Questions About Caregiver Burnout

1. What do you do when you as a caregiver, just lose it?

   Question - Most if not all the comments seem to be from emotional people,likely female.I have always been an unemotional hard a--.When I was a young child my Mother would say "Bill,your going to be an old fart all your life"how correct she was.I am now 84 and my wife's only caregiver and a person she never knew...
   30 Community Answers

2. FAQ: Is It Normal to Feel Depressed as a Caregiver?

   Question - It's inevitable that caregivers will have periods of time when they are unhappy. Caregiving is very demanding and should be expected to trigger a range of emotions. At times this will include good feelings, but it will also include sadness, anxiety, and the blues...
   FAQ 1 Expert Answer

3. How can I help my father cope with my bipolar mother?

   Question - My mother is 73 and has bipolar disease. Right now, she is MANIC! She is the queen of denial, refuses to take medicine, and is ruining the quality of life for her and my father. I live 6 hours from her and am looking for a support group for my father in the Bullhead City AZ area. Anybody have any inspiration or hope...

4. How can I stop feeling so anxious and relieve caregiver stress?

   Question - The symptoms you describe, and the fact that you are responsible for both parents tells me that you are overburdened and need more support. Of course, others in your situation also feel burnout. Many caregivers also suffer from depression. While you can't change your parents' condition, you can do things for yourself...
   1 Expert Answer, 44 Community Answers

5. How do I help my mother stay less stressed while caring for my father?

   Question - Obviously you can't drop everything to help your mom 24/7, as you must also take care of your own needs. This can be a lengthy disease process and even secondary caregivers are subject to burnout. Fortunately there are several different ways you can ease her load.
   1 Expert Answer, 2 Community Answers

6. Our stepmom wants to put Dad in a facility, but we want him to stay home. What's best?

   Question - If there is a Brighton Gardens Alzheimer's/dementia specialist assisted living facility in her area you should talk with them. Residents live there on a month-to-month basis and the charges for care are based on the level of assistance the resident needs...
   3 Community Answers

7. How can I deal with my husband's worsening Alzheimer's symptoms?

   Question - You are a spouse caring for a husband with Alzheimer’s. I wish we could call you a warrior instead of a caregiver.
   1 Expert Answer

8. My Step-granddad should go to a nursing home but I don't know how to get him there. (UK)

   Question - I have a huge dilemma. My grandmother and step-granddad separated 13 years ago. My grandmother moved out but my mother stayed as it was her house they both lived in, and my mum has been taking care of my step-granddad ever since as my mum was afraid of asking him to leave as he was there since she was 3...

9. Does this poem hit home???

   Question - This poem is really good. I'm doing a presentation on tuesday 2/1/11 in my nursing class on helping caregivers and i was wondering if i could use your poem. my email is aleonns@q.com
   1 Community Answer

10. How can I move on with my life without hurting my disabled husband?

    Question - Your spouse is totally disabled and bedridden and has been for 20+ years in which you have been caring for her. I think under those circumstances you are not considered a scumbag, just someone who has been lonely for a long time. I understand the loneliness as our children are grown too and one wants me to stay the other says leave...
    11 Community Answers

11. Could my sister's incontinence be a behavioral issue?

    Question - I am at my wits end. I care for my 53 year old sister who, since being released from a recent hospital stay has ruined her bed, the carpet and I have spend hundreds on detergent to wash her clothes. She has been incontinent at home since her return home...

12. How do you handle confusion and frustration over not remembering information?

    Question - You certainly describe the situation perfectly and rest assured the same scenario is occurring in hundreds of AD-homes across the country. You are completely justified in expressing concern about Dad's repeated need to share information with your Mom that only results in frustration and confusion when he expects her to recall the info...
    1 Expert Answer, 1 Community Answer

13. How can I keep our caregiving situation from ruining our marriage?

    Question - Hello,
    1 Community Answer

14. How do you tell a loved one that she needs to move into a nursing home before she gets hurt?

    Question - Talking with an aging parent about their need for ongoing care can be a challenge. The ideal way method is to approach the elder in the same way you would a valued friend, your peer. If your friend is blind and depressed and needs care that cannot be supplied long term by family and friends, how would you begin a discussion...
    1 Expert Answer

