I can't seem to get over the grief and shock of finding out my husband has Alzheimer's.
By Carol O'Dell, Caring.com contributing editor
Last updated:
January 24, 2012
kasur
said...
18 days ago
My father has just recently been upgraded to Mid to Severe Alz....the Dad I knew has been long gone..and yes we miss him...but he is not dead..he does not have Cancer..My Mother passed after suffering for a long time with Cancer..her mind not affected...my husband of 30 yrs dropped dead of a heart attack..long before he could walk his daughter down the aisle or see his Grand Children born...My Dad has been to all the weddings..has met all his Great Grand Children and we keep him active in their lives..watching their swimming lessons...going to the park to play...walks on the beach...he babbles on about pretty much nothing..and we let him..because other than the Alz. he is happy and healthy for now...and we plan on making "new" memories with my Dad as his life changes...we have keep sake photo Albums for him , with pics of My Mom mostly..( he does ask about her every day...LOTS)..our years with him , seem to be lost now..he knows we are his daughters and has a high level of trust with us...he does "feel" I guess rather than "know" we would never do anything that would harm him and are here to help thru this last journey in his life...grief is not a word I use to describe my Dad's condition..I will save that for when he passes...Grief is what I feel for my Mother and my husband..as a family, we decided to take Alz. " One Day at a Time"....and are thankful he is not suffering....I guess what I am getting at is.." Enjoy each moment...no matter what...they will end one day...do not look at the glass half empty, as hard as it may seem ...it is always half full...even when they pass over...because then, you know they are at peace....kit
Maia Dobson
said...
about 1 month ago
Whenever I visit my parents in retirement communities long island, I always get to see people with Alzheimer's disease. It does takes a lot of patience and understanding with our loved ones with this disease.
deebles62
said...
3 months ago
Carol's story is much like my own. It struck a cord and the tears started flowing. My 66 year old husband of 30 years has been diagnosed with frontal lobe dementia as a complication of MS. He has expressive aphasia and does not communicate well. He has good days and bad, and now has sundowner syndrome. My head is reeling from all the articles and information I have read. but the thing that is the worst is that I MISS MY HUSBAND. He was my confidante, lover, best friend and soul mate. Even though he is still alive: the very person I married is GONE. I have quit my job to take care of him and often I feel very much alone. I feel guilty for the frustration I feel. So many emotions and no one to share them with. Finding this sight was a blessing.... I hope you don't mind my sharing. D
Wyo - Leah
said...
4 months ago
For anyone who is facing the shock of a diagnosis of early-onset Alzheimers disease (AD) -- I found these actions to be extremely helpful to combat the overwhelming pain and grief of the diagnosis of any deadly disease or condition:
1. I threw myself into research about dementia, not just AD, as for 4 years my husband Mike's diagnosis was "Dementia of an unknown type." Last May 2011, his Mayo doctors changed the diagnosis to "70% AD, 30% fronto-temporal dementia."
By looking at the many different dementias, it made it easier for me to understand some of his behaviors, as the dementia diagnosis so often is dependent on the parts of the brain that appear affected. Limiting my research to only AD would have made some of Mike's actions more upsetting and confusing.
Combined with this, I follow news about memory loss as well as AD. If a new treatment seems promising and logical, I check with his neurologist and with Mike and then try it if both agree. I don't know if any of these vitamins, minerals, foods, and/or exercise programs have really helped, but he became ill at age 48, 5 years ago, and is still able to stay at home by himself while I'm at work and his doctors are impressed with his abilities.
The research and active involvement in his treatment gives me a purpose and a feeling, true or not, that I am helping -- and not helpless.
2. It took me three years before I finally sought counseling. I only saw her -- a wonderful person who was trained in grief counseling -- for a few months, but she helped me to work through the anger and grief of losing my husband of 30 years as well as my life and our hopes and dreams. It was also very helpful to vent my frustrations and learn to cope with my guilt over getting frustrated with Mike.
3. This suggestion is one I advise, but have never followed. NOW, while the disease is in its earlier stages, create a support group around you. Friends, family, church, etc. I have seen others in the same type of situation find an enormous amount of help -- spiritual, emotional, and physical -- through their church. I have seen friends and family members leave us as they are uncomfortable with Mike's illness. But finding the right church (synagogue, prayer group, etc.) can be one of the most important things you do right now as part of your planning for the future. The "brand" of faith may not be as important as finding a group that actively provides help and support for their members in need.
Keep looking for help and answers -- I had heard the same advice I've included over and over again and ignored it, but there will come a time when some suggestion will resonate with you and provide solace or help when you most need it.
Best wishes to you and your husband --
Leah Noonan
Caring Community
said...
4 months ago
Thank you for sharing about your experience RWFoster. Here's a link to the other Caring.com article you referenced (which does not endorse any particular water product): http://www.caring.com/articles/5-best-reasons-to-drink-water
RWFoster
said...
4 months ago
This is just some information that I know is helpful. Dr. Reardon I saw your article on drinking water and it's importance to the body. Hydration is so important yet I have found that I was not getting the best hydration until I started drinking micro-clustored (smaller) Kangen Water. My energy level, brain fog, blood pressure and weight all improved. I read the blog of the woman whose husband was diagnosed with Alzheimers. I believe because of how effectively Kangen water hydrates to the cellular level. It may help. I have heard and witnessed many a miracle one might say due to the changing of water from the bottled or tap to this hexagonal water. It's uttlerly amazing...Well this is a passion of mine to share this with people. It is costly I admit however my and my family's health was worth the sacrifice. check out www.freshflowsystems.com and feel free to email. change your water change your health

