Personal Care Home or Skilled Nursing Facility?

Mocha,

 Can you share with me (us) as much as you’re comfortable with; on how you got your mom into this facility? Is this an insurance covered care item, or totally your out of pocket expense? I’m often hearing that if I put her into a skilled facility that they begin to come after all assets. Can you please help in this area? If you aren’t comfortable sharing on the list please feel free to email me at RevYarb@sbcglobal.net

Thanks

- Matt

Hi Mocha,

It does sound like a dilemma, and I understand your worries!  I wonder, does your mother have a designated doctor? Could he or she help advise you in this, if perhaps they have an opinion on her care? Or possibly, maybe the doctor could make a house call to the home to check on her.

Also, have you checked with the caregiver on medical help? Is she opposed to it for some reason, or is it just something that wasn't communicated well during the transition to the home?

As for activities, I wonder if this is where family members become involved. I know you stated you were an only child; can you spend some time with your mother doing a few things a couple of times a week to  help with that, or provide her something to do when you're not there? Did she knit or crochet, or do puzzles?

I'm thinking of you and hoping that the matter can be resolved in a way that can make you feel more comfortable. :)

~Laura

Hi Mocha,

Welcome to Caring's groups!  I'm glad you posted.

One thing you may want to do is call a few facilities and find out what types of activities they provide for those with similar medical conditions.  That may give you a better idea of what is possible for her.  You may also want to talk to the caregiver about how well (or not) she's eating.  Is there some favorite food she'd prefer?  Is the caregiver willing to accomodate that?  Does your mom's doctor have any idea why she continues to lose weight?  I know these questions don't help with regard to their not being a medical professional at the home where she lives, but I wanted to throw them out there.

Matt, I wanted to talk about the notion of a long-term care facility coming after a person's assets.   I'm curious to know the asset limits for Medicaid eligibility in your area.  If wonder if your mom is able to own a house and still qualify, for example. 

 I appreciate the advise I have not been on for a while because Mom was in the hospital. She had a "TIA". We found out she has 100% blocked artery.

Responding to Laura and Missy... Although there is not a medical professional on the premises. A visiting nurse comes twice a month as a part of this program, and I take my mother to her doctor appointments myself regularly. Her primary care docter  has done many tests(thyroid,cancer, etc) and has no answers for the weight loss other than it is just a part of  the disease. I am noticing that most doctors kind of write off the elderly in a way, and do not encourage looking for problems. I have actually been told things like , "if  cancer was found, what could you really do at her age and condition".     

I visit my mother 2-3 days a week. She will do a puzzle every now and then but her attention span is short. She likes to look at old photos and sing. Some personal care homes provide scheduled activities daily, and have several people on staff. Ours is lacking this although  great in many other ways.

As far as estate recovery, if a person is in a nursing home, they will go after assets. If the home is over 50,000 or so. Luckily, we changed everything over years ago.  

New dilemma...........mother has limited mobility and can not walk without assistance from the caregiver. The dementia causes her to forget she is unstable on her feet so she will just jump up on her own, which creates a serious fall risk. The caregiver has asked me about my feeling of using a soft restraint to prevent her from getting up alone...................

This is a toughy............safety or dignity! 

Hi Mocha,

Thanks for the update!

How receptive do you think your mom would be to a walker?  If it is kept near her when she sits, do you think she'd instinctively grab onto it when she jumps up?

Hi Mocha,

Thanks for the update; I'm sorry to hear of her being hospitalized again!

As for the jumping up to walk - what is a soft restraint? Would it scare her, make her feel like she's being tied down? Or would it be a clue to her to slow down?

Response to Missy......Funny you mention that! Mom has a walker and her physical therapist has attempted to train her on how to use it. Unfortunately, she can not handle it well. Her perception seems off, and she just takes off fast into falls or whatever........It is more of a hazard than a help unless someone is right there with her to guide it.

Response to Laura...what they are calling a soft restraint looks like a tuxedo cumber bund' and goes around the waist and is tied to the back of a chair/bed etc..........She does get upset  and has said she feels like a prisoner. It breaks my heart yet  I know she can not be watched 24/7. The moment  she is in a room alone she would jump up and ultimately fall and break a hip with her frail frame.  I have come to understand that many hosptials and nursing facilities are using these or chemical restraints when patients are a risk like, Mom. I worry about her getting so upset from the restraints that she has an attack or something.    

Mocha, thanks for the updates and information.  I would worry about her being upset by the restraints, too. **hugs**