15. What information can I give dad so he doesn't stress out mom who has Alzheimer's?

    Question - Before we get to the general issues in your question, let’s acknowledge that taking a trip right may not be the best idea. Anesthesia and the physical trauma of surgery often aggravate dementia and most knee surgeries require specific rehabilitation and possibly physical therapy. Your mother’s surgeurgeon should have discussed this with your father...
    1 Expert Answer, 1 Community Answer

16. Does everyone have a difficult time transitioning to nursing home, or did I just make a bad choice?

    Question - It's very difficult to answer this question without knowing the reason he was sent to a skilled nursing. If he has dementia then this behavior is not necessarily unusual. You just need to keep up on what's going on until things calm down.
    1 Expert Answer

17. How do I help Mom handle her hallucinations, and stop feeling guilty about getting upset with her?

    Question - Your mother’s behavior and imaginings are pretty typical symptoms of Alzheimer’s and most related dementias, aggravated in people who have little stimulation in the way of purposeful activities and social interaction. Loneliness often leads to depression as well as illness. Your mother needs stimulamulation...
    1 Expert Answer

18. When I visit my Alzheimer's-suffering wife at the nursing home, she gets very upset as I leave; Is there anything I can do?

    Question - This must be so heart-breaking for you. Even though you recognize this placement as being the most appropriate caregiving solution, I'm sure you must be devastated at each visit when you hear her plea to leave with you. The difference between your emotional pain and that of your wife is that it remains...
    1 Expert Answer, 14 Community Answers

19. Should I feel guilty for being unhappy with my caregiving situation?

    Question - I'm glad that my words helped. You also may seek out a formal support group for those caring for loved ones. There are lots of them out there that people really don't know. Try starting with the Alzheimer's Association at www.alz.org.
    2 Expert Answers, 4 Community Answers

20. How can I handle the stress of my father's rapid decline?

    Question - I can hear your sadness and anxiety in your words. You are not alone in feeling this way. Every caregiver goes through it. You have every right to feel the way you do. Never feel like you can't express your feelings. I wouldn't express these with your father, but find a confidant to listen, cry, or scream with you...
    1 Expert Answer, 1 Community Answer

21. We don't want to pay our caregiver while our parents are on vacation, but we don't want to lose her as a caregiver either; what should we do?

    Question - My elderly parents are taking a two week trip to visit my sister. About 6 months ago, we finally found a good caregiver through an agency for my parents. The agency cannot guarantee that they will be able to find our caregiver temporary work while my parents are away. She is the sole bread winner for her family and has two little children...

22. Alzheimer's caregiving makes me feel like I'm losing my mind, how can I avoid a total break down?

    Question - Dear Over the Edge:
    1 Expert Answer

23. My parents require 24 hour care, but we can't afford to hire someone. What should I do?

    Question - Unfortunately, even the best, most well-meaning caregivers cannot provide adequate in-home care for chronically ill parents indefinitely. The quality of care will suffer, the caregivers will become overwhelmed or unable to maintain their other commitments, or there will be a crisis that cannot be managed...
    1 Expert Answer, 5 Community Answers

24. This family needs help - what can be done for them?

    Question - Your question about a close relative caregiver who needs help and doesn't know where to get it has a lot of parts. First, let's consider the mom who has dementia.
    1 Expert Answer, 3 Community Answers

25. How should I talk to my friend's about my father's Alzheimer's with out being a downer?

    Question - You are so right there is "no happy ending to Alzheimer's". Talking to others about Alzheimer's may even push some of the negative things to the surface. It seems that we, the carepartners, have only two choices when it comes to responding to friends who ask about how our loved ones 'are doing'.
    1 Expert Answer, 3 Community Answers

26. How do I make sure Dad gets the breaks he needs while taking care of Mom who has Alzheimer's?

    Question - Gosh it must be so difficult for you to watch your mom progress with Alzheimer's disease (AD) and to be concerned about your dad at the same time. It's difficult enough to have an AD parent in your life without the added worry about the caregiver parent. You are not alone. This is one of the most frequently asked questions...
    1 Expert Answer, 4 Community Answers

27. How should I handle my mother in law trying to take over the caregiving of my husband?

    Question - Having a husband who is ill and may have leukemia must be very tough. My heart goes out to you. The feelings you are having are complex enough and in addition you are dealing with equally complex feelings by your husband and by his mother. This can be a difficult time...
    1 Expert Answer, 1 Community Answer

