My sister won't care for Mom even though she lives in the same town. I do everything, but I live 800 miles away!

Hi I take care of my elderly mom 24-7 now she has had a stroke in Jan got most of it back then because of the stroke her brain was is a very agry state put her in hospital they got that better and then suffered a heart attack 3 weeks ago. I am one of 5kids trying to do it all I cant seem to get everyone on board about helping alot have excuses after excuse of why they can't. I am on my 10th day and am just mentally drained mom also had demencia which is worse from the stroke. I am trying to get help from state but nothing yet. I have a daughter getting married soon that I haven't been able to be a part of because of all this. I'm angry and hurt that most of the siblings want to throw her somewhere so they dont have to help. My mom has told me if she goes into a home she will kill herself she hates it so much. I have been living with her and I might get her to my house once a week and I have my own husband and dogs. I have prayed about this and also have been prayed for at my church but I do feel my spirit is fading because its none stop I work 16hr days 7 days a week and am just tired. I have to give mom insulin check sugar shes on 17 different meds, cant shower herself or do anything at this point. Any advice on how to get me time to rejuvinate myself and my spirit.

Perhaps you and your sister could split responsibilities. She could take care of things where her location is an asset and you could take care of things in which geography is not an issue. Then mom wouldn't have to pay for your travel quite as often. You also might talk to a social worker. There are also non-profit organizations for seniors or call your mom's town's dept of mental health. Between the 3 organizations, there should be resources available for pet care, transportation to doctors appts, light housekeeping, etc. to lighten your sister's load.

another great option is Home Instead. I don't advocate your sisters behavior but I can understand it. After a full day in a nursing home then dealing with a limited spouse the last thing I wanted to do was do more caregiving!

Great post Carol, Have you considered and in-home care company. This might be a more cost effective and local solution that could get to your mom on a regular basis. I would recommend Right at Home, we are a nationwide network of caregivers with background checks and training. If you want to learn more, check out our blog at www.rightathome.net/seniorhomecare. Best, Bill