My sister won't care for Mom even though she lives in the same town. I do everything, but I live 800 miles away!
By
Last updated:
October 10, 2009
Caring.com is an informational site only. Neither Caring.com nor its partners provide medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, or legal, financial, or other professional services advice or advice about what service providers to use.
By using our Website, you agree to the
Terms of Use
and
Privacy Policy.
© Copyright 2008-2010 Caring, Inc. All Rights Reserved.
Perhaps you and your sister could split responsibilities. She could take care of things where her location is an asset and you could take care of things in which geography is not an issue. Then mom wouldn't have to pay for your travel quite as often. You also might talk to a social worker. There are also non-profit organizations for seniors or call your mom's town's dept of mental health. Between the 3 organizations, there should be resources available for pet care, transportation to doctors appts, light housekeeping, etc. to lighten your sister's load.
Lot's of great ideas, but how about splitting the chores with your sister, with you handling those that can be done long distance (money management; coordinating the health care, pet care, and home repair). Since your Mom has been paying for you to fly down there, offer to pay your sister for taking over some of the things that HAVE to be done at your Mom's location. How old are your sister's children - can they help with small chores, thus allowing for lowering the time needed by an outside caregiver and lowering that cost? My sister lives 600 miles away from me, and last March we moved our parents here to an independent living facility (two meals a day, apt. cleaned for them, misc other services). When the time comes, my sister will take over the financial part of our parent's life, as that can be done long distance. I handle the 'emergencies' and visit them often, and talk on the phone with them often. I coordinate the Dr. appointments and go to each one. My sister and I speak frequently, and she comes down about once a quarter to visit both them and myself. It helps knowing that I'm part of team and that she can step in to be the 'bad' guy if needed. Best wishes on balancing what you need. Take care of you and your job, as those are as important as taking care of a difficult situation.
another great option is Home Instead. I don't advocate your sisters behavior but I can understand it. After a full day in a nursing home then dealing with a limited spouse the last thing I wanted to do was do more caregiving!
Great post Carol, Have you considered and in-home care company. This might be a more cost effective and local solution that could get to your mom on a regular basis. I would recommend Right at Home, we are a nationwide network of caregivers with background checks and training. If you want to learn more, check out our blog at www.rightathome.net/seniorhomecare. Best, Bill