I too have so many siblings and so little help. My mother has 5 daughters and two sons. The boys really don't get it and probably don't want to. One once said, well I'll take mom in, but she has to go by my rules. Totally not aware of dementia and it's presence. Oldest daughter in nursing home on dialysis. One more out of state. I'm here, and I have a stent in my heart, but it appears I am the healthiest out of the bunch. Biggest problem, I have a job and cannot retire for 2 more years. Mom's in her own place right now, but I'm there 3x a week. I take her out for groceries and for pleasure. She has now become very dependent on me and doesn't seem to trust anyone else. I've e-mailed siblings links to information regarding dimentia and I keep them informed. One sister who doesnt' drive has decided to accompany me and I am teaching her what needs to be done. She is very angry that no one else helps and I remind her that mom needs all of us no matter what. We need to respect and honor her therefore, we will take any help any of them want to give. If they just visit 3x a year, then ok that's great! Life is very complicated for all of them. I was divorced 7 years ago and I'm 53 so I don't have a social life anymore, but I still work, visit my kids and grandkids and make time for me. I don't have friends anymore, but when I go to work, I have acquaintances and that helps. I feel blessed to know that if this is the duty God has decided I should manage, then so be it. I am glad to be healthy and loving and capable of being a caretaker. It seems she has chosen me and I will try to organize and assist my siblings in whatever role they decide on in helping out with mom. Everyone has special talents and abilities and I see mom benefit from each one. With Donna, they talk about cleaning windows and shampooing floors. With Vicky, mom talks about the difficulties in raising kids. Still trying to pass on her motherly wisdom. Rose does her best bringing mom food that she knows she enjoys. That's all okay, but I still run the show to a point. Mom still needs each of us in her own way, whether it's just a conversation and especially when there is something good going on to share. I drew a big family tree that hangs above her dining table that helps mom to remember that she has alot of people who love her. I use alot of humor and I always show respect. There are times I have to be more assertive than I want to be, but it works and mom trusts me. Mom, you need to use your ottoman and put your feet up to get the swelling down. If you don't use it, I won't be able to bring you any pizza until you do. She gets it and I pick up the pizza. It's tough, and it will get tougher, but I love her. The one who cares the most is the one who gets to do the most, but remember that each one has/had a special relationship with mom once upon a time. Allow them and her to keep it alive in their own unique way.