CommunityDiscussions About Caregiver Burnout

1. Need To Let Off Some Steam!

   Community Discussion - I have posted here before, it's probably been at least a year or two ago. My mom lives with us. She is 85 and has been legally blind for 10 years. She is almost totally blind now and extremely hard of hearing. She is sweet, kind, generous and thankful. I have nothing to complain about and yet I feel like I could just flip out...

2. How Can I Help My Dad Without Going Crazy

   Community Discussion - I have a five month old son. I live thousands of miles away from my parents. I am not too close to my father but was always to my mother who has dementia. I have had severe depression most of my life and this is really taking it's toll on me...

3. The Thoughts That Keep Caregivers Up at Night

   Community Discussion - What is that one thing that your mind simply won't let go and keeps you tossing and turning in bed all night long?

4. Living with my dad has me on my last nerve and I NEED TO VENT!

   Community Discussion - Where in the world should I post to vent off steam with people that will understand and possibly give me some much needed advice?

5. Mom Had A Stroke Many Questions Help!

   Community Discussion - Glad to find this group. I am hoping some of you folks can give me some insights. I have so many questions. I dropped everything and flew across the country and have been here since. I have many questions but am now trying to decide what I should do to help care for Mom...

6. My health is suffering yet no one can be bothered to care about ME!

   Community Discussion - Why should I bother? I've been diagnosed with diabetes and the doctors haven't helped me. I've had to take time off work and away from caring for my mom and I get berated for trying to take care of me!

7. SIL Tries To Run Things and Then Leaves Us With All The Blame!

   Community Discussion - My SIL feels she knows what's best for my MIL, but all she does is criticize and blame us when we're the ones actually taking care of her!

8. How long can someone live after tube feedings are stopped?

   Community Discussion - We are keeping a bedside vigil but are strained after 25 days of 24 hour care. What is the longest someone who was already ill can live without tube feedings?

9. Trying to balance caring for Mom with my own family is making me lose it!

   Community Discussion - Mom's moving in - again - and I just cannot take the stress anymore.

10. My mom needs so much care and my siblings won't do anything but criticize me!

    Community Discussion - Do my siblings help? Of course not - but they love to criticize!

11. Fear From The Inside Out

    Community Discussion - I am sitting with my Mom and I see her deteriorating and I am scared. Will I be able to make the hard choice when the time comes? Will I be able to leave my Mom and go to work, once she can no longer communicate? I feel like I am frozen from the inside o

12. Have I Completely Lost My Mind, Thinking I Could Live With My Parents?

    Community Discussion - I moved in to help my parents, and now I think this decision is going to kill me!

13. I've become so resentful about caring for my mom!

    Community Discussion - My brothers told me that when I sold her house, they thought that was to keep her out of a nursing home. Well I HAVE DONE THAT!! FOR 5 YEARS!!! I'm absolutely exhausted!! I can't leave her alone and they refuse to help.

14. Grandma overreacts when I talk about my dying husband!

    Community Discussion - Every time I try to tell her what is going on with my hubby's condition, she tells me she is shaking, she can't sleep, and she feels like she is going to have a heart attack!

15. Am I losing myself amid all the caregiving?

    Community Discussion - I spend a LOT of my time taking care of my husband and my mother's needs, and I feel lost sometimes. When do I take care of myself?

16. Feeling Very Alone - Too Much, Too Soon.

    Community Discussion - just needing to vent... father, 72, diabetes, pacemaker, below the knee amputation, dialysis x3/wk, broken ribs, broken hip, feeding tubes, MRSA, mild dementia, incontinent, chf, unable to walk. has been in either hospital or ltcf since end of 2008 w/exception of two two-week stints @ home and last 6 months @ home...

17. Do iPads work well for dementia patients?

    Community Discussion - If they work for autistic kids, would they work to help dementia/Alzheimer's patients, too?

18. Dad Is Refusing Medication And Won't See A Doctor!

    Community Discussion - My husband is caught in the middle--his dad is refusing care, and yet is complaining about feeling bad, and he keeps saying he wants to die, because he has lived too long.

19. Beyond Fed Up With Grandma

    Community Discussion - She can't take care of herself, and it's become too much for us, as well.

20. He was a verbally abusive husband - and now he has Alzheimer's and she is depressed.

    Community Discussion - My sister is withering away in depression. She should have left him years ago...

