Self Caring
Archive 2010
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#1 New Year's Resolution for Caregivers
December 28, 2010
If you're a caregiver, how about leaving all those self-improvement resolutions to somebody else this year? Try this New Year's resolution instead. From Caring.com.... Read more
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Ghosts of Christmas Past – and 4 Other Top Caregiver Challenges
December 21, 2010
The personal issues that caregivers struggle with most. Writing Caring.com’s Self Caring blog lets me peek right into the heads and hearts of caregivers What I see: That we can't talk enough about the personal side of caregiving!... Read more
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Be Aware. Be Grateful
December 14, 2010
Two phrases to live by, in the wake of Elizabeth Edwards's untimely death.... Read more
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Season's Grievings
December 07, 2010
What do you do when you're not in a holiday mood? Here are three suggestions for dealing with caregiving during the holidays.... Read more
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“All I Want for Christmas”: A Caregiver Wish List
November 30, 2010
10 holiday gift ideas for the stressed and time-pressed caregiver -- and 8 "are you listening, Santa?" bonus wishes.... Read more
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10 Ways to Thank a Caregiver
November 23, 2010
Here are 10 ideas for ways to thank a caregiver, paid or unpaid. Helpful tips to say thanks for caregiving. Pass them along; maybe the gratitude will float back to you.... Read more
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What’s New? An Attitude With Staying Power
November 16, 2010
Fight caregiver stress with an open mind: Lessons from a 95-year-old who looks 75 and was a caregiver into her late 80s. ... Read more
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Me, You, and Justice Sandra Day O’Connor
November 09, 2010
Supreme Court Justice Sandra Day O'Connor talked to Caring.com about her late husband, who died of Alzheimer's one year ago this week,and described an emotion most Alzheimer's caregivers can relate to well.... Read more
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Go Ahead. Honor Yourself.
November 03, 2010
Will National Family Caregivers Month and National Alzheimer's Disease Awareness Month go noticed in your house? Up to you. ... Read more
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Wish You Could Find a More Positive Attitude? My Dad’s Last Lessons
October 27, 2010
Some days as a caregiver, it can be a struggle to keep anything close to a positive attitude. And yet, the bennies of a positive mood include a tougher immune system... Read more
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Who Can You Talk To?
October 20, 2010
Caregivers need shoulders to cry on and ears to hear them. But what happens when your former support system is now the very person you’re caring for?... Read more
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Can Adult Day Services Help YOU?
October 13, 2010
A new study says adult day services (also called adult day care or respite care) is growing fast. But is it growing fast enough to help *you*?... Read more
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The Unique Stress of the Alzheimer’s Caregiver
October 05, 2010
The dismal economy might be stressful. But new research by Caring.com finds that being an Alzheimer's caregiver is far more stressful. Where does that stress come from? As a caregiver with circles under her eyes once answered me with a sigh, *“Let me count the ways.”*... Read more
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Know Your Caregiver Limits
September 29, 2010
5 things every caregiver should remember to combat stress and burnout. Ways that care giving can affect you and how to cope with the stress that it puts on you.... Read more
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Would You Peek Into an Alzheimer’s Crystal Ball?
September 22, 2010
This is now possible (mostly in theory; actual practice is still sketchy) through spinal-fluid tests being developed. Such tests go way beyond the handful of known genetic markers that explain a relatively small percentage of Alzheimer’s cases. ... Read more
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5 Mantras for Crisis Management
September 15, 2010
Caregiving is a journey -- in the shape of a roller coaster. One minute you're getting used to the new view, and the next you may be plunging into the dip of a fresh health crisis. Caregivers I especially admire ... Read more
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Step One of the Rest of Your Life
September 08, 2010
Exercise and I have a checkered past. I’m too uncoordinated for tennis, too fearful of skiing, and I don’t know how to swim. Sports bore me. Then there’s the not-so-small matter of time.... Read more
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What's YOUR Fantasy?
September 01, 2010
Fantasy can relieve the stress of caring for aging parents. It can be a powerful coping tool for stress. Fantasy is a way of venting – by imagining the worst in yourself (that escape hatch, leaving it all behind) you can get some despair out of your system.... Read more
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Seeing Is Believing…but What Happens When You’re the Only One Looking?
August 25, 2010
When a caregiving crisis lurks or explodes, are you a do-er, or a denier? Seems like every family in an eldercare situation splits, at various points, into the ones who see (the memory loss, the shuffle, the house falling apart around Mom, the need to plan ahead) and the ones who refuse to see.... Read more
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What's Your Song?
August 18, 2010
Music as a stress reliever is a no-brainer. Researchers say music can spur memory, boost energy, ease pre- and post-surgery stress, and even help people recover more quickly. ... Read more
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Can’t Help Gnawing on Unhappy Thoughts?
