My fiance broke off our engagement because he said caring for my mom has taken over my life.

Paula1224

6 months ago

I am a single mom of two kids about to start college this year. My mom has Alzheimer's. This is a very scary thing, being on the care side of the disease knowing it could be my future. I watch my children with my mom and it makes my heart swell with pride because they are so patience, kind, and loving. They know this could be me someday and we talk about it. I have told my kids to put me someplace safe and to move on with their lives. I don't want my children to be in the situation you are now facing. I want my children to live their lives to the fullest. If you want to be on the West coast, then move back there. Take your mom out west with you and place her somewhere close so you can keep an eye on her and visit her. She would not want you to give up your hopes and dreams for her. As far as the fiance is concerned, thank God he is gone. What if something happened to you or a child of yours in the future? He would be out the door in a flash. This may have been a parting gift from your mom, showing you just what kind of a man he really was. As your mom's disease progresses it will become more difficult for you. You need to be surrounded by friends and the things/places that bring you comfort. If that is the west coast, then go, nothing is stopping you. Live your life, make your mom proud, and know she loves you and wants that for you.

Lenorasdaugh­ter

over 2 years ago

I really commend your efforts taking care of your mother. Everyone always says take the high road-however, no one talks about how dusty & dirty one can get. Your mom took care of you while you were just a kid just think of it as giving back. That dude calling off the wedding needs to be dropped from your brain. Don't waste energy thinking about him, girlfriend. Life is not easy, and when a little hiccup he runs for the hills! He could have gotten on board by cleaning, repairing cars, etc. He should have been a team player, and you could have worked together/spent time helping. Enabling mom to reap the rewards of two instead of just one person. You are entiled to a life. But, to get tired/complain is only human. I know because i gave up my life to come stay with my mother. She is 83. I sooo understand. Steal a few moments for yourself daily. Keep your head up & find your bliss. Best Wishes.

1whoseesclea­rly

over 3 years ago

I've cared for my mother for years, first in her home, the last few years in mine. What you need to do is care for her but not be afraid to put your life equal with her care. Why not move her into your life, instead of moving you back into hers? Go home and take her with you -- put her in a facility you can visit often, and keep in mind that while she does deserve your love and care, you deserve the ability to maintain a life for yourself.

My husband has dementia also and it is bad but i don't feel like it is a burden on. iI just wish i could get out sometime. I had to quit my job to take care of him but that's ok. we live off his disability and it really isn't enough be just barely make it each month. i had to get rid of my car because i could not even afford the insurance. I just wish there was financial aid for caregivers because it really puts you in a hole the way the way it is now with gas prices and food prices, but what can you do nothing because the state won't help