21. He's Acting Jealous Of Grandkids!

    Community Discussion - Before the accident he was very loving to my grandson and now calls him names and has even thrown the tv remote at him because he was playing and making normal playing noises.

22. Don't Know Which Way To Turn - I'm Burning Out.

    Community Discussion - Having to care for our great-grandmother is taking me away from my own family. I'm tired and hurting and I don't know what to do.

23. Sister With Dementia Is In Denial...

    Community Discussion - I am my sister's caregiver. She is 89 with dementia. However, she is in denial - and resents everything I am handling for her.

24. Today I Am Scared.

    Community Discussion - Caring for my wife's mother is leaving us feeling as if we are paddling in circles and our money is running out.

25. Having trouble helping Mom sleep with her Alzheimer's - any medication successes?

    Community Discussion - We adjusted Mom's medication and her sleeping habits changed. Anyone have any good suggestions or medications that worked well for an Alzheimer's patient?

26. I'm scared and lost and feeling so alone.

    Community Discussion - I am scared of losing my home. I am scared of losing my husband. I am scared of the things that I think.

27. Lost It Today With Dad

    Community Discussion - He thinks he knows everything and won't listen to me when he's hurt. I don't know what to do now!

28. Excessive Hounding With Questions - Help!

    Community Discussion - Every time I enter a room or make any move she jumps on me saying, "can I help?", "everything ok?" or "Are you ok?" with this worried tone of voice. After a year of this I realize that my nerves are almost shot and I cringe every time I hear her coming.

29. Help - I'm getting so irritated with Dad, just for a noise!

    Community Discussion - He keeps making this irritating moaning sound and calling my name - it's driving me insane!

30. I relocated for her, and now she's driving me mad.

    Community Discussion - I moved to take care of my controlling mother because no one else would - and now I no longer wish to, either!

31. Could Mom's Partner Be There Just For The Money?

    Community Discussion - Hiring an in-home health care worker is upsetting Mom's 30-year partner, and we're not sure what this means!

32. What A Mess...Siblings Won't Help, But They Sure Do Hurt!

    Community Discussion - Siblings aren't helping to take care of our parents - I'm doing it - but they're whispering terrible things and upsetting our parents!

33. When A Caregiver Leaves

    Community Discussion - I live in Pa, does anyone know if there are legal consequences for a caregiver that abandons a patient, My step-mother just left my Dad and although she is not his POA, she also did not tell anyone she was leaving him so that other arangements could be made for his care

34. I'm Scared Just Needing A Place To Vent

    Community Discussion - I've lived with my grandparents for the last 4 years. Grandma is blind and has been disabled since I was a kid. Grandpa has always been in ok health and been the caregiver for grandma. Over the last 4 years, his health has continued to slowly decline. This year, his age seems to have finally caught up with him...

35. Odd Behaviors In Early To Mid Stage Alzheimer's

    Community Discussion - "I believe my 90 year old husband is in early midstage Alzheimer's, and two of his recently developments are: He whistles (under his breath) about 75% of his waking hours, even in public places such as waiting rooms, and it has been the same few bars of music for about a year. Before that, it was another part of a musical composition...

36. What Are You Thankful For?

    Community Discussion - Im so thankful for the life my mom gave me, my wonderful grandkids that my husband left for me. My grand kids are my best friends. They keep the smile on my face and are so fun, they give me purpose and so much love. they are 6 & 13 and a new one is one the way. Thank you God!

37. Family Opinions On Our Caregiving Choices

    Community Discussion - Hello, Everyone.

38. Care Sharing And Demands Of Life

    Community Discussion - My sister and I are sharing care of mom but for the summer we have had to adjust our schedules to allow for vacations. My sister has her 3 weeks, and I have her 3 weeks but this has not worked out as my sister works and has to put in for vacations and does so when she wants it not when it is on the schedule...

39. Caring For A Spouse With Dementia

    Community Discussion - My husband of 47 years has stroke related dementia . As the weeks go by he seems to be more and more angry that he is not in contol of his life. He has points in time that he is lucid and happy and he loves me and talks to me about how much he knows i have to do for him but he can turn on a dime and he calls me names breaks things and yells threats at me...