28. What can I say to my mom with dementia when I have to leave so she isn't so sad?

    Question - For dutiful daughters, guilt seems to be a by-product of caring. Most likely part of your guilt stems from the feeling that you relinquished an essential part of what you perceive to be nurturing. Even when the need for placement in a nursing home is clear, the action itself may be a powerful blow to your maternal tie...
    1 Expert Answer, 7 Community Answers

29. Where can I get assistance for counseling for myself with out Medi-Cal?

    Question - I'm glad to hear it- you needed the move & your mother is getting the care she needs w/out it all being on you. ;-D
    3 Community Answers

30. What part of Mom's care should I focus on if she has mild Alzheimer's?

    Question - First of all, relax. Nothing is going to change drastically anytime soon. I appreciate that you took your mother to a specialist and got a diagnosis and I appreciate that you’re trying to prepare yourself for the repercussions of the diagnosis. Truth is no-one can predict exactly what will happen inin the future or when your mother will need more help...
    1 Expert Answer

31. Is it wrong for me to put my mother in a home even if she doesn't want to go?

    Question - I am 70yrs. old trying to care for 91yr. old Mother. Living with me. I just cannot do it anymore. My health is no good. I feel guilty sending her to home, she does not want to go. No one else to help. I am the only one. Am I wrong to want to send her so I can have some kind of life. I have pra and serval more health conditions and my nerves are totally gone...

32. How can I get my husband with dementia to let me help him when he has "accidents"?

    Question - My heart goes out to you as I read of your frustration that so obviously stems from your love for him. More important than his incontinence, is the need to take care of yourself. If something were to happen to you, who then would be the caregiver for your husband...
    1 Expert Answer

33. I think my dad is reaching burnout levels as a caregiver, how should I start talking to him about assisted living?

    Question - I have 2 siblings, both of whom live out of town. I am the only child who lives in the same town as our parents. My parents are both 86, my mom has dementia and they still live in their own home. Both of my parents have other medical issues as well...

34. Sometimes caregiving for mom is just too much and just don't know what way to turn anymore, what can I do?

    Question - This does sound like a difficult situation. So it’s time to take some action, not only to help your mom, but also to reduce your stress. I know that you’re feeling as if the situation is hopeless, but if you use the resources that are available to you and make some changes, you’ll find that things rings really can improve...
    1 Expert Answer

35. How to set boundaries, be true to yourself and have empathy for our loved ones?

    Question - One thing that I'm realizing is that everyone needs to set boundaries...if someone has dementia, this will not work but in most other cases and even with our parents, we need to set boundaries...temporarily blocking phone calls (I did this one for self-preservation) I realized also that I need to stand...

36. Can we take my mother-in-law to her daughter's house without her permission? We have POA.

    Question - My mother in law has Alzheimer's. can we take her to her daughters house an drop her off at daughters work or home if she does not know we are coming we are POA for her but we need a break and they give us all kinds of excuses can we get in trouble for doing this

37. My has moved in and now, I can't get any time alone. What should I do?

    Question - My partner and I agreed to have my mom move in with us over a year ago to help her get resettled in Canada, which would prove a better arrangement in her aging years with better health coverage etc., and to have her close by. There have been multiple snags with her application which have created substantial...

38. Do you think your parents planned you to be their caregiver?

    Question - Hello Anonymous, Thank you for posting your thoughts and caregiving challenges. Consider visiting a few of our other resources, which may be helpful to you in your quest for support:
    6 Community Answers

39. How can I keep myself well if I have renal failure and am the sole caregiver for my husband?

    Question - I am a caegivier for my husband who has vascular dementia and very severe emphysema. He is on 24/7 oxygen, 3 liters, and any exertion renders him breathless. I have renal failure and go to dialysis 3 times per week. I have to do all the shopping, bagging, in & out of the car. We both are over weight by 100 lbs...

40. How can I get help to prevent caregiver burnout?

    Question - first thing to do is take a few deep breaths,calm down and start looking into some volunteer people in your area. I too have my dementia mother 24/7, just gave up my life in NY to take care of her and my father who just passed 3 wks ago. Even if it for a few hours,take care of yourself and try not to get overwhelmed...
    4 Community Answers

41. How can I get my husband with dementia realize that he can no longer make the same commitments he used to?

    Question - PS to Frena, I'll be in your area around the holidays. I'd love to meet you and compare notes. We're coming form the same place. - Bisbee could probably benefit form an Alzheimer's Cafe, what do you think?
    3 Expert Answers, 4 Community Answers

