A 13-Minute Stress Solution?
By Paula Spencer Scott, Caring.com senior editor
“I’m sick-sick-sick of being told to ‘take care of yourself,’” a caregiver friend said, rolling her eyes when she heard I write a blog for caregivers called Self Caring.
Caregiver self-care is the ultimate conundrum: You know what you need to do but you just can’t. Lack of time? Of opportunity? Often, I think, caregivers simply get too burned out even to see the motivation, any more.
Makes me think of two old sayings: “The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.” But also: “The first step is a doozy.”
So I get it. I get that an evening of anxiously-munched corn chips now settled like so many small anvils in your belly can anchor you to the sofa and cancel any possible impulse connected with your own well being. (How much do I get it? My dinner a few nights ago consisted of...corn chips!)
And yet in the interest of lighting a flicker of motivation, I can’t help telling you about a pretty amazing new study. It was done on post-menopausal women, most of whom were caring for spouses or parents with dementia. University of California - San Francisco researchers monitored the women’s stress levels (you can imagine!) and their levels of daily exercise. They also took blood samples to measure the telomere length of their immune cells. Telomeres are a biological marker for the accumulated wear-and-tear of aging that comes from both genetic and environmental (everyday life conditions, including stress and exercise) influences. The longer those telomeres, the better.
To even the researchers’ surprise, brief intense exercise offset the destructive, aging influence of stress on the women’s cells! How brief? Just 13 minutes a day!
The women who were in super-stress mode but who exercised (just enough to raise a sweat) had longer telomere lengths than those who were sedentary, regardless of whether in super-stress mode or lower-stress mode.
Somehow this kind of wow-fact sticks in my head even on those days when I’d rather hibernate with a corn chip bag.
So here’s the pep talk:
Stress can kill you -- but it seems that exercise can blunt the way stress ages your very cells. Exercise! Something cheap and, if not easy, at least not super hard, either.
Starting an exercise program is dreadful for everyone, so if you feel like crap at first, you’re not a loser, you’re in good company! (Eventually regular movement really does make you feel great, although for some of us -- me -- it requires major psyching up every day to get going!)
Little bitty movements are better than none. My 90something great aunt used to tell me she’d make four trips from the kitchen to the living room to put things away, rather than one, just to get the extra movement.
You’re never too old or creaky to start moving. (See my aunt, above.)
You don’t have to leave the house or join a gym to sweat. (See my aunt, above.)
Bottom-line motivation: Caregiving requires sacrifice, but nobody said it should be the ultimate sacrifice. If you’re not around, what will happen to the person in your care?
I know, I know -- that sounds a lot like, “Take care of yourself.” Boring. Cliched. Easier-said-than-done. Yadda, yadda. So how about, “Take care of yourself...for at least 13 minutes a day”?
My fiance and I moved my mother in with us in 2004. She will be 92 next month and has been diagnosed with moderate Alzheimers disease. My fiance has his own business and works out of town most of the year and I take care of his office at our home. So I rarely get out and engage with anyone socially or for business... except for going to the Y at least 4 days a week. Even if I don't have lenghty conversations with anyone, the exercise seems to elevate my mood. In the morning,before my mother gets up, I go and exercise. Even though she has been living with me for 6 years, she still thinks she is a guest and won't get out of bed til I wake her when I get home. My sisters are amazed that I haven't cracked up yet, but I think it the exercise that keeps me going. I realize that one day I will not be able to leave my mother, but as long as I can, I will... for my own sake.
Starting 34 years ago I have been exercising in the pool at the Y for 60 minutes 3 times a week all year 'round. 29 years ago I became a caregiver for my Mom who had had a heart attack and was afraid to live alone.She lived with us for 16 years until she died at age 93. Then, soon after, I became a caregiver for my husband who has Alzheimer's That was 12 years ago. I am nearly 81. The exercise keeps me going! There are always very nice friendly people at the pool so I almost don't mind that the water and air are too cold!
I have started exercising in the past three months but only because my dad passed away in December after living with a diagnosis of lung cancer for a year. I still have my 90-year old mom as well. Before my dad passed away, I just couldn't get beyond the stress to see it was helpful to exercise. Now that I only have one parent to care for, I feel much better and even feel like planting some flowers and herbs on my balcony this summer. I think it's great to push people to exercise and the 13 minutes is good to know. I'm just happy I feel like I am coming back to the land of possibilities and am leaving the land of total stress and burnout where I lived for 10 years.
HI Paula: Great post! I have been hearing that from everyone, "don't burn yourself out!" You have to take care of yourself, George." I know, I know. I just joined a new gym last week. I plan on going their for two hours and lift weights, and use the cardio machines while my younger sister watches my dad (he's 89, former hip replacement surgery and just recently pace maker). So, the remarks have stopped for awhile, now that Im plan to workout three times a week, I have energy and vitality all of a sudden, I workout out twice on week days when my dad goes to adult Day Care on Tuesdays and Thursday 9 AM-3 PM. This really helped me out. Thank you. Nameste George :)
Well you know your body more than this researchers,doctors,scientist,so you could just listened and be kind to your self.
Love that 13 minutes a day and any movement being significant!
Good post, Paula. It took awhile as a caregiver for me to get it that running myself to a nub is actually not caregiving it is just plain martyrdom and a ticket to depression. Not only do I feel better getting regular exercise, I pat myself on the back that I am doing one more good thing as a caregiver -- taking care of me so I can do more. It is as necessary as filling prescriptions or doing other essential things for those I care for.