59 brother died with it at 63. But I will always hope for that new cure or a med that stops it in it's track .For all the Fathers, grandfathers, sons, and grandchridren to come I will not give up hope ! Hang in there . Love Torn

Preventing Alzheimer's posted by miserable in MO @ 03:54 PM May 16, 2008

miserable in MO — Fri, 16 May 2008 15:54:28 -0000

I'm new to the site, my father, has just recently been diagnosed with this disease. It seems like for him it runs in the family. His mom, I remember struggled with it & was placed in a nursing home, his brother died in a ward especially for patients with Alzheimers. My dad is not overweight. I can relate with anonymus & Fiona. It is very dishearting to see someone who has lived a productive & great life & who worked at the same place for 50 years & took care of his family to now not know how to start a tractor that he has done all his life. My mom several years ago went into the hospital to have heart surgery & while there also suffered with a stroke that left her mostly blind & unstable on her feet. My dad has been there for her every step of the way, taking over all the house responsibilities. Unfortunately, I am also like Fiona, with a dead beat brother who has lived on again, off again with my parents & is again right now living with them with his livein & two infant children. So now my dad has more to take on besides losing his mind. I was there just for Mothers Day & I honestly don't know how he handles it all, it's not a wonder he is slipping mentally. I live over 2 hours away & it is difficult for me to get down there. Now my Dad has run out of his Aricept medicine & says he can't afford to get anymore, they are on fixed income. I need to figure out what we (my other brother & sister & I) can do to get them help. I understand the frustration of many of the others. I heard a saying recently that God will take you thru it if he brings you to it. My Dad is a strong Christian man, but without his medicine has turned into a mean vulgar person & it hurts when that happens but I have to understand that that is not my Dad. Even if my Dad gets to the point where he can't tell me or doesn't know me, I know that he loves me. I know that where he will end up someday, is a much better place than where he is or has been. I have read articles before that stress can help cause onset of many diseases such as this as well as diabetics & others. You have to feel sorry for them because they don't know why they are doing the things they are any more than we do. I am hanging in there the same as the rest of you.

miserable in MO

Preventing Alzheimer's posted by love torn @ 03:01 AM April 17, 2008

love torn — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 03:01:53 -0000

Fiona,

It sounds like you did the best for your mom by having her in assisted living housing . Hopefully she will get medicade if needed too seeing your Dad wasn't helpful there.. An Elder Lawyer can help . That was one of the first things my husbands Neruologists sugested was to get our lives and finances in order, Power of attorney, Wills , Trusts , Health care proxy etc. As far as your family dynamics I totally understand . Although when my husband 's Mom had her leg amputated HE was there for her even though she was so far away and we where both there for the last leg . Not her daughters though . Even though she is very close to them too. Thank God for her Soul Mate who loves and cares for her . He is a God sent . She doesn't know about her son who was by her side only a few years ago is now stricken with AD as her oldest and a younger daughter too. They think it would kill her to know that one more of her children have this debilitating disease. The truth is she might just out live all 5 of her children. But she soon will be back North and will see for herself. As for your brother . Who knows why some people or siblings can't deal with careing for a love one or parent and then others feel pulled strongly to be there to help. ?? I guess we all handle things differently but I am sure they all care in thier own way. Hey maybe your Mom can find a man friend too --Ha-Ha ,sorry but actually companionship is great . Dinners , cards, dances,shuffel board , even in their 80's they need the companionship and friendship of others .

I am glad you Joined this web site. I hope you fine some way of venting I like to vent here too . I also like to offer help if I feel I can. Take care . Love, Torn

Preventing Alzheimer's posted by RevYarb @ 02:31 AM April 17, 2008

RevYarb — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 02:31:25 -0000

Paula,

You are so correct in your statement that we can all relate in some shape form or fashion. Fiona summed it up perfectly, we have to deal with the hand we have been dealt. Many times I’ve used this analogy during my sermons, (Uno game) many times we are stuck with numbers and skips and draw fours, hardly ever get dealt a wild card, nevertheless, we have to play this hand, and the good thing about this is we can win with the hand that we now hold.

