"I do all the caregiving for my parents, while my deadbeat sister takes all their money."

Hi kunzite52, Thank you very much for your comment. If you'd like to learn more about power of attorney, check out our topic center all about power of attorney here: ( http://www.caring.com/power-of-attorney ). I hope that helps. Take care -- Emily | Community Manager

Can you possibly get Power of Attorney for your parents? Is your father capable of paying his own bills or do you have to do it?

Dear Carol et al, This could have been written about my situation, except I am the dead beat sister. I have chronic depression with episodes of major depression and take medications and am in therapy. I am 48 and have never held a job for an entire year. I feel terrible about being such a drain on the whole family. I suspect that my folks should not be helping me, but am kept in the dark about most things especially finances as I have never been able to manage myself. I know my older brother resents me, but my younger brother tells me not to worry. In my worst moments I know that my family would be better off with out me and my depression. In my best moments, I try to find ways to earn money. I have been denied SS three times though my Doctor says I should be eligible. I don't know if my brothers are helping my folks financially, but I know that my older brother would receive a much larger inheritance if I were able to support myself.

amen to comment 1, is little sister going to share the load when mom and pop are really broke and a real burden. i hate nto soun d cold but daddy needs to be cared for by baby sister and other sister needs toget a life!!

I'm not sure I understand this advice at all. My husband simply TOLD his parents he was hurt and upset that they seemed to think it was fair for them to give his sister all of their money while just assuming he would get all of the bills. They snapped alert and suddenly recognized this was completely unfair...had he said nothing, they said, they would have simply assumed he was okay with the arrangement. Unless the parents are mentally impaired, there is no reason to expect them to want to be dead weight on one of their children. Caretakers have a responsibility to speak up to their own parents and not be the family doormat.