caregivers quit because off alcoholic parent posted by Lisa B @ 01:41 PM April 25, 2008

Lisa B — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 13:41:21 -0000

Welcome! It definitely sounds like you are in a difficult situation :( I do agree with the previous poster's advice of trying different agencies until you find one who is willing to work with you and brainstorm some solutions.

If your father is truly physically abusive, however, you may need to look into the option of involuntarily commitment into a rehab-detox facility. You would need to look into the exact "rules" for this but in my state it involved taking the alcoholic to the ER (call an ambulance if needed), and then have the ER doctor on call declare that the person is a harm to themselves or others. Once you have a dr's approval, they can then be transferred to a rehabilitation facility and held for up to 72 hours, I believe. This worked sucessfully in the case of my mother. We basically did an intervention and she put up a HUGE fight, stated she'd rather die than go to a facility, etc etc. She finally wore down several hours later and voluntarily went but I think one of the main reasons she did was because we had the backup plan of "involuntary commitment" and she eventually realized she was going to have to go- either voluntarily or involuntarily. We had the help of a therpaist also with our intervention which was a huge help. After she was there a couple days and sobered up, she attended classes about the AA program and I am proud to say she has been sober for over a year now!

I definitely understand if you do not want to resort to this step- it's a huge decision and undertaking, but I wanted to throw it out there as an option. I know the decision would depend on how physically abusive he is to others and how much harm he is doing to himself as an alcoholic. In my case, my mother was living with us and while she was not abusive, we could not continue to live with her and her behaviors as an alcoholic- especially with small children in the house.

caregivers quit because off alcoholic parent posted by Anonymous @ 05:34 AM April 22, 2008

Anonymous — Tue, 22 Apr 2008 05:34:39 -0000

You're in a really tricky situation here, but remember, caregiving agencies are faced with tricky situations all the time; that's their business. I suggest scheduling a meeting with the caregiver and the agency representative, and just lay all your cards on the table. Explain what they can expect from your dad, and then put in their lap by asking, how do you handle situations like these? Their main concern is going to be the safety and comfort of their employees, so they will want to determine if your dad is ever physically abusive, in which case they probably won't take your case. However, if it's just a question of an unpleasant atmosphere, you can strategize together how to minimize this. They might suggest having the caregiver arrive early, knock, then allow your dad a few minutes to pull himself together before they come in, for example. If the agency doesn't want to take your case, don't panic; someone will. Keep going until you get the right agency and the right caregiver.

caregivers quit because off alcoholic parent posted by Anonymous @ 08:00 PM April 21, 2008

Anonymous — Mon, 21 Apr 2008 20:00:26 -0000

I can't care for my father, who is an alcoholic with multiple health issues, as much as I'd like. So I've tried to hire help through caregiver services. But then my dad gets drunk and passes out and the next morning when the caregiver arrives, the place is torn up, he's out of it and sometimes even abusive. I've had one caregiver quit already and one agency say they can't help me. I've tried calling the night before to remind my dad the caregiver's coming and ask him to be in decent shape the next day and that's not enough. Does anyone have any suggestions?

Recent Posts in 'caregivers quit because off alcoholic parent' | Caring.com

caregivers quit because off alcoholic parent posted by Lisa B @ 01:41 PM April 25, 2008

caregivers quit because off alcoholic parent posted by Anonymous @ 05:34 AM April 22, 2008

caregivers quit because off alcoholic parent posted by Anonymous @ 08:00 PM April 21, 2008