40. Joke Of The Day For Dementia Caregivers (Come On...You Gotta Laugh!)

    Community Discussion - The nice thing about being senile is you can hide your own Easter eggs.

41. Appropriate Caregiving For Brain Cancer Parent

    Community Discussion - My father was diagnosed with brain cancer about 10 months ago. It was insinuated by the doctors his life expectancy was going to be 6 months. He's lived with me and my family the entire time.

42. My 80 Year Old Mother Will Not Speak With Me And I'm An Only Child!

    Community Discussion - As all stories are, this is a long, involved one but I shall try to make it as concise as possible.

43. I Am Done!

    Community Discussion - I have given all that I can give, and there is nothing left. For more than 7 years I have been the sole care taker of my husband & I feel like my life is in ruins. I can not go anywhere because we don't have any money, we don't have any money because I can't get a job. I can't get a job because I have to take care of him...

44. What Have I Gotten Into?

    Community Discussion - I am on leave from work to care for my father-in-law on Hospice, and this is only the first week. He has multiple conditions - severe dementia, Parkinson's, CHF and macular degeneration, and complete incontinence. He is very frail and a fall risk, and uses a walker or a wheelchair...

45. Frustrated Beyond Belief With My 80 Year Old Mother With Mid Dementia

    Community Discussion - PLEASE, SOMEONE, HELP ME!

46. My dad has dementia and treats us all terribly. We can't move out. Help?

    Community Discussion - Hi, I am looking after elderly parents. My dad has dementia, my mom suffers from anxiety. I have been doing this now for the past 5 years. I live with them. Sometimes I need a break!!!!!! My mom is constantly needy, my father is always treating my mom badly. He gets in this slammin rage. He thinks that everyone is out to get him...

47. Am I Being Mean By Not Buying Mom Cigarettes?

    Community Discussion - Hello, and I would really like some advice because I don't know what to do anymore. My husband and I moved my 61 year old mother to Hawaii to live with us and our daughter (we are military)in March. She had retired and used part of her saving to buy a house in 94, I don't know what happened but I found...

48. Too Stubborn To Cross Over

    Community Discussion - Mom who is 90, has COPD, and is so weak cannot hold herself up while standing, is in a nursing home on hospice and in the long-term section. She also acts like she is the queen and we are her subjects doing her bidding. She is running the aides and nurses around in circles...

49. Dementia / Alzheimer's: Finding The Right Medication Cocktail

    Community Discussion - Hello, Everyone.

50. Ma's In Daycare Now, but her husband Keeps Asking About Her and she's demanding to leave!

    Community Discussion - Well, we successfully placed my MIL in daycare 2 weeks ago after she had heart failure. But now my FIL keeps asking every 5 minutes when he can see her or talk to her on the phone. They've had a dysfunctional relationship for 62 years. She's the queen, he was always her slave...

51. Parents have dementia, and my husband left me. I'm scared, confused, and lonely.

    Community Discussion - Hello im a 39 yr female and have been my mothers and fathers 24 hr caregiver.My dad is 84 and has alzheimers and he is diabetic.My mother is 78 with dementia and diabetic.It been a very hard road in the yr i been taking care of them i lost my home...and today i lost my husband of 21 years he just walked away...

52. I'm tired of trying to keep our relationship alive.

    Community Discussion - I am in a relationship in it's twelfth year. I chose not to marry my partner because I did not want to be obligated to see snother person through a prolonged deteriorating illness - I did that for eight years with my husband. However, after all this time, where am I gong to go, but be here to care for my loved one as best I can...

53. I Just Don't Know What To Do about my dad, who has dementia. I Am Alone In This.

    Community Discussion - "My mother died last year at 83 years old and my sister died five years ago, so I am very alone in this. My parents and I shared a home for about 8 yrs, and when my mom died my 87 year old dad still lives with me. I am his POA for financial and health. We have several accounts and CD's and checking that are joint...

54. We're taking care of her, but she doesn't want to help us out financially!

    Community Discussion - My 89 year old mother in law, struggles with loss of hearing ( she needs hearing aids but cowards away from the cost), vision issues Left eye had shingles is not capable of acute vision and has glaucoma. Her right eye has cataract and glaucoma as well. The visual disability affects balance, walking and driving...