42. Am I a terrible person for not wanting to be a caregiver anymore?

    Question - I am not sure why the above post came up as anonymous, but it doesn't matter. It is mine. Some days with my brother (of course) are better than others. At times he is good, & at times I handle the stress better so that is what keeps me sane I guess...
    1 Community Answer

43. Is it normal to feel like you are a prisoner in your own home when caregiving for a spouse with dementia?

    Question - Your husband is lucky to have you. You obviously love him very much to give up a job to care for him. You ask if it’s common to feel trapped as the sole caregiver. Absolutely! And you need to take care of yourself as well. There’s no question that you must bring someone in to help you...
    1 Expert Answer, 1 Community Answer

44. How can I get additional caregiving help for someone who doesn't like stranges in her home?

    Question - It sounds to me as if your friend is more work than you can handle. She needs a great deal of nursing care related to her multiple medical conditions that seem beyond what you could possibly do alone. Take your pals' advice and get some additional help...
    1 Expert Answer, 1 Community Answer

45. My grandparents need help but are stubborn!

    Question - Your question raises a number of problems, among them the issue of your grandparents needing care but not wanting it. What can be done depends on quite a number of factors.
    1 Expert Answer, 1 Community Answer

46. What are some methods to deal with caregiver stress?

    Question - Stress, in and of itself, is not bad. Contrary to popular opinion, people need stress in order to function properly. It provides encouragement and drive to accomplish what we set out to do in life.
    1 Sponsored Expert Answer

47. What are the symptoms of caregiver stress?

    Question - It is important to be able to identify the signs of caregiver stress to protect yourself from overload. Caregiver stress has emotional symptoms and physical symptoms.
    1 Sponsored Expert Answer

48. Can I refuse to continue to be my father's caretaker?

    Question - What a problem you have, and how I wish there was an easy answer. Unfortunately my knowledge of resources for non-seniors is limited, so I sought advice from two professionals in Michigan. Some ideas were to start with the Area Agency on Aging to see if there are any resources available...
    1 Expert Answer

49. What are the statistics of caregiver stress?

    Question - There have been a number of studies investigating the causes and impacts of caregiver stress. Caregiver stress is a physical, psychological, financial or social pressure placed on a caregiver. Here are some statistics that I found particularly relevant:
    1 Sponsored Expert Answer

50. Is it wrong to be paid to care for your partner?

    Question - Caring for your partner is a key part of a reciprocal relationship—it’s even in wedding vows. So I understand why some people have reservations about being paid for offering this care. But I don’t believe it to be wrong.
    1 Sponsored Expert Answer

51. How can you prevent caregiver burnout?

    Question - Caregiver burnout is defined as emotional or physical exhaustion brought on by a long period of distress. Fortunately, there are many ways you can take care of yourself to reduce your risk of burnout. These tactics fall into two categories: self-care and self-preservation.
    1 Sponsored Expert Answer

52. What are the symptoms of caregiver burnout?

    Question - Three years ago, I walked into my kitchen to find my 16-year-old daughter in a full seizure. She was diagnosed with a brain tumor, and we were in and out of the hospital with her for months as doctors tried to stabilize her condition with medications.
    1 Sponsored Expert Answer

53. What are the statistics for caregiver burnout?

    Question - What are the statistics for caregiver burnout?

54. What is the definition of caregiver burnout?

    Question - Caregiver burnout is defined as emotional or physical exhaustion brought on by a long period of distress. Emotional exhaustion leads to burnout much more frequently than physical exhaustion.
    1 Sponsored Expert Answer

55. How should you deal with caregiver burnout syndrome?

    Question - The first step in dealing with this issue is recognizing that the stress of caring for a loved one is becoming overwhelming. Many folks, especially those in our “greatest generation,” feel obligated to take on all the challenges of caring for others, especially their sp...
    1 Sponsored Expert Answer

56. How can we calm an abusive dementia patient?

    Question - There are really many techniques for calming an abusive dementia patient. To calm an agitated person with dementia, most techniques revolve around the caregivers being trained on a) the disease itself, b)how to approach the person prior to speaking or interacting, and c) how to react when there is some belligerence...
    1 Expert Answer, 7 Community Answers

57. Where do I start sorting through providing care for my husband with dementia?

    Question - Family caregivers often express that the period following the initial diagnosis of a loved ones dementia is the most stressful time. Some say it is 'surreal' or like an out of body experience-or as you say, "living in Oz". As they struggle to learn all about the disease and embark on long term care planning...
    1 Expert Answer, 1 Community Answer