Bless Your Spirit!

RevYarb

Preventing Alzheimer's posted by Paula Spencer @ 02:03 AM April 17, 2008

Paula Spencer — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 02:03:32 -0000

Fiona, your last three sentences are obviously the voice of experience -- and ones to remember, thanks. Seems like we all can relate in some way to all the great pain everyone has mentioned above and share deep empathy. Very hard.

(BTW, I agree with above comments that weight may have nothing to do with many parents' Alzheimer's. Researchers don't think it's the only cause or even necessarily the direct cause. That's what's so frustrating about all these "risk factor" articles, yes? They're still just "factors" not "answers.")

Preventing Alzheimer's posted by Fiona @ 01:45 AM April 17, 2008

Fiona — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 01:45:35 -0000

Anonymous, I feel your pain. Believe me, I do! My Dad died over a year ago from a stroke, that made his colon cancer worse...he got tossed out of the hospital when they said "time for hospice", and that's when I realized my Mom was "going", and in fact, probably had been for quite some time. I asked my Dad, sharp as a tack until he took his last breath at 79, "How long has she been like this?" He said, "I'm busy dying. She's YOUR problem now." He didn't leave her any of his pension, because he told her "When I die, old woman, your gravy train is over." So I have taken over everything for her...I moved them both into an assisted living center, and he died shortly thereafter. My Mom complains that she feels trapped, that she's going to die there and she hates it. She wants to move back into her house and live alone, but the psychologists tell me she is unable to care for herself anymore; and if I don't sell her house, I won't be able to afford care for her. I have 4 teenagers, work as a sub, have been job-searching for 4 years, but no one wants to hire a 51 year old, because they must all think I'm going to retire next year! HOW? With an additional "kid" added to my plate, I'm ready to scream, and my brother is unemployed and useless...he visits mom if they have a family dinner, and he charges his meal to her bill, which I pay. And my husband's parents are both still in the house he grew up in, so he doesn't really understand, though he tries. I have no Dad, no Mom, and no one else to talk to either. That's why I joined this web site. It's good to be able to vent SOMEWHERE! You are NOT ALONE! There's a whole lot of us going through about the same thing. We all cry more than we should, and don't laugh enough. Try to hug your mom, while she still remembers who you are, as I do with mine. Someday I will just be "that nice lady who comes to visit", and even though that will mean the end of her complaints, it will also be a sad day. Life is not a choice. We get dealt our hands, and we have to play the cards. Measure yourself by how well you play your hand. But ask for help!

Preventing Alzheimer's posted by LauraL @ 03:04 PM April 16, 2008

LauraL — Wed, 16 Apr 2008 15:04:01 -0000

Love Torn, what lovely suggestions about music and dancing. Such a positive way to handle things. You are in my thoughts.

Preventing Alzheimer's posted by Anonymous @ 12:50 AM April 16, 2008

Anonymous — Wed, 16 Apr 2008 00:50:48 -0000

sugestions . When your mother asks you to do something like wash the car and it's raining .Try what they call distracting or therapuetic Lying . Like" But Mom we can do that when it stops raining "but lets listen to your favorite music now . Come on I would like to listen to it with you .what is your favorite song . Maybe if she likes to dance you could dance with her and evn if she didn't used to dance she might like to now. Everything changes with this disease even the way we need to relate , Talk communicate to them. I know it is very difficult so take good care of yourself too .You can't help if you don't feel well yourself.

Preventing Alzheimer's posted by love torn @ 12:31 AM April 16, 2008

love torn — Wed, 16 Apr 2008 00:31:43 -0000

Just to add to the note above from Love Torn (me) with the over weight issue and Alzheimer's .None of the 9 people in my husbands family with dementia or AD were over weight ??? My husband's weight has always been around 175 lbs as an adult he is 5, 9" I also hear a lot about Education and the more educated the least likely you are to get it. My husband has or had an I Q of 147 and his sister was an accountant and brother colleage educated and so on . All where highly Intellegent so I don't believe everything I read and do disbelieve some things I read too .