August 11, 2010
No, I don’t have dementia. But in healthy-minded but way-too-stressed people, often women (*check, check, check! *), this same obsessive thought pattern is known as **rumination.** And it’s a habit that can quickly become a caregiver stress swamp. ... Read more
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Caregiver Stress: The Fear Factor
August 04, 2010
Is fear of the reaction of the person you care for holding you back from doing the right thing? Does worry about your loved one's reaction ever prevent you from doing something as a caregiver on his or her behalf? Being “afraid of Mom,” for example, sounds crazy on the face of it (fear, at our age?!) and yet we all know old relationship patterns have deep and lasting grooves.... Read more
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Writing Wrongs
July 28, 2010
Every caregiver can complete that sentence, right? And if you can write a sentence, you can access a powerful way to preserve your own health and sanity: You can journal.... Read more
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The Other Side of Happiness
July 21, 2010
Caregiving, after all, isn’t solely about keeping another person well fed, warm, dry, and safe. We want the person to be * happy,* too. Except when they aren’t. You can bend over backward doing nice things for others, cheering them up with flowers and pep talks, helping them see friends and find meaning in life.... Read more
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The Happy Test
July 14, 2010
A simple question that can help you decide how well you're taking care of yourself. When's the last time you were happy? It’s not a trick question. It’s a simple, straightforward one.... Read more
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Gail Sheehy, Part 2: In Charge…But Not in Control
July 07, 2010
Gail Sheehy, author of Passages in Caregiving, on playing God and knowing your limits as a caregiver -- that you may be in charge but you're not ultimately in control. ... Read more
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Gail Sheehy: "My Toughest Emotion"
June 30, 2010
Gail Sheehy, author of Passages in Caregiving, knows firsthand the stress and emotional struggles of being a caregiver; part one.... Read more
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Caregiver Sex (Not)
June 23, 2010
There are good reasons caregivers have low sex drive. Experts believe that normal sexual desire in women covers a broad range. Medicalizing low sex drive will make healthy women think there's something "wrong" with them, when there's not.... Read more
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I Was So Sleep Deprived, That I...
June 16, 2010
Why caregivers need to try to protect themselves against sleep deprivation. For some caregivers, sleep is disrupted by a relative with Alzheimer’s or another dementia who has sundown syndrome, wanders, or has other disturbed sleep patterns.... Read more
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Caregiver Meltdown
June 09, 2010
Caregivers may do some saint-like things, but we’re no saints. We snap. We give and give and give and then, in an all too-human moment -- usually a moment fed by too little sleep and too many competing priorities for too long a duration -- we lose it.... Read more
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A 13-Minute Stress Solution?
June 02, 2010
Stress can kill you -- but it seems that exercise can blunt the way stress ages your very cells. *Exercise!* Something cheap and, if not easy, at least not super hard, either.... Read more
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Optimist, Pessimist, Realist? Attitude Affects Caregiving
May 26, 2010
Is your caregiving stress made worse (or better) by your true nature? Let’s look at three caregiving pairs: Which type of caregiver are you: Optimist, pessimist, or realist? The answer may color your stress level as a caregiver. ... Read more
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When Friends Just Don't Get It
May 19, 2010
What to do when friends quit calling or think you're spending "too much time caregiving." It’s difficult for people to comprehend day-to-day caregiving even if they’re loyal, longlasting friends.... Read more
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How to Ask for Caregiving Help
May 12, 2010
If you're a family caregiver, do you find it hard to ask for help? Some hurdles that might be getting in your way -- and what to do.... Read more
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Do You Have a “Natural Caregiver" Personality?
May 05, 2010
Caregiver personalities vary from person to person. How much is your caregiving stress level affected by the personality you were born with? We all know people who seem to roll with caregiving more easily than others. ... Read more
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The Emotion Nobody Talks About
April 28, 2010
The truth about caregiver resentment from Caring.com. Resenting the fix you're in doesn’t make you a bad person. It makes you a candid one, and being honest about challenges is the best starting place for addressing them. But first you have to give yourself permission to *have* this hard emotion. ... Read more
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What Comes First When EVERYTHING’s a Priority?
April 21, 2010
Being a caregiver is difficult and often very stressful. Following these five steps will help caregivers prioritize in a crisis -- and not beat themselves up over their choices.... Read more
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When You Don't Hear "Thanks"
April 14, 2010
* **Thank yourself – mentally.** If nobody else is saying it, say it yourself. Look yourself in the mirror in the morning and remind yourself: Good for Me; I'm Doing a Good Thing. One woman once told me she patted her own back before she woke her mother up each day, a form of self encouragement that's funny to picture, but if it works…! ... Read more
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So Who Are You?
April 07, 2010
The word caregiver is problematic to a lot of people, even those in the caregiving trenches, including the good people behind this site. In its strictest definition – one who gives care to another – caregiver is a brilliant word, an apt word.... Read more
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Why It's Important to Ask, "What Are My Limits?"
March 31, 2010
It's **knowing your boundaries.** Through trial and error, she (and Paul) had to figure out their limits and then figure out how to work within them, as well as what to do about the stuff that threatened to push them over the limit.... Read more
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Step One: Find the "I" in Caring
March 22, 2010
Every caregiver has heard about the "attach your oxygen mask first" message about the importance of self care. Well how many of you then thought, *Yeah, right*?... Read more
