Mom can't live alone but blows off my attempts to help

My friend lives in a very religious community. You are not supposed to say things behind anyone's back. Yet, my friend, after widowhood of five yrs has been steadilly declining in self care and managing her own personal business transactions. Her Son is married with two little boys in another city. His Wife's Parents come from another country. He's not physically there most of the time. The local neighbors, some who are influenctial Rabbi Wives, have cared for my freind many times over the last years. I do over the Shabbos and Holidays when I visit her. I think the local neighbors are tired of filling in for her Son and they started a campaign of calling Her Son to get him to take her home with him to a situation that isn't even prepared to deal with Her.

Hi pawsz, Thank you very much for your comment. I'm sorry to hear about your situation, that must be very difficult for you. Caring.com has a wonderful local directory where you can look for facilities and help in you parents area. ( http://www.caring.com/local ). Simply select the type of care you'd like to find and then your parents location. I hope that helps. Take care -- Emily | Community Manager

Who do I call about my elderly parents not being able to live alone anymore? I need names of specific places to call. I dont live nearby ad they refuse to live with me. My Dad is 84 and driving with no license, registration, and my Mom is the same age and losing her thought processes. When my mom calls someone for help they rip her off and leave without helping. Someone needs to be called, but I am not down there and dont know what to do. Please advise.

I went through the same situation....tried for 2 years to get my Mom who has Alzheimers/dementia to get help or come live with me..,. She was adamant that she would NOT do it....Unfortunately it came down to a situation where she drove off, wrecked her car and wound up several states away in a motel. I went to retrieve her and brought her to live with me. Had to put her in a senior psychiatric evaluation program for 10 days but with the right medication she is much better. Still thinks she can live alone even though that will never again be possible. I would strongly urge you to keep trying to enlist friends, family, church members to try and convince her that she needs help. It may not work but at least you will feel a little less guilty. Also try contacting the Elder Services in the area, they can provide great information for you. Good luck, I wish I could say it's gotten easier for me but it hasn't...the only difference is that I now am living with it daily rather than from 400 miles away.

I am 62 years old. I am a diabetic. I am on Namenda for memory. It also helps with my Diabetes. I take a lot of medicine for Chronic pain due to a back injury. This includes Ambien. My Dr. says according to my test I have a Cognitive memory loss. I forget the middle of things. It seems to be getting worse. An exemple is a Friend told me to go to the libary and get a Cd called Keeping Faith to listen to when I went on a trip. I wrote down Keeping Faith . Later I had no memory of this at all. I can not remember names of people in my quilting club that I should know, or the middle of a page in a book. I have read. I can not quilt a pattern any longer. I do not understand how to read the pattern. I can not follow instructions because I will remember the beginning but forget the middle and maybe remember the ending of the instruction. Have you heard of this type of dementia? How long before The middle forgetfullness catches up with both the front memory and back memory? Any ideas you can give me for a support group also would be appreciated. I was told I do not have alhemilhmers.

Great answer. I think that with the safety issue, you can get your Mom a FotoDialer. It will allow her to easily call for help even if she is frazzled in an emergency. It connects into her existing analog phone. There are 24 wallet sized photos in her FotoDialer where she can just dial people/places by pressing a button next to their photograph. This is not a cure-all answer, but I think it may help her have more connection with you, more self reliance, and the ability to call for help in an emergency. http://www.FotoDialer.com

Thank you for this insightful answer. I, too, am dealing with this type of situation. Becoming the parent is never easy, and I find responses like these helpful.