livingwithcancer...

6 days ago

my husband was diagnosed on 10/31/2008 with stage 4 liver cancer (hcc) - he had hepatitis c for 20 years prior to being diagnosed with liver cancer. when he was diagnosed we went thru 2 months of looking for treatment options from resection, transplant, etc - unfortunately he was not a candidate for either and was very coldly told by our transplant specialist he had maybe 1 yr. We went thru several 'second' opinions only to be told by each one that the 1 yr was being optimistic. I can happily say - today my husband and i celebrated our daughters 4th birthday together with her! - A dr although very well educated can not tell you when your life will end, only you and your higher power can decide that. Please talk to your oncologist and ask him to help you with a mental health professional who can work with your husband. The minute i felt my husband was falling into a depression and would start talking negatively about his illness - I had his Dr recommend a professional who can help us. Since that time we have had open and honest conversations about life, his illness, his wishes for our daughter and even his wishes in the event he can't make medical decisons for himself. - - although we know any treatments are pallative we work everyday to find ways to extend his life. We also appreciate everyday we have together, the good ones and the bad ones. He has been hospitalized 2 times in the last 3 months - each time he thanks me for being there unconditionally for him and all I can do is remind him that I am there to fight this disease WITH him everyday. - - Please reassure him you will be there for him every minute of everyday. - Don't allow anyone to tell you when he will be gone - I now think about the days wasted worring about the day that has not arrived! Simply appreciate eachother for everything you provide eachother every day. Give thanks for every morning he awakes next to you. Since his diagnoses last year i don't go anywhere without my digital camera/recorder - all of those special moments are now on video for my daugher and i to share later. - Bless you and your family in this difficult time. If I can be of any support please feel free to contact me pcacevedo@snet.net - It helps to know we are not fighting this alone and to rely on someone who understands what you are going thru.

yusra

27 days ago

Hi Carol, So sad to read through your story. It is obviously so complicated a subject. Try to do something indeed and try to be self-protected from any possible harm to your own self. You don't know how a depressed person could possibly act or react. But, don't show that you are scared as that may aggravate the situation. Try to be so calm and alert. Tell him refreshing stories about your love and that you don’t want to lose his companionship as a result of an intentional act. Tell him that as God gave us lives, we should keep our souls as a sacred property of our own until God Takes Back His Trust. Encourage him to make use of every single minute of his life in writing a Novel, for example, to be as a special reference for his kids and beloved ones. There is always a hope side by side to any despairing matter. We just need to bravely decide upon managing such challenges. Best Luck.