I forgot to mention that above, Love, Torn

Preventing Alzheimer's posted by love torn @ 12:12 AM April 16, 2008

love torn — Wed, 16 Apr 2008 00:12:28 -0000

To Anonymous 40 & losing her Mom,

I am so sorry and I can surly empathise with you,I am 59 & both my parents are gone. My husband & the Love of my life has Early onset AD. Diagnosed 2 years in June he was 58. I find living day to day helps. Not taking any critisium seriously that comes from them & just agree with them unless it could be harmful to them or someone else. If you are depressed get help , Meds , can help believe me ,and laugh when ever you can. We can't change what is happening at this time so I think we just have to go with what we are dealt and still of coarse be proactive . I don't know what we will be dealing with next year but I know today we will have as much fun and try to have the best quality of life we can or (he can have). He doesn't know what day it is but he does know if it is Wednesday he bowls and Thursday he golfs . Friends drive him and I have to lay out his cloths or he will wear the same thing day after day . He only takes a shower 1 x a week when I can talk him into it . I have to watch him take and remind him he has to take his meds . But if I say I love you he can still say it back to me .I'm not sure he will be able to by next year but I am hopeful . This is a rare type of Alzheimer's that has effected 9 members on his fathers side including his younger sister and brother who died at age 63 in 2005 . So we are with you and praying and hopeing for a cure very soon because we have 2 sons and a grand Daughter . Well , enough about me .Hang in there and cherish the person for who she is at that moment and try to laugh when ever you can . Not at her but with her and inspite of this insipied diease she has . My thought's are with you . Love, Torn

Preventing Alzheimer's posted by RevYarb @ 01:42 AM April 10, 2008

RevYarb — Thu, 10 Apr 2008 01:42:52 -0000

Anonymous, I think we all here feel your pain and can honestly say that we can understand your feelings. Yes, you and the rest of us have been dealt a hand that we did ask for, and it’s very painful and heartbreaking. I wished I could do something for you to help ease the pain that you are experiencing. Anonymous however you are not alone. I wished I could give you a hug of support, consolation, and love of the Lord.

I encourage you to keep posting here, and looking here for support. May I also suggest that you share with your personal pastor, rabbi, or priest that he/she may minister to you in your time of pain. Be Encouraged J

Bless Your Spirit!

RevYarb

Preventing Alzheimer's posted by LauraL @ 11:36 PM April 09, 2008

LauraL — Wed, 09 Apr 2008 23:36:28 -0000

I'm so sorry, Annie. One day at a time. *hugs*

Preventing Alzheimer's posted by Annie @ 08:35 PM April 09, 2008

Annie — Wed, 09 Apr 2008 20:35:43 -0000

I can identify with the pain in that last posting. My wonderful, witty, sweet, precious father died in his brain 7 years ago. He stares into space. No sweet smile, no jokes, no laughter. I can barely stand to go to the nursing home and check on him due to the severe depression I feel for days after. I do not know what causes this terrible disease. My dad did have a brain stem stroke shortly before showing demential. I read a study that said very intelligent, educated people get it. I am overweight and so was my dad. My mom is not and has her faculties. My dad also had a fall and hit his head in his early 70's. I read carbs can cause it, too. I am currently trying to lose weight and am having difficulty. I have 100 lbs to lose. It is all a struggle and depressing. One day at a time. I just survive one day at a time.

Preventing Alzheimer's posted by LauraL @ 09:06 PM April 08, 2008

LauraL — Tue, 08 Apr 2008 21:06:19 -0000

Hello anonymous,

I can tell from your post you are in so much pain, and I'm so sorry for it. I wish -- gosh, how I wish -- I could fix her for you and make her well again. Take it one day at a time. Vent it out in a journal if that might help. Go to the gym and punch a punching bag. And know in your heart, you're still the same person and she's still the same person - just that circumstances have changed things and it hurts that they've changed, it does. **hugs** I hope you stick around Caring.com - we're here to help, advise, and most importantly, lend a shoulder.