58. Could Mom's bad behavior be the start of Alzheimer's? And what type of doctor should we see?

    Question - The geriatrician's input would be certainly useful. If your mother has a short-term memory deficit, she is most likely developing Alzheimer's disease. However, that may not be the main reason for her behavior. She may be refusing help and doing activities because she is depressed...
    1 Expert Answer, 5 Community Answers

59. How do you keep mentally well while caring for a parent with Alzheimer's?

    Question - I am so sorry to hear that both your parents have Alzheimer’s Disease. As you have experienced, grieving is an ongoing process through this illness, because the person with the illness slowly slips away. It is important to recognize, however, the illness does not have to be a miserable experience e for the person who has it...
    1 Expert Answer, 12 Community Answers

60. I'm at the end of my rope caring for Mom, but she refuses outside help. Help!

    Question - I am the sole caregiver for my mom, plus I am a full time single parent to my 15 year old son. He helps me when I ask him too, but I don't think its fair for him to have to do this 24/7.

61. How can I convince them it's time for a nursing home?

    Question - Hello. My parents are in their early 60s and both are still working. My maternal grandmother is 100, and my parents have been caring for her at home for at least the past 10 years. My grandmother can't hear, can't see, can't walk independently, but her mind is intact...

62. Should I stop him from coming home?

    Question - My husband has been in 24 hour care for 6 months and is improving because of care. He now wants to come home and has been insisting on 24 hour visits home. He got two three-day stints over the holidays. He still cannot come home as he is just too frail and it will drive me to elder abuse. Should I stop the overnight visits...

63. How do I balance caring for my demanding mother and participating in my family?

    Question - Setting limits with the people you love is a difficult but necessary part of life. That being said, your mother has made that a particularly challenging task. She has made a choice to stop medical treatment, though that treatment might improve her symptoms dramatically. As a result of this choice, she needs to be taken care of and the burden is on you...
    1 Expert Answer, 5 Community Answers

64. How do I know if my mother-in-law's symptoms are related to her cancer or dementia/

    Question - Caring for someone with dementia and another life threatening disease like cancer that has already metastasized can be very demanding. You try to give comfort and treatment but you are not sure it is what your mother-in-law wants or needs.
    1 Expert Answer, 2 Community Answers

65. Can I get financial help for respite care?

    Question - Forgot, I'm the accountant now also. A time consuming job alone. Especially when "hypoxia" affected him and clerical errors were made.
    1 Community Answer

66. Why might I be more agitated during the day than the night?

    Question - It is hard to give you a definitive answer to this question without more information, however I can give you some things to consider. It may be the caretaking is wearing you down, and if the person you are assisting goes to sleep or has less needs after the sun goes down, it may be you are finally able to relax and feel free and energized...
    1 Expert Answer, 1 Community Answer

67. How can we make visits to the nursing home easier on us all?

    Question - The best advice I can offer you is to give it time. Transitions are tough for all involved. The decision to place a family member in a nursing home is one of the most difficult – particularly if the older adult prefers to remain at home. Often it takes time to accept that there was no other way (lologistically...
    1 Expert Answer, 3 Community Answers

68. Is her new medicine really a good idea?

    Question - My mother has dementia and seizures. She is taking Dilantin and Kepra for the seizures, 300 mg. a day of Dilantin and 500mg Kepra. Today the doctor at the nursing home prescribed Seroquel. She is already unsteady on her feet and falls frequently. I'm worried that this new drug will make it worse. I don't know why he prescribed the drug...

69. How can I best deal with my father-in-law's dementia and anger?

    Question - This might sound odd but see if you can find music he likes. We got a Roku box for our television and a Netflix account, and have found all kinds of old Dean Martin, Frank Sinatra, Bobby Darin and Tom Jones variety shows that we can play for her non-stop, and the service also includes Pandora radio...
    2 Community Answers

70. How can I help Mom care for Dad?

    Question - My mother cares for my dad who is suffering from dementia as a result of small strokes and small blood vessel damage from diabetes. In addition, he he doesn't walk well anymore and needs constant help to get around. While she is doing a great job, I am concerned that she is frequently mad at him...

