My sick wife is way too dependent on her mom for her care.

I think this was a very helpful article - well written, I can see the needy thing being open to interpretation, I also was a little taken back, but did not lose sight of the overall meaning. It was insightful on many different levels and helped me with something I was dealing with this evening.

The husband has recognized his wife has a problem. He is no doubt feeling very alone in his situation. He has reached out here, to a caregiving expert, and it may also be helpful for him to check out the Well Spouse Association, http://wellspouse.org site, where peer support is offered.

Thanks so much for your comments. If I may explain, I use the catch phrase "needy is creepy" as a way for me to recognize when I'm too anxious, trying to too hard to please, and otherwise forgetting my own worth. I certainly didn't mean for it to come across harsh. Sometimes when we're caregiving we forget to step back and feel our own inner strength. It's admirable that this gentleman wants to have a true marriage partnership. Thanks for reading--and for your input. ~Carol O'Dell

Very well put! That was unnecessary and juvenile.

I thought this post was interesting until I read the "Needy is creepy" comment in parenthesis. If that man IS "needy" because of his own lack of coping mechanisms, he doesn't need to be told he's creepy as a result. The other suggestions about developing other comping strategoes was excellent. But the comment about being creepy wasn't helpful.