I really wish I could find solice in these "you'll be glad you had these days with him" kind of comments, but I'm not so sure. Right now, I'm putting a box around a lot of what I do for him, treating it almost clinically in an effort to preserve my sanity. I fear I will only remember these days in the disease, and not the days when we did a lot of did together. I lost a six figure job because my focus was on him the past four years getting his situation in order, instead of maintaining a focus on my work, client relationships and internal employer relationships. The endless calls at work, rearranging client meetings to run over to his house, and running ragged to prep his house for sale took their toll. Now instead of being able to place him in an assisted living center, I'm stuck with an 86 year old roommate for purely financial reasons - I need his income in addition to unemployment to keep my house and pay bills. Yes, it may be better for him, but I have no life. I've already made up my mind that my job search and any future employment will need to take priority regardless of where my dad is in his disease, or I'll end up in worse shape than him when my time comes.At least his house was paid for and he has a pension. I've been wiped out. As long as he is reasonably high functioning, I'm finding that a local adult day care that works with varying dementia patients has been a god send. Their staff and I are working through some of his 'anxiety attacks' triggered by arthritis pain, which mimic heart attacks, so we aren't calling EMTs three times a week. I will be the only way I can reclaim my life and career while I'm still young enough to enjoy it, and still know he is in good hands during the work day. I know most of the care givers who post selflessly give up their lives, their homes and finances, but you absolutely can't lose yourself to this disease in addition to losing your parent. Caregiver anger comes from giving and not replenishing your soul and your sense of self - and your bank account. It's even harder if you had/have a professional life or career: most of us boomers 'are' our jobs; and if you're single and live alone by choice as much as circumstance, your parent suddenly forces you to be an unwilling and unhappy parent to a childlike elderly parent. I don't think any care giver should feel guilty about anger, about wishing at least once a day it would be over, about putting their parent in a nursing home instead of continuing home care . . . it think it goes with the territory. Becoming co-dependent, feeling as though you're only worth is as a care giver, that's the stuff that will put you in a grave before you know it.