My sister-in-law has an axe for a tongue.

I love the positive thinking and knowing that as a caregiver you need both kind words and inner strength. But I also know that it is time to turn a corner with evil sister-in-law. Yes, many of us find solace in food and/or the act of eating when our worlds have turned upside down. Unless your sister-in-law is actually helping with your husband's caregiving by offering to help - at least by giving you some time to yourself to catch up on rest, reading, shopping - she is part of the problem. When she makes her venomous comments, just give her something to think about: smile and thank her for her support in this difficult time. Sweetly tell her that you know you can always count on her. Then if you feel confident it is time to ask her what she would like to do for her brother. Ask her what shift she would like perhaps once or twice a week. Be prepared with times that you would like free for yourself. "Would you like Saturday from 9:00 am to 2:00 pm or would Monday evening from 5:00pm to 9:30 pm be better? Don't as an open ended question to which she can answer yes or no. Be direct, take a page from her candor but not her lack of tact or sensitivity. Don't say any more, you have behaved like the lady you are; you have said what needs to be said in a way she might have to consider later. Perhaps she will understand that she needs to reform her ways, perhaps not. You don't need to swallow your hurt while trying to maintain your demeanor. You have put the issues out there. You might also want to explore the availability of community services since you obviously need both some "down" time and support. Best Wishes

Yes, your SIL leaves far too much to be desired and also seems to be Jealous of you too...People and that includes Family members are not excluded from many Hurtful, Negative Things which are said. I too heard extremely ugly things said, while sharing the Care giving of my Mother and I ended up being her main advocate. I learned a lot in that Horrible time watching my Dear Mother suffer from Alzheimer's and other health problems. I'm still grieving, as it has only been just one year since her passing. Surround yourself and your Husband with as many positive, supportive, loving people as possible. I would have a supportive person with you every time your sister-law visits and schedule her visits so that gives you time to have a supportive person with you. You are a Beautiful, Loving Wife and Kind person. Your SIL cannot hold a candle next to you and she knows it. Shame on her for she is Classless!

Unfortunately, it is easy to forget about ourselves when we are caring for a love one and as an result our mental, emotional and physical health suffers.The National Parkinson's Foundation has all kinds of information on caregiver's support services, please investigate what is available locally to you and make use of the services. If this not viable solution contact your hospital, the community services department and inquire if they have volunteers who provided respite care for a couple hours weekly so you could go shopping, get your hair done or keep some other appointment. As far as your S-I-L is concern don't lower yourself to her level of stupidity. Believe me she is seen for whom she really is, a negative, foul tongue, bitter person. I sense that you are truly gracious individual, much respect to you and hope you will be able to find supportive assistance in the care of your husband.

please for give the misspellings: the whle struggle I went through and the new ones I now go through do bring tears to my eyes.

your sister will be the one in the end regreting her lack of involvement but in the mean time as i had to do with my sisiter; tell her if she can not come into our home and be 'nice' she was not lovnger welcome. you don't need the insults when you have so much on your plate. After an very abusive child hood and not knowing my siblings well; it took alot out of me to stand up to my sister. She too was angry for the same reasons. it started a whole new relationship between us.. now 30 years later we support each other although in differnet ways and it still can be astruggle but we know we can count on each other. all I can say is that you need to stand up for yoursself to help yourself. if she chooses to not come around then that is hers to deal with. you need to do what you need; be responsible for you and to take care of you.. I know it is hard; i too continue to struggle.. we all will from time to time.