My parents would rather move far away than “be a burden” -- but I want them nearby!

From someone whose parents did just that (move away to be considerate), I know that it just doesn't work the way they want. Tell them that it's more of a "burden" on you to be expected to travel so far with family in tow to visit them if they get ill, or need help, or land up in the hospital. Tell them also about all the life and good times they and your children will be missing by not seeing each other. Good luck with this because my parents' move has become the bane of our existence.

they need to hear that from you, really REALLY hear it. it's a bit of a truism that the most considerate people don't want to "burden" their children. They genuinely don't get it that maybe their children want to have them around, that family at best does care for each member and that no-one is less valued because they got old. And that this is a deep powerful message to your children too -- this is how we show the power of love, by stepping up beside family members who need that. Tell them you all want to have a serious sit down discussion. Make it a little bit forma, to give it more emphasis. Bring the kids. Have everyone tell them, not just that they're wanted but needed, for their special qualities. List them. Have the grandkids express why they'd miss them too much. Tell your parents you want to be there and you want to show your own children the strong love of family caring for all its people. Ask your parents to help with that. If they genuinely want to play golf in the sun, you'll be out of luck. But if they were just afraid of imposing, it will warm everyone's heart and bring your parents peace. PS maybe they themselves are having adjustment issues to the changes of age. Maybe you can help them with that.