I am married 17 years and my husband and I have had so much fun traveling with the USN, and enjoying each other, but when his father died in 2003' he was so hurt, and upset with his father's caregiver(his older brother), he start using cocaine. i think he started out with once in a while, now he buys it regularly. I love hime so much but I don't want a drug user for a husband. What should I do?
My husband's cocaine addiction
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SUZE responded 2 months ago :
Love him and get him help. I lost my mom a three years ago to nightmarish lung cancer (im talking amputation of two legs and fingers due to microvascular thrombosis) during this and after her death the only way i FELT I could survive was meth, pot, pills whatever i could get my hands on. The only problem with this is that it was an excuse for using, there was a deeper issue, ive been sober for two years now and only because i had loved ones that cared and loved me unconditionally...be his strength it sounds like he needs to do some soul searching but its hard to do it by yourself......
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Melanie Haiken responded 2 months ago :
I agree with Suze that he needs help. The problem is that he has to want that help, it's not enough for you to want it. I'd strongly suggest finding a local Al-Anon meeting; they are technically for spouses and families of alcoholics but there are lots of folks with various drugs as their substance of choice and it's really helpful in terms of understanding your role -- what you can do and what you can't. You might want to try a women's meeting; it can really help to hear from other women in the same boat. It can also help to look at ways that you might be supporting his addiction without meaning to by covering for him, helping him pay for drugs, etc. A key thing that needs to happen for him to want to quit is for him to feel the consequences of his actions. Good luck to both of you!
