My mother-in-law needs to have her own place, rather than live with us -- but my husband disagrees.

You Know, It took almost 5 years for my MIL to accept that My husband and I were going to be together. I was brought up to believe, that when you marry, you'd better get used to the idea, that you are marrying a family, not a man. Unless your husbands family is totally dysfunctional, He will want to have them in his life. One day when my husband and I had been married for probably well over 20 years, She told me, that she thought I was a pretty good wife and daughter-in-law. Don't just give up. God gives us tests sometimes, just to help us grow. If you pass, You Will Be Happier.

While I agree that elders often have "so much to teach," the lessons are entirely contingent on the elder at issue. Some elders can teach that their intrusiveness, theatrics, and narcissism can destroy a nuclear family. There are simply some elders that are so toxic that the "grin and bear it" suggestion comes off as unrealistic and ill-conceived.

The expert has given you some helpful advice and the family counseling is also a good idea! You need to do something sooner, rather than later. Why did your husband feel the need to take her in? Can she live independently or does she have some medical issues? Does he have other siblings? When you speak to him, keep even tempered and be a good listener. Don't use this time to complain about the things she does that upset you, because you will appear jealous and uncaring. Hopefully, after a good long talk with him, you can come to some solutions or a compromise. We had to take my mother-in-law in to our home for almost 4 years, but she is 88 and has health issues. We just transferred her out to a board and care home recently, because she started falling more and requires 24 hr. care now. It was a very tough 4 years and a lot of damage was done to our marriage... I hope you do not have to go through something similar. My husband lost his father and brother, so there were not many options for us. I had joined a caregiving support group and had talked to a professional counselor, which helped me get through it. Best of luck to you!

Sounds like family counceling time to me. How did she happen to live with you to begin with? You need time to grow your marriage, enjoy your child and have the pleasure of forming your own family routines. You didn't mention if she is ill. Who did her marry anyway?

Only 2 years married, this is your life, good luck!

May try to show some love/affection first if she reciprocates will win a help full friend. Lost something; may try to give her the idea that she means more then an object. If don’t work do what you need to do; try to avoid the soaring up your husband’s mind. She is her mom never forget that. Complaining may get him confused and may loose the affection he has for you and a happy family life may become illusive. Where as if with a little patience and not complaining he may figure out his mother is jealous and may begin to look for a solution himself. Will be better for all of you.