After 50 years of marriage the couple was sitting at the dinner table and the wife said to her husband: "After all these years of marriage I know that you are Tried and True."
He replied, "What did you say?"
She said in a louder voice: "After all these years of marriage I have learned that you are Tried and True."
He said: "Speak louder!"
She said in a louder voice: "After all these years of marriage I have learned that you are Tried and True."
He replied loudly: "Well, I'm tired of you too!"
I recently picked a new primary care physician. After two visits and exhaustive lab tests, he said I was doing "fairly well" for my age.
A little concerned about that comment, I couldn't resist asking him, "Do you think I'll live to be 80?"
He asked, "Do you smoke tobacco or drink beer or wine?"
"Oh no," I replied. "I'm not doing drugs, either."
Then he asked, "Do you eat rib-eye steaks and barbecued ribs?"
I said, "No, my other doctor said that all red meat is very unhealthy."
"Do you spend a lot of time in the sun, like playing golf, sailing, hiking, or bicycling?"
"No, I don't," I said.
He asked, "Do you gamble, drive fast cars, or have a lot of sex?"
"No," I said. "I don't do any of those things."
He looked at me and said, "Then why do you want to live to be 80?"
What music always brings you back to the good ol' days? Is it Elvis? David Bowie? Maybe it's Frank Sinatra's classics. Or Joel Grey and the Caberet?
See what these seniors like to listen to, and share with us: what music do YOU listen to -- for ol' time's sake?
Extra tip: 9 Ways Music Can Heal
An old man shuffled ... slowly ... into an ice cream parlor.
After a long while, he pulled himself ... slowly ... painfully ... up onto a stool at the counter.
After catching his breath, he ordered ... a ... banana split.
The waitress asked kindly, "Crushed nuts?"
"No, the old man answered. "Arthritis."
-- Anonymous
"April . . . hath put a spirit of youth in every thing." (Sonnet XCVIII)
-- William Shakespeare
Sweet spring is your
time is my time is our
time for springtime is lovetime
and viva sweet love.
(All the merry little birds are
flying in the floating in the
very spirits singing in
are winging in the blossoming.)
Lovers go and lovers come
awandering awondering,
but any two are perfectly
alone there's nobody else alive.
(Such a sky and such a sun
i never knew and neither did you
and everybody never breathed
quite so many kinds of yes.)
Not a tree can count his leaves
each herself by opening,
but shining who by thousands mean
only one amazing thing.
(Secretly adoring shyly
tiny winging darting floating
merry in the blossoming
always joyful selves are singing.)
Sweet spring is your
time is my time is our
time for springtime is lovetime
and viva sweet love
-- E.E. Cummings
An 80-year-old man went to the doctor for a checkup, and the doctor was amazed at what good shape the guy was in. The doctor asked, "To what do you attribute your good health?"
The old timer said, "I'm a golfer. I'm up well before daylight and out golfing up and down the fairways."
The doctor said, "Well, I'm sure that helps, but there has to be more to it. How old was your dad when he died?"
The old timer said, "Who said my dad's dead?"
The doctor said, "You mean you're 80 years old and your dad's still alive? How old is he?"
"He's 100 years old and, in fact, he golfed with me this morning. That's why he's still alive; he's a golfer."
The doctor said, "Well, that's great, but I'm sure there's more to it. How about your dad's dad? How old was he when he died?"
The old timer said, "Who said my grandpa's dead?"
The doctor said, "You mean you're 80 years old and your grandfather's still living... Read more
Count how many of the following you remember:
If you remembered 0-5 = You're still young
If you remembered 6-10 = You're getting older
If you remembered 11-15 = Don't tell your age
If you remembered 16-20 = You're older than dirt!
-- Anonymous
Decisions were made by saying, "Eeny-meeny-miney-mo."
Mistakes were corrected by simply exclaiming, "Do over!"
"Race issues" meant arguing about who ran the fastest.
Catching fireflies could happily occupy an entire evening.
It wasn't odd to have two or three "best" friends.
Being old referred to anyone over 20.
The worst thing you could catch from the opposite sex was "cooties."
It was magic when dad would "remove" the nose from your face.
It was unbelievable that dodgeball wasn't an Olympic event.
Having a weapon in school meant being caught with a slingshot.
Nobody was prettier than Mom.
It was a big deal to finally be tall enough to ride the "big people" rides at the amusement park.
A foot of snow was a dream come true.
Abilities were discovered because of a "double-dog-dare."
Phrases like ally ally in free made perfect sense.
Spinning around, getting dizzy, and falling down was cause for giggles... Read more
We heard this funny -- slightly embarrasing -- joke in our humor support group. Hope it makes you chuckle too!
I was in the public restroom -- I was barely sitting down when I heard a voice in the other stall: Hi! How are you?
Me (embarrassed): Doin' fine!
Person in next stall: So, what are you up to?
Me: Uh, I'm like you, just sitting here.
Person in next stall: Can I come over?
Me (now slightly irritated): Are you serious?!
Person in next stall: Listen, I'll have to call you back. There's someone in the other stall who keeps answering all my questions!
We all need it: A mental mini-break. Let these video clips, quips, jokes, tales, and more help you step back from the rigors (and frowns) of caregiving -- and smile.
And if you have a laugh you'd like us to share, let us know at smile@caring.com