Preventing Alzheimer's posted by Anonymous @ 06:49 PM April 08, 2008

Anonymous — Tue, 08 Apr 2008 18:49:35 -0000

you are 40? we are talking about our parents.??...........FOR GOD'S SAKE GET OVER IT!! i have lost my mom to this disease and she is still alive........i dont have anyone to talk to......anyone to confide in.......anyone to hug anymore.........because she's not there anymore.......silence is all i get when i try to talk to her.........SILENCE........becuase she doesnt know how to respond to me anymore...........ive LOST MY MOM........IM 53 AND IVE LOST MY MOM AND SHE STILL L I V E S !!!!!

weight doesnt have anything to do with alzheimers............my mom is thin and getting thinner...........shes mad that she cant remember and takes it out on my sister and me..........shes not our mom anymore...........shes a stranger..........and we dont know what to do to console her.........

it hurts so bad.........but she gets mad at us if we try to help her..........she never got mad at us before..............we have lost our mom.........she might as well be dead.........because we cant communicate anymore..........she gets angry with me for no reason.........example........mom says 'lets wash your car!" me..." its raining......no use in washing it now" mom......'WELL FINE....JUST TALK TO ME THAT WAY.......I NEVER TALKED TO MY MOTHER THAT WAY......ALL YOU DO IS YELL AT ME... I DONT NEED THIS FROM YOU! MY DAUGHTER WOULD NEVER TALK TO ME THE WAY YOU TALK TO ME!"

so what do i do? i cant please her anymore...i cant make her happy anymore...when i say im concerned she gets mad at me........TELL ME! GOD HELP ME! im so depressed over 'losing' my mom...........and shes still here!!!!!

o yeah........my grammer is awful in this --- but i know where to put the commas, and apostrophies.........

Preventing Alzheimer's posted by LauraL @ 05:42 PM April 07, 2008

LauraL — Mon, 07 Apr 2008 17:42:03 -0000

Paula, me, too. :) I'm working on dropping the weight now; this study does weigh heavily on my mind.

Preventing Alzheimer's posted by Paula Spencer @ 06:31 PM April 04, 2008

Paula Spencer — Fri, 04 Apr 2008 18:31:46 -0000

Yes, actually this is based on a very large study, more than 6,500 people, who were followed for an average of 36 years. That size and scope are what makes the study so noteworthy (and believable). It fits in with the growing idea that Alzheimer's is somehow related to vascular health-- people who are overweight tend to have more cardiovascular problems, and diabetes, which we already know are linked to Alzheimer's. That said, there are other known risk factors, like age. My own mother-in-law and father have Alzheimer's and were never fat, but both are over 85. And thin people can also suffer strokes -- another known link to dementia. So your waistline isn't everything. But I have to say I find this study popping into my head every time I crave chocolate....

Preventing Alzheimer's posted by LauraL @ 04:50 PM April 01, 2008

LauraL — Tue, 01 Apr 2008 16:50:07 -0000

There is a link to the study done by Kaiser Permanente within the article. In thinking back, my husband's grandmother was very tiny and suffered from dementia, but my great-grandmother was large and also suffered from dementia. I think it's a risk factor, but not an absolute, certainly.

Preventing Alzheimer's posted by RevYarb @ 12:54 PM April 01, 2008

RevYarb — Tue, 01 Apr 2008 12:54:51 -0000

Good people I have to respectfully disagree with this statement only because my grandmother (was) and also my mother weights range from 120 lbs to a petite size. I have also known others who have suffered with this disease, and now that I think of it none of them were on the heavy side either. Is there any medical article defending this claim?

Preventing Alzheimer's posted by LauraL @ 09:42 PM March 31, 2008

LauraL — Mon, 31 Mar 2008 21:42:06 -0000

This article got my attention, in a hurry. I'm 40, and about 60 lbs overweight and all of it around my middle. *looks up Weight Watchers meeting times* I tend to forget things anyway; reading that my weight could cause me to have a higher chance of developing Alzheimer's makes me very nervous!

What do you think of this? Any experiences with an overweight parent who has developed the disease?

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