Guardianship/Conservatorship

Hi Jamie,

This is a tough-sounding situation, with the potential for family tension. My hunch is that your grandmother would feel most comfortable in a familiar place with familiar routines. It sounds like this might be challenging at her daughter's, as her daughter may have a new job; and certainly at her son's, as this will be a whole new home.  I'm wondering if you think everyone can sit down and talk about the situation as calmly as possible, vowing first  to put your grandmother's emotional comfort first. I do know that people with Alzheimer's are easily frightened by the unknown and unfamiliar; including changes. Since changes could be in store at either home, the family needs to be thinking about how best to help your grandmother make these transitions. Familiar faces and voices and objects, like pictures or blankets, may help. By the way, how wonderful that you're trying to help your grandmother in this way. I sure hope it's not a hornet's nest for you.

Thanks for the advice! The familiar stuff idea makes alot of sense. She has her own room at her daughter's and she put up her favorite paintings and did all the decorations herself.  She seems most comfortable in that room. We will have the opportunity talk about the situtation soon. Hopefully everyone can stay calm, and focused on her best interests.

Jamie, do keep us updated - everyone's experiences help everyone else when they're faced with similar situations. I hope everything turns out for the best!

Yes Jamie... as Laura said keep us posted on your grandmother.  It does sound like sticking with her familiar room would be a first choice, but if her daughter is going back to work, this might not be possible, unless there's in-home care.  If your grandma ends up at her son's, I'm hoping she can decorate her room to feel just like home. 

By the way, the conservatorship is meant to protect your grandmother, on the basis that she can no longer make sound financial or medical decisions. I don't know why it was granted to your grandmother's son versus daughter; these things can be complicated (and messy), but the whole point is to protect your grandmother. I hope things turn out well and you feel good about it.

They are currently working on determining conservatorship, between her daugher and son. Is it like a custody deal between divorcing parents? I just want to make sure that no matter what I can still see her.  And I will be sure to keep y'all informed. Thanks again for all the advice and support! :)

Hi again Jamie- We have a couple of laywers around here, and I'm going to ask them to take a look at the conservatorship questons. But meanwhile I'll take a lay person stab. Well, actually a "been there, done that" stab, as we went through this years ago with an uncle. In our case, a judge determined conservatorship based on a pile of evidence, including testimony from family members. There wasn't an real controversy, mainly because the cousin granted conservatorship was the only family member living close to my uncle, but the main issue was who would have authority to make medical and financial decisions for my uncle. It seemed clear that all family (and friends) could visit and fuss over my uncle as much as they wanted.  I'll see if I can drum up any more info for you.