Dad Refuses to Take His Blood-Pressure Pills. What's a Son -– and a Doctor -– to Do?
The case: A preventive pill goes unswallowed
“Doctor, he won’t take his blood pressure meds,” Mr. B’s son said, sighing and looking exasperated. Internally, I sighed too, wishing things could be easier for this man whose 82-year-old father had mild Alzheimer’s dementia.
Among the many challenges of assisting a loved one whose mind is slowly slipping, coping with frequent refusals to take recommended medications seems to be among the most common -- and most frustrating.
In Mr. B’s case, I hadn’t prescribed much: just one blood pressure pill. My patient for years, Mr. B has always preferred to take as few medications as possible. But after a minor stroke a few years before, he still had very high blood pressure, and these facts substantially raised his risk for another stroke. Like most geriatricians, I usually focus on avoiding disability. Most of my patients tell me they’d like to live at home for as long as possible. That's why strokes, which often cause devastating losses in one’s function, are among the most feared consequences of untreated very high blood pressure. Hence, the medication for Mr. B.
But Mr. B. wouldn’t take his blood pressure pill, despite multiple talks with me, and the frequent pleas of his son. He’d tell us he didn’t want to have another stroke, and that he knew his high blood pressure was apt to cause that. Still, he wouldn’t take his pill.
The challenge: Coping with a person’s resistance to medications.
Even before dementia develops, many people resist taking the medications doctors prescribe. Often this can be due to poor communication: Studies have shown that many doctors rarely explain the purpose of medications, or confirm that a person’s questions and concerns have been addressed. Good communication takes time, and sufficiently exploring a person’s concerns about medications can involve repeated discussions over several visits. Even then, there can be resistance. This is especially common when dementia has affected a person’s ability to organize his thinking and understand reasonable explanations. Sometimes creative compromising and negotiation can persuade a reluctant patient. But not always.
So it was with Mr. B. We’d been having the pill-refusal conversation for over a year. I’d offered him alternative pills. I’d suggested we start with just a teensy dose. A more experienced geriatrician had talked with him. A fresh-faced young resident had talked with him. The geriatric psychiatry service had talked with him. All to no avail. Mr. B. always had some kind of vague excuse for why he wasn’t taking his pill, and finally our team concluded that he was unlikely to be persuaded. We knew he had mild dementia, and even though his goals were to maximize quality of life, as well as to remain independent and functional for as long as possible, he couldn’t quite accept that taking his blood pressure pill would help him with that goal.
This was hard for his son, however, who felt that his father no longer had the mental ability (what doctors call the “decision-making capacity”) to decide whether to take medicine. “You need to do something about this,” he insisted to me.
The solution: A benefit-burden analysis
In Mr. B's case, I did what geriatricians often do: I discussed with Mr. B’s son the benefits and burdens of trying to insist that his father take his pill, given the stated goal of maximizing quality of life.
The benefits were pretty clear: Taking the blood pressure pill would reduce Mr. B’s risk of stroke and heart complications. Without treatment, he likely had a 10 to 30 percent chance of stroke over the next five years. Lowering his blood pressure might bring that risk down to 5 to 15 percent.
But the burdens of insisting on the pill were considerable. Even if we all agreed that Mr. B lacked the capacity to decide on taking medicine, given his repeated refusals and resistance to our coaxing, how could we make him take a pill? Modern medicine has achieved amazing technical successes, but there’s still no device to magically insert pills into people who don’t want them. I worried that this helpful pill had morphed into a cause of daily stress and conflict for Mr. B. and his son. Was this burden worth the benefit of reducing Mr. B’s stroke risk?
Ultimately, on hearing it presented this way, Mr. B’s son decided that no, the burden of a daily struggle to force a pill wasn’t worth the preventive benefit of treating Mr. B’s high blood pressure. “I wish he would take it, but he and I will get along better if I stop worrying and bugging him about it,” he concluded.
My prescription:
Sometimes, as doctors and caregivers, we find ourselves facing a situation in which none of our options feel good. Thinking through the benefits and burdens of each option can help us with these difficult decisions.
Dad Refuses to Take His Blood-Pressure Pills. What's a Son -– and a Doctor -– to Do?


Yes, for medicines that are important, it's a great idea to think "outside the pill", and to consider patches and other medication forms. Thank you, readers, for bringing up these points.
My mother has been very resistant to taking her medications, she has 2 pills in the morning and 4 in the evening. I now get her water and her pills, after breakfast and after dinner and just calmly hand her the pills and say "here is your medicine, Mom." If she questions the medication, I simply tell her we have an appointment with the doctor to have him check her medications to see if she needs to continue taking them. Mother was diagnosed with dementia/alzheimer 20 months ago and has no short-term memory. She has regressed to the 60's and 70's at the present time. Some of her medication is time-released. Cannot crush that medicine. Thank heavens this method is working for me. My mother is 85 and the other care-giver is 90 (stepfather). Obviously, I am in charge of medications and doctor appointments. Good luck and God Bless you all.
I totally agree with the comment about needing something like the patch. My friend has a cat with high blood pressure and she rubs a pharmacist-compounded medication in its ears every day. Something like that would require a daily visit to the dad by someone and the agreement of the patient, but if it's not in pill form, the dad might be more open to trying it because he wouldn't be experienced in resisting that new method.
Alzheimer's patients often have trouble swallowing, as my 88-year-old mother does. I wish pharmaceutical manufacturers would take this into account and create patches similar to the ones that are used to dispense birth control and nicotine addiction meds.
crush the med and add to drink and/or food.