Daily Hygiene

Hi Mary,

Have you thought about taking the angle with your dad that adhering to a schedule would be really helpful to in you getting the laundry done, etc.  If you knew there would be at least two towels and two outfits a day to wash, you could better predict your own schedule?  I know it sounds a little far fetched, but perhaps if you get your dad on board, he could influence your mom.

I'm hoping that others will have some more creative tips.  I mostly wanted to welcome you to Caring's groups and thank you for posting. 

My mother has alzheimer's.  She will wear the same sweater every day even though it has spots on it.  However, she showers every day, so I leave her alone on the clothes.  I have just taken the sweater and put in the wash.  I don't want to make her feel bad by commenting negatively on her appearance.  Just like with children, choose your battles!   I'm trying to allow  Mom as much dignity as possible for as long as possible,  The balance between the emotional and the practical in dealing with the alzheimer's person is about the hardest thing I ever tried to find.

I think others have given some good suggestions , but I also want to put in a word for not being so worried about wearing the same clothes more than once.

Maybe I'm kidding myself - but there are many cultures where people don't change their clothes every day. Especially, if your mom bathes and changes her undergarments, what's there to quibble with about wearing the same clothes a few times?

Tell your neighbors she's French!

All of the responses have been helpful.  It definitely goes beyond a few days that they wear the same outfits and I have snatched some clothes to wash inconspicuously.   I love the comment to tell the neighbors she is French.  I was living in France for two weeks during a drought....I understand! ! Keep the comments coming!  I haven't made it a battle...just trying to outsmart the situation if possible.

This is a dilemma for me too. When I encourage Mom to bathe you'd think I'd asked her to do a most onerous task. She fights and cries the whole time. I leave for work early in the mornings and caregivers are with her all day and they can't get her to bathe either most of the time. Sometimes the caregiver will arrive while Mom is still in bed and she can sometimes get Mom to take a sponge bath.

Might it help if you're able to find ways to make a game out of it? I know that sounds a bit childish, but even adults like to have some fun, too. :)

• Hi .....I am very new at this posting and all.   I don't know where to begin im feeling over whelmed . I love my mother in law  she has been recently diagnosed .......how do you know if they are milking the care giving or if it is legit.....im being honest please don't get upset ...i can't tell if its laziness or real I don't want to e be resentful.....my kids leave more often because she takes over the tv...she doesn't have any intrests ....and  alot of comotion aggitates her.....i work 40 hrs im a little affraid of leaving her at times .........i have recently noticed she doesn't care to shower...and we struggle with it being confusing...........boy i have unloaded i admire all of you  it's not easy ....im just begining and scared........

Hi Anonymous, was your mother in law lazy before diagnosis? If not then it's probably the disease that is making her so now. I highly recommend a book called "The 36 Hour Day". It helps to explain this disease in detail including behaviors and ways to work around them. I find that a lot of commotion agitates my mom too. I also recommend checking out the Alzheimer's Association website at www.alz.org. This is a tough disease for both the patient and the caregivers and family. My mom drives me crazy asking the same thing over and over. But that's a hallmark of this disease so I know that she can't help it. Hope this helps.

I care for my mom with Alzheimers also.  I dread the daily bath routine also.  I have found doing it at a different time like say mid morning works best for us.  I usually "trick" her while I am helping her change her Depend.  Actually, a daily bath isn't always necessary.  I feel better if she bathes everyday but it is not life threatening.  I also have invested in buying several of the same clothes so she THINKS she is getting her way, lol.....The truth is, there are no "right or wrong" answers..............Most times, you just have to pick your battles...........Good luck! 

My father has this horrible disease.  Hygiene is a big issue with him.  When he urinates, he usually pees on the floor (to the right), but he swears he didn't do it.  I tell Mom that at least he still goes to the bathroom.

However, he only showers about once a week.  When I ask him why, he responded "old people don't stink."  lol

Keep your sense of humor as long as you can.

Hi. Thats' funny! Thx 4 sharring. Stardust......../

A written bathing schedule may work for a while, but I think that more success will come with changing the method.  Sometimes people with Alzheimer's disease become very sensitive to sensory inputs.  The shower or bath is sometimes overload. The sound of water running (which echos), the feel of the water hititng them in the case of a shower. Its sometimes too much.  Try running the bathwater in advance or putting bath/shower seat in the bathing area. Also, consider attaching a shower head that can be held (and therefore controlled) by the person bathing.  Finally, sometimes just a little water  (ankle deep) while sitting on a shower/bath seat will work as well.  Just try to decrease the "drama" and you might see some results.  As for repeating clothes. If the body and underwear are clean, you should be okay.  Hope this is helpful.  Loretta

Lately, I have been using a written weekly schedule for their other activities/appointments....this might lead to the possibility of scheduling in their baths/showers/shampoos.  My mother was doing their laundry, but I am helping with that task more and more.  I find that if I verbally suggest a solution a few times casually , they  start to "buy in" to the idea.  Sometimes (because of odor), we have had to be a bit more blunt.  The information about sensory input is very helpful.  We have a shower bench and handheld shower head (since my mother's hip surgery), but I didn't think of the other issue.....she used to like to shampoo in the kitchen sink, but she has resisted that more lately....maybe it is the noise.  Thanks for the reassurance about not getting hung up on the clothing.  Certainly, when I read about more difficult situations, it gives me a perspective on how fortunate we are to manage the situation as it is, thus far, fairly easily.