What's Your Song?
By Paula Spencer Scott, Caring.com senior editor
“Oh no! Not him!” Not again!”
That’s my kids’ reaction (cue the horrified groans) when they get in the car and a certain singer’s deep voice fills the air. I admit it: In times of trouble, I turn not to Mother Mary speaking words of wisdom, or Simon & Garfunkel’s bridges over troubled waters. Corny ol' Gordon Lightfoot is my go-to music for stress release. (“Carefree Highway…” “Summertime Dream….” My favorite: “Seven Island Suite.")
My car-trapped kids think I just like his music – and I do. But what they don’t realize is that these are the songs that soothe my soul when I’ve just about had it. They transport me from bad days or hospital rooms like a fast audiotrain to my beloved northern Michigan, with its lakes and pine-crisp air and cold bottles of Molson Canadian.
Music as a stress reliever is a no-brainer. Researchers say music can spur memory, boost energy, ease pre- and post-surgery stress, and even help people recover more quickly. What’s not to like? And yet too often I plod along – dark, anxious, * palpitating* -- in silence because, ironically, the more stressful things get, the more I tend to tune out everything all around me , including the very thing that might make me feel a little better!
One caregiver I know plays Vivaldi’s “The Four Seasons” almost nightly because that’s what her mother, who has dementia, smiles at. (All kinds of music can be a dementia-care secret weapon.) “Because it calms Mama, it calms me,” she told me. (And then she muttered: “*Anything * that calms Mama, calms me.”)
Others go for music they can dance to -- itself a great stressbuster. Others prefer whatever sounds good really really loud – though for caregivers that’s more easily done if you’re locked in your car or caring for someone with hearing loss. (My pick: Neil Young’s “Like a Hurricane” – not for the words, for the guitar.) Much as I like escapist music, if things are *really” stressful, I listen to George Winston piano music, ideal for gnawing on unhappy thoughts.
What’s on your bad-day playlist?
David Bowie’s “Under Pressure”?
Patsy Cline’s “Crazy"”?
Billie Holiday’s “You’re Driving Me Crazy”?
“Que Sera, Sera?”
It's nice to know that someone else overlook what "children" rate and go ahead and "tune-in" to what they need! You go girl!
KIXI radio is available online 24/7. It features music from the 50's, 60's and sometimes 40's. I listen to it online from every place we travel. It is located at 880 am in the Seattle are and online at http://www.kixi.com. It truly is the rdio station that heals my Alzheimer riddled mind.
Isn't music such a wonderful endulgement!?! I too rely on music to help me cope, clean my house or even help me cry when I need a personal pity party! You go with your bad self! Did I forget one important perk ... tuning out the world and kids and family and friends, you know the ones who don't walk in your shoes but have such infinite wisdom! Try singing out loud, if the kids can't take this tell them you'll sing in your head if they will just be quiet for your moment of solice!
With me, there is a song for everything. I've ridden Ozzy's "Crazy Train" more than once with a smile on my face, and reminded myself (a la the Grateful Dead) that "every silver lining's got a touch of grey". Of course, when Grandpa was living with us with dementia, my parents at 82, and six children, Guns n Roses "Welcome to the Jungle" always put things into perspective!
It reminded me to use music to soothe my own stress. I use it everyday to calm mom. Her favorites are "How Great Thou Art" and other hymns that she calls her holy music. On good days she'll sing old children's songs like "Be Kind To Your Web-footed Friends", "Oh Susanna" and "Michael, Row Your Boat Ashore". They make her laugh and will give her something else to think about when she's stuck on a particular worrisome thought. She forgets most of the words and either makes up her own or joins in on the chorus.
We used any songs from the big band era, New York, New York, I did it my way, etc. Music was playing in my husbands room constantly on the Comcast 40 Music Choice channels. We had to play extra for that channel, but it was worth it to able to listen to a variety of music to set the mood.
Thanks for your post! What a good idea! I'm going to start upgrading the iPOD. How about The Beatles 'Let It Be'? It's been running through my head since I read your post.
For me, it's anything by Jack Johnson....