55. Can I divorce my Alzheimer's-stricken husband in order to protect myself financially?

    Community Discussion - He's becoming violent and his care will take all our income leaving me broke!

56. Grandmother Is Scared To Go To The Hospital!

    Community Discussion - Hi,

57. I'm bi-polar and I can't seem to find help caring for my Alzheimer's husband - HELP!

    Community Discussion - My husband is 62 years old and was dz with AD early this year, I,m 61 years old and suffer with bi-polar disorder. Befor the osnset of his disease he was very aware of the triggers that brought on episodes of bp and was helpful trying to keeep our home running smoothly and on schedule which is a must for me to function with any degree of success...

58. Depression symptoms in Alzheimer's - What can we do?

    Community Discussion - My wife of 51 years, we're both approaching 70, has just been diagnosed with (1-) Early onset Alzheimer’s, & (2-) pseudo dementia (Reversible). ???

59. Stressed And So Tired

    Community Discussion - I feel like my situation is kind of unique. I'm actually hoping it isn't and that someone will understand what I am going through. Three years ago my Mother-in-Law was extremely ill and not expected to live long. Let me mention she was 94 at the time. Her daughters moved into tiny places with no room for her so my husband and I took her in...

60. Long Term Care... The Joys (And Tears)

    Community Discussion - Hi All,

61. Father Becoming Increasingly Belligerent And Angry

    Community Discussion - My father who is living with me (has Alzheimer's) in becoming angrier at me every day.

62. Should I Have Brought Him Home with Hospice?

    Community Discussion - Grandpa came home with Hospice almost 2 weeks ago. I had hoped that being home after so many hospitalizations (5 in 2 months) he would start to get better, even though he was on Hospice.

63. Dad ignored me most of my life - why should I care about him now?

    Community Discussion - Im 30 years old married for two years with a 18month old daughter. I have been getting counseling and medication treatment for my depression/anxiety for years which I feel has worked well. My sister and all other family members share this awful trait as well and have all found help with sort of counseling and medication...

64. Early onset dementia, and I'm scared!

    Community Discussion - My husband has had memory issues now for a few years. It started with him being confused and doing things backwards. The doctors have tested him for everything possible, including sleep disorders, stress test, heart problems, blood work and on and on. The doctors are just now testing him for Dementia...

65. Changing Behavior In Mom!

    Community Discussion - She is reverting to a child! I cannot deal with this!

66. My Husband Wants To Move His Mom In With Us And I Don't!!

    Community Discussion - I really really don't want her to move in with us because I would go out of my mind with resentment!

67. This Roller Coaster Of Life

    Community Discussion - Grandpa's good month has gone back to really bad.

68. Today I Am Feeling.......ANGRY

    Community Discussion - So many family members are just too busy or too involved in their own lives to help me!

69. I am scared of the end stage, and hospice is here.

    Community Discussion - I'm exhausted and had to hire help!

70. I Just Turned 23, And I Don't Know How To Cope With My Father's Diagnosis.

    Community Discussion - I told my parents I was having trouble, but no one seems to care.

71. I don't know how to deal with her constant complaining!

    Community Discussion - In planning to be a caregiver, it had not occurred to me what I was going to do when her psychological problems got to me!

72. I know she's confused, but her words still hurt!

    Community Discussion - She accused me of coming between her and Grandpa, and of giving her an infection!

73. Sister In Law -- Love Her But She Has No Clue!

    Community Discussion - She comments on how the dog needs some grooming attention and doesn't think about all time and effort it takes just for caring for my father!

74. My IL's don't get along, he's living with us, and now she wants to visit him before he passes away!

    Community Discussion - I have absolutely no idea how I'm going to cope - she's 81 herself, and has health issues of her own, which require someone to attend to her full time as well.

75. Where is the best place for Mom to live safely?

    Community Discussion - Dad doesn't deal with her issues well, and she absolutely hates the nursing home!

76. Caregiver To Caregiver: Do you ever put yourself first?

    Community Discussion - If you could wave a magic wand, what would you wish for just for you? Do you ever put yourself first?

77. My mom was diagnosed with Alzheimer's, and I'm not getting much support!

    Community Discussion - My family isn't helping me cope, and I'm just told to get a backbone!

78. I feel guilty over how I have treated my parents...

    Community Discussion - I regret so much from how I handled my father's illness.. from my impatience to my misunderstanding.