71. How long can one live with Congestive Heart Failure?

    Question - My mom was diagnosed with Congestive Heart Failure (CHF) sixteen years ago. She has been to the hospital four times in the last three months. She gets better in the hospital and then worsens within two to three weeks of coming home. How will I know that it is close to the end

72. How can I tell my mother she can no longer drive?

    Question - Why you feel you need to be the fall guy or bad guy is beyond me? I think it would be better for her Dr to be the one, you can always be there if you want. Good luck
    2 Community Answers

73. Should I consider placing Mom in an Alzheimer's care unit to preserve my own health?

    Question - I certainly understand your struggle, and you clearly meant what you said when you promised your mom to never place her in a nursing home. However, what you were really promising is that you would be there for your mom and only do what you believed would be in her best interest. In the end, that is the best thing we can do for our parents...
    1 Expert Answer, 7 Community Answers

74. How do I avoid Alzheimer's caregiver burnout?

    Question - Hello, Both of my parents have Alzheimer's. They live in separate assisted living facilities. My mother is much more independent and able to participate in activities so it is best they remain where they are.

75. Are Mom's medications not working?

    Question - Alzheimer medication side effects are both plentiful and mysterious particularly when more than one medical issue exists. Not every patient reacts the same way to the different meds which confounds the prescription process often leading carepartners to assume the doctor is not appropriately managing their loved one's care...
    1 Expert Answer, 2 Community Answers

76. How can I help my mother with the stress of caring for my grandmother?

    Question - One thing you might look into is finding a caregiver who might come in a few hours a week to provide some respite for your mother. Hiring someone through an agency will run about $20 an hour, depending on the location.
    1 Expert Answer, 4 Community Answers

77. How can I keep from keeping my patience and not yelling at Dad, who has dementia?

    Question - Keeping patience while caring for someone with dementia can be a herculean effort. This is a wonderful question because the writer easily admits her fraility; so many caregivers are experienceing these same feelings without the ability to articulate their humanness...
    1 Expert Answer

78. Mom will only let me help her and I'm beginning to resent it.

    Question - Caring for a loved one at home is, as you’ve found out, a daunting task. Because your mom has multiple healthcare problems and dementia, the challenges can be overwhelming.
    1 Expert Answer, 4 Community Answers

79. It's so depressing to see my grandmother deal with Alzheimer's. How long can it go on like this?

    Question - I understand your emotional roller coaster regarding your aunt, and the feelings of powerlessness and sadness you feel as you witness her decline.
    1 Expert Answer

80. Did the surgery make his dementia worse?

    Question - It’s very likely that the surgery caused the acceleration your husband’s dementia. Physical or emotional trauma can cause a sharp decline in people with dementia; the anesthesia given during surgery is particularly troublesome. Anesthesia is known to cause or escalate cognitive impairment in some pee people, while others are unscathed...
    1 Expert Answer

81. How do you juggle caring for your own family and your ill loved one?

    Question - My sister-in-law (husband's sister) is currently in home hospice care. She's been fighting melanoma for years. In January, she had surgery and had most of her small intestine removed. She spent almost a month in ICU and it was touch and go. She is now at home. She is 48 years old and just found and married her husband 5 years ago...

82. Mom won't put Dad in a nursing home, but we think she should.

    Question - Your mother’s approach to caring for your dad is steeped in tradition and experience. She can recall having heard or visited nursing homes many years ago when they were often terrible places that warehoused very old and very ill people. She also comes from a time when the marriage vows, including,g...
    1 Expert Answer, 9 Community Answers

83. At what stage of dementia should I place my wife in a home?

    Question - You are right. Putting your wife in a care home likely will be the hardest thing you will ever do. Unfortunately, there is no easy, right or wrong, answer. My short answer is to follow your gut and allow your self to be with your wife as a husband, not as a caregiver. Unfortunately, this may be at the cost of not living in the same house...
    1 Expert Answer

84. Severe personality changes after strokes?

    Question - Dear Caring Member, Unfortunately severe personality changes after a stroke is very common. First off your intense sense of lack of appreciation is so important. Let's first address the need to better take care of yourself. You need all the support you can get whether from community or online. Please look into National Family Caregiver Alliance...
    1 Expert Answer

85. I feel I am not doing my best to care for Gran, but I can't get motivated.

    Question - It sounds like you are trying your best to do what you believe is right. You want to give your grandmother comfort and caring. You don't say much about why your grandmother needs "complete care" and you don't say much about yourself. When you are the primary caretaker for someone who is no longer...
    1 Expert Answer, 3 Community Answers

86. We don't really know anything about strokes; are these things normal?

    Question - Sorry to hear about your situation. It sounds like your grandfather is having "aphasia", "encephalopathy", and possibly depression.
    1 Expert Answer

87. Will Mom ever give me a break?

    Question - I have been retired for 8 years. I now work part time every other weekend so that I can care for mom's needs during the day during the week as my sister works. Mom lives with my sister but my sister is gone all day almost every day so it is mostly the dinner meals that she is concerned with and weekends...

