Living far away from my father (58) with AD..help. posted by Hopeful Daughter @ 06:45 PM September 15, 2008

Hopeful Daughter — Mon, 15 Sep 2008 18:45:23 -0000

Rebecca - what a great idea. I don't know much about facebook, but I do know that my dad loves all of those things that you listed, and since I can be online with him through our webcam...might make it that much more fun to play along while we are chatting.

Living far away from my father (58) with AD..help. posted by Hopeful Daughter @ 06:43 PM September 15, 2008

Hopeful Daughter — Mon, 15 Sep 2008 18:43:54 -0000

Carla - I'm so sorry to hear of the loss of your dad. It sounds like you and he had a wonderful support system together and that is key to everyone getting through this. I do need to understand that every little thing helps and not discount the phone calls and cards, etc. Thanks for the prayers....I will say one for you as well.

Living far away from my father (58) with AD..help. posted by Carla @ 01:34 PM September 09, 2008

Carla — Tue, 09 Sep 2008 13:34:32 -0000

Boy can I relate to your story!! I was in the same situation with my dad living in Montana and me in Washington. My youngest brother lives in the same town my dad did. (We lost him in May) I have an awesome step-mom who cared for him until the end but my brother there did as much as he could, mowed the lawn, fixed things, etc. My other brother and myself who lived far away did make trips back as much as we could and were able to put a ramp on the house, help to get Hospice in place. The biggest thing I can tell you is do what you can no matter how "little" you think it is. Be supportive to those that are right there, including your dad. A regular phone call often, lets him know you are there and wish you could be closer. It makes a differance to them just to hear it and it helps you to know that you are dong what you can.

Be strong for those that need you and most of all be strong for yourself, you're doing what you can. My heart and prayers are with you!!!!

Living far away from my father (58) with AD..help. posted by Missy @ 04:04 PM September 04, 2008

Missy — Thu, 04 Sep 2008 16:04:07 -0000

You're welcome! Please let us know how it goes. I think loads of people deal with a similar situation and would love to know how things work out!

Living far away from my father (58) with AD..help. posted by Rebecca @ 11:11 AM September 04, 2008

Rebecca — Thu, 04 Sep 2008 11:11:34 -0000

Hi Hopeful daughter!

Another thing to explore is Facebook. I know that may seem weird, but a dear friend got his dad onto facebook, and now they play all these games together online. Chess, bumberstars, all sorts of stuff. Its a way that you can connect but don't have to do it in real time. Good luck!

Living far away from my father (58) with AD..help. posted by Hopeful Daughter @ 11:23 PM September 03, 2008

Hopeful Daughter — Wed, 03 Sep 2008 23:23:48 -0000

Webcam...how smart. The crazy thing is that we got one for my parents when my oldest daughter was born to help bridge the distance, but have not used it in about 3 years. I will definately get that back out and take advantage of this free visual with my family and children.

Thanks so much for your warm words.

Living far away from my father (58) with AD..help. posted by Missy @ 05:59 PM September 03, 2008

Missy — Wed, 03 Sep 2008 17:59:19 -0000

Hello! Welcome to Caring's community!

I'm so sorry about your dad's diagnosis. I'm hopeful for you that his progression is very slow and that the medications he takes are effective.

With regard to fostering a relationship between him and your little ones, I have one word for you. Webcam! I lots of families who live a distance away from loved ones use them to communicate. If your parents are willing, it may be just the thing you're looking for! The one great benefit about using it with folks who have health issues is that you only set it all up when dad is feeling well and interested in talking to your children. That allows your dad to give his best to the kids. Make sense?

Living far away from my father (58) with AD..help. posted by Hopeful Daughter @ 01:36 PM September 03, 2008

Hopeful Daughter — Wed, 03 Sep 2008 13:36:46 -0000

My family has just begun the official dealings with my father who was diagnosed with Dimentia about 4 months ago. We have seen signs and symptoms of this for several years. My grandmother (his mom) passed away from AD about 4 years ago and his brother has also been diagnosed with Dimentia. Doctors just say this is early stages of AD.

My mother, bless her heart, is coping best she can as the past 4 months have been a whirlwind. After being diagnosed, he in the past 2 weeks has been asked to go on LT disability from his job, and is also stepping down as an elder in his church that he has served for more than 6 years. This is of his own request given the pressure of situations that he can no longer seem to handle or cope with. Stressful situations seem to trigger more significant reactions from him. He has been put on Aricept which seem to help with the mood swings he was having and for the time being, it seems I almost have a part of that cheerful, loving, active, social man I know as my father back. He was so depressed and angry for the past couple of years dealing with the knowledge that he could no longer do what he had done for so many years. He was a pilot for over 40 years and since retired from that to work in the church. They have a strong support system in the church, but being the oldest child of 3, I'm feeling helpless living half way across the country.

I have a family with two small children (4 and 1) and I want them to know their grandfather. He adores them and asks about them often. What can I do being so far away to foster these relationships and help my mother out. My brother is out of state as well, but does his best to get back as often as he can. My dad really identifies with him being the "boy" in the family and I know he really enjoys time with my husband for the same reason. Flights are so outrageous these days, it is hard to manage. My sister lives in town, but I hate to place the brunt of the burden on her. This is very difficult for me as I want to help everyone. Any sugguestions in small things I can assist with? I see them approx. 3-4 times a year, but I need to do more and it just doesn't seem to be enough time. I'm scared of not being close, that my family and I will lose precious time with my dad.

Thanks.

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