79. When We Move, Can We Just Leave Grandmother Behind?

    Community Discussion - Can we legally just pack up and leave, let the Social Worker know we're going....or is that Elder Abuse and criminal charges?

80. Dad has Alzheimer's and Mom has Dementia and we're all stressed out.

    Community Discussion - Mom interferes with Dad's care and caregivers quit over it - we need help!

81. My mom has accused me of giving her the wrong medications!

    Community Discussion - I gave all her pill bottles to her in a shoe box and put them in her room. I hope she doesn't try to OD, and now I won't be able to monitor what she takes.

82. Parkinson's Disease Caregivers, Where Are You?

    Community Discussion - My mother was independent but since she broke her arm, she relies on me 100%. I get no help or support. What do you do?

83. How To Find Support Groups In My Area?

    Community Discussion - I never really realized there was support out there for caregivers! For many years now I just assumed it was me losing my mind!! I am mentally & physically exhausted. I'm young, I shouldn't be feeling like this. It is a breath of fresh air to see that

84. Asking Siblings For Financial Contribution Towards Mom's Care

    Community Discussion - I have just done something that has filled me with guilt: I asked my brother to contribute towards my mom's care.

85. Being A Care Giver While Going Through Menopause

    Community Discussion - Is God's sense of humor in overdrive?

86. My husband is dying and I can't sleep.

    Community Discussion - I'm afraid of taking a sleeping pill because I have a three-year-old son. What can I do?

87. Elder Abuse Laws preventing caregivers from making decisions?

    Community Discussion - I think it is time our elected officials hear from us, the caregivers. For them to hear our stories. Learn what help we give, but how much help we need.

88. I Can't Take It Anymore!! (supplement to "Relocating" thread)

    Community Discussion - All this pressure is on me and all I hear is how I need to be 'nicer'!

89. I'm So Tired And Sad and I feel all alone.

    Community Discussion - I have been the sole caregiver for my wife.

90. Stressed And Confused

    Community Discussion - My mom has Parkinson's and is ordering me around when I'm the one taking care of her!

91. Driving Mom Says I Can't Dictate How She Lives!

    Community Discussion - She knows she won't pass the license renewal test, but she's determined to drive, even without a valid license!

92. How often should I visit Grandfather in the nursing home?

    Community Discussion - Hi, I'm new here and was so happy to find a forum for caregivers because I don't feel so alone anymore! I take care of my 89 yr. old grandfather, my 64 yr. old mother who is sick w/ emphysema and Cushings Disease, and my 39 yr. old husband who is a quadriplegic. I'm am overly stressed and tired, but I'm sure we all are...

93. Bad Day, And Having Not So Good Thoughts ....

    Community Discussion - Things are taking a toll on me. Today was a really bad day, and bad thoughts are crossing my mind.

94. Need Advice On My Grandmother With Alzheimers

    Community Discussion - She has too much energy but her actions are causing problems!

95. Learning To Live With A Loved one With Dementia

    Community Discussion - It's so hard not to get annoyed.

96. My mom won't be active at all. What can I do about this?

    Community Discussion - She just sits in her chair, all day, and then denies she's done so!

97. Relocating - any advice to make it easier on Mom?

    Community Discussion - We're moving my 90 year old mom to live near me, and I'm unsure of what's the best way to manage the trip.

98. Caregiving conflicts!

    Community Discussion - My husband told me if his mom ever gets sick long term he would want her to move in with us. When his stepdad got sick with stroke/heart attack, he had just injured his back-permanently as it turns out-he was over there several times a week helping with lifting, toileting, you name it b/c his brother wouldn't step up...

99. Help - My mother wants to live in this house but I think it's a bad idea!

    Community Discussion - First, thank you caring.com and caring.com community. Here is my story, and I appreciate any insight or advice anyone may be able to give. I never ever ask anyone for help for anything and I thank you. I am the only child of a European woman who is nearly 80. She had me "later in life" and so I am in my 30s...

100. What, Besides Duct Tape, Stops Politically Incorrect And Offensive Remarks?

     Community Discussion - My mother was the queen of saying the wrong thing to the wrong person at the wrong time. She had no idea what being "politically correct" meant or why it would apply to her. As she aged and dementia came into the picture, it got worse.