My sister is jeopardizing her children by having our mom with Alzheimer's live with them.

You say - "But Mom screams all the time, tries to bite, hallucinates, and is downright ugly to my sister and her kids.". I just wanted to tell you I had to deal with this type of behavior and worse. What was causing it was the prescription Alzheimer's drug. The doctor said it was not the drug it was the Alzheimer's and wanted to increase the dose. That perhaps another drug might help with the behavior. My father and I talked it over and decided to stop the Alzheimer's drug. This upset the doctor. But we were the ones that had to take care of her. We thought the best option would be to stop the drug and see what happened before adding more. This was the best thing we could of done for mom. The first few days we thought things had changed but not enough to be certain. Then it became evident as time passed. It took about a full month before she recovered from the effects of that drug. The doctor never would agree that the drug was the cause. But after we stopped giving it to her she never again exhibited those negative behaviors. She was so bad while on that drug and it exhausted so much we never were willing to put her back on it. Although Alzheimer's can cause changes in behavior I would want to eliminate the possibility that it was not a reaction to a drug or combination of drugs. Being like that isn't fun for mom either. Imagine living the rest of her life like that because of a drug you gave her everyday and finding out it wasn't her it was the drug. The reason we decided to try stopping the drug was because of my grandfather. He ended up in a nursing facility. Before long he was being prescribed drugs. Over time more were added until he was taking 15 different prescriptions. At this point he didn't want to do anything and spent must of his time just sitting and not interacting with anyone. My father had him weaned of all the medications and my grandfather became himself again. He spent the last five years of his life helping other people at the nursing facility and made many friends. Our visits changed and we felt much better about him being there. When they had him on all those prescriptions it was depressing to see him just sit there. Only bothering to answer the questions he wanted to answer. But that changed when the drugs stopped. When we would get there for a visit he was with people talking. He was happy to see us. During the visit people would stop by his room to say hi or talk. Sometimes prescribing drugs and more drugs isn't the answer. Unfortunately doctors seldom stop giving a drug unless it's life threatening. If the drug causes a side effect they will often prescribe a medication to address the side effect. This isn't all doctors but this is very common. Drug stacking is something I'll always be suspicious of now. Sometimes less is better. You always want to research ALL the drugs given to a person with Alzheimer's. Don't just listen to doctors. I learned this the hard way and not just with the Alzheimer's drug.

The fact that your sister's children are being negatively impacted is VERY serious, and you two sisters DO NEED an IMMEDIATE discussion. However, more information is needed. What are the ages of the children? How long has your mother lived there with the family? When was the last time your mother saw her neurologist for medication adjustment? Your exclusive focus on the well-being of your sister's children overlooks an important component of the situation, and THAT is, the current medical status and needs of your mother. These could be important pieces of the puzzle, but are not addressed in your blog. The fact is, some of the behaviours your mother is exhibiting may be partly *a result* of living with your sister and her children. Many people with AD are intolerant of loud noises, disturbances, rapid movements, or rapid/hectic anything! Consequently, you might rethink your approach to speaking with your sister. It may very well be that *living with the children* is as unhealthy for your mother as it is for the kids... Another "classic" caring.com editorial blog - *VERY* well-intentioned, yet sadly myopic... ©suzannemcable.2010