88. Where can I find someone to be a mediator between my mom, her care providers and myself?

    Question - You will be able to find a mediator for your mom and the caregivers. You have asked for help in such a clear and heartfelt way.
    1 Expert Answer, 8 Community Answers

89. Should I have to give up my life to help my mother and grandmother?

    Question - Stop and think: How many years did you feel trapped being Cared for By your mother? Now you feel trapped caring for your mother and your grandmother.
    1 Expert Answer, 37 Community Answers

90. How can I support my husband in caring for his dad with dementia?

    Question - Your father-in-law needs a complete psychiatric assessment immediately. It appears that the medications he is taking are not effective. Use the "fix the problem" approach to dealing with his perceptions. If he thinks the neighbors are out to get him, for example, let him know that you are taking care of the situation for him...
    1 Expert Answer, 2 Community Answers

91. I don't want my parents to live with us anymore.

    Question - Dear Caregiver, Yes PLEASE do give yourself permission to let your parents move back out on their own. It is important that you continue to be involved in their lives and that they are safe living independently. Use of a geriatric care manager to oversee how your parents are doing would be a great stress reliever...
    1 Expert Answer, 13 Community Answers

92. My husband, who has dementia, is refusing to do anything for himself- how do I handle this?

    Question - Dementia caregivers like yourself often express that understanding their spouses' progressive behavior changes can be challenging. They often are confused whether a change like a spouse refusing to help himself reflects that he can no longer perform that specific task or that his reluctance is intentional and a call for attention...
    1 Expert Answer, 4 Community Answers

93. How can we get mom to take a step back from being a controlling caregiver?

    Question - You learned years ago to “set up boundaries” with your mom and now it’s time to reinforce them. The good news is that it sounds as if you were successful once in modifying her behavior. Spend a few moments thinking back to what you did before and why it worked. Chances are it would again.
    1 Expert Answer, 5 Community Answers

94. I need caregiving help!

    Question - I barely have my own head above water and can't take care of my mother who is bipolar, suicidal, and has Alzheimer's/dementia.

95. How do I deal with conflicting feelings of responsibility and resentment?

    Question - At your age my dear you should be enjoying life not resenting it. Get in touch with your friends family and tell them like it or not you are sending her home to be with her family. You have given so much of yourself, and no doubt your health issues' have alot to do with stress. Tell you friend that under the circumstances' with your health etc...
    6 Community Answers

96. depression help caregiver

    Question - my mother a great lady she take care of her boyfriend who can use heleft side of his body.She get depression she take med for it.She normal just yells and she feels better.love you mom your great.
    1 Community Answer

97. Is it wrong to want to make my sister help?

    Question - You are an amazing survivor in spite of your sibling being unwilling to help with the caregiving of dad. If is unfortunate that your sisters mental illness has become so toxic to you. It is unlikely that she will ever truly appreciate all that your did for mom and all that you continue to do for dad...
    1 Expert Answer, 6 Community Answers

98. How can I tell if Mom, who has COPD, is okay when I'm caring from a distance?

    Question - Eight months ago my mother was told she had six months to live. She has COPD. I live in Florida and she lives in Texas. I have offered to move there to help her (I am her only child) but she has these three people (two of which use to be her gardeners) that she says are taking "wonderful" care of her...

99. How do I deal with caregiver anger from my brother?

    Question - Thank you so much for describing how your brother's anger is affecting both you and your mother for whom he is her caregiver. The resentment from your brother is not uncommon. He has taken over the 24/7 responsibilities for your mother's daily needs and most likely resents your having an outside life...
    1 Expert Answer, 36 Community Answers

100. How do we deal with the care my obese father needs?

     Question - Caring for an obese parent is challenging because there are two questions. One is how to deal with the extra weight and the other is why food is such an issue for this person.
     1 Expert Answer, 